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Today, C and I had a discussion. He is missing a grandad figure, not a nanny figure (his words). We had a long chat, told him i could ring T's dad, and go from there. I called him, and the cheek of the pig denied ever knowing about C (a lie, as I had called him when C was 4) Explained that C was coming up 10 and he would like to have a Grandad. He then said, unless it was confirmed by T (the father) then he knew nothing about C. Git!! Then he said he was very ill, had 3 weeks to live at the most (liar), and he would speak to his son (c's dad). What an a*******. Wouldn't speak to C. Rang T (c's dad), very pleasant. Told him about the conversation, said he would speak to his dad!! No idea that his dad was dying!! The whole family are a bunch of jerks. T laughed when I said what his dad had told me, he isn't ruddy dying at all. Am now waiting to hear if the so called Grandad rings.
So, he tells me he is dying, and he lies. Should I let such a man speak to C, despite the fact C wants a Grandad (blood related) in his life?
My instinct is to tell him he is one sick man, and C is better off.
lrh, I am thinking the same as you.. My dad (C's grandad) died a long time before he was born. My dad's best friend, lives across the road, but to me, that doesn't seem right, even though I guess he is a grandad figure to C.
Am waiting on either T (C's dad) to ring, or the grandad. I shall have a few words to say if it is the grandad. Fancy saying he is dying, what an awful thing to say. (not that I give a ruddy monkeys). He has money you see, so maybe it boils down to that!
Do you still see your dad's best friend would he be up for an adopt a grandad scheme
He's better off without him.
He needs people he can rely on.
Is there an old people's home near by? Is there a way you could visit there for C to chat to them? My Mum was a nurse in a geriatric hospital and I grew up calling in and chatting with the men. They really did enjoy seeing youngsters and having a chat. I got to know some quite well (and learnt which to avoid). The nurses were always about to make sure all was ok. When I got married, and got myself the dogs, I'd call in with the dogs. It was something I did often until my Mum retired...
Didn't social services try an adopt a gran/dad scheme at one time?
Hello hazeleyes
You were trying to do your best for C by contacting this man. I don't think you will hear back from him, though.
I appreciate that what you (and C) want is a a blood relation rather than a friend but....if you were to stand the two chaps together, one his biological grandad who you say has lied to you and shown little interest in C, and the other a man you have known over the years and know to be a good man, which one would you choose to be a grandad to your son?
Sparkling has had a great idea about a residential home. Even older people who already have their own grandchildren will not see them very often. Remember when I had my youngest, we had an extra granny who lived down the road? My Mum was still alive in those days but she lived 70 miles away so this was invaluable for me, and she (the granny) loved it too.
Another idea is to think of something local where there is a ready made community...a church is a good example, where there would be a ready made extended family possible for C. When children are tiny, their whole world is the parent who cares for them but their horizons widen and widen and especially with boys, knowing some truly decent men, of whatever age, is really helpful.
How are you feeling about it this morning? You sounded angry and frustrated in last night's posts, and no wonder!!
Good morning all, and thankyou for the ideas. I am fine Louise, I certainly didn't let that man make me lose any sleep. C is also okay, he knows that I tried, and for me, that is the most important thing of course. Dad's best friend, I understand what you're saying here, and yes he would be the prefered choice, but I feel a bit funny with that one, as if somehow I'm betraying my Dad. Of course I wouldn't be, but something inside me says it wouldn't be right. Doesn't make a lot of sense really does it? He is someone to be relied on, C gets on great with him, and he'd be the obvious one, and yet...... I shall have a chat with C about things again today. The Nan figure, C said, he knew his Nan (my Mum), so that's why he feels he doesn't need another one. Guess what he means is, he had a nan, she might have died when he was very young, but she also knew him. We talked also about T, and he was adamant that he didn't want anything to do with him. Then in the next breath he said, if he spoke to him, he had some things to say to him, and T wouldn't like it!!! Told him he could write it all down in a letter if he wanted too, only thing is I don't have an address for T anymore (he moved on from the hotel to another), but I could always deliver it to his mothers.
The old people's home is a good idea, and the church. I will speak to C later and see what he thinks/says. Thankyou.
xxxxxx
Hi hazeleyes, i hope that you come up with a solution to c wanting a grandad, i got my kids involved with the local over sixities club, giving out tea and biscuits, eventually they started to chat to the regulars, now my son plays chess with one of the guys (which i secretly think he looks forward too, but won't admit too).
Hi Sally. That's a good idea too, thankyou. Of course your son wouldn't admit to that, he wouldn't want his mum to know now would he? hehe.
C has been rejected on and off, which is extremely sad, but every now and again, he really does want to meet them. Don't you just wish children would be more like us adults? Personally I would like to send this nasty little man a letter, telling him exactly what I think of him. I wouldn't waste my paper and ink though.
Hi hazeleyes.
It sounds as though C is a robust young man - and although it's awful to see your child being rejected, from what I have read it seems to me as though you've protected him from the unpleasantness you described earlier in this thread.
Have you had any further thoughts about finding a 'surrogate' granddad?
Hi mary. Not really given much thought at the moment. I've started a new thread about having a horrid day, as I received a text from C's father, asking if he is indeed the dad!!
Anyhow, right now, all I know is C is no way on hell's earth going to get to know his paternal grandfather. Needless to say I am ignoring the text 
The plonkers!!
Me thinks you agree with me Sparkling
I can't put it into words how angry I am for you both.
It should have been a kissy smiley not a pulling tongue's one. Sorry xxx
Ridiculous - their loss - plonkers is the polite word for them
I loved the tongue one Sparkling, made me giggle.
lrh, you're right but what I'm thinking, I couldn't possibly put on here 
I'm not sorry then :-)
.......deep breaths for you, Hazeleyes....
Well, I've been using the term here for three years - or is it longer now? I think Git applies nicely.
At least the council are trying to take your mind off things... xxxxxxxxxxx
You've got to be four years Sparkling, as I'm three. Wow, how time flies when you're having fun. xxxxx
No!!!!!! Four years??? I'm not old enough...
Stop kidding yourself
and I DO mean to pull tongues this time 
This month I'm still young!!!!
Tick Tock, Tick Tock
HAHA ladies. This site has been up and running just over four years now, so that will give you a chance to calculate your own length of residence
You are so mean... Just cos you're old already
Hmmmm, bit below the belt there. You might want to look at the person who posted above your one.
Just clearing my throat Louise
Louise knows I'm perfect and wouldn't be referring to her... 
I liked the old, old - or is it old, old, old board as it had our date of joining and number of posts on it (I didn't have many posts, of course...)
Just rolled off the sofa, laughing so much, Perfect??? You're so funny
I also liked the old board, where we could see everything. I was in competition with you, but being so perfect, I'm sure you would have won
Nah.... loads would have overtaken us by now.
Generally, I think we're quite reserved
I quite agree, generally
I used to like seeing the number of posts too
Are you getting jittery about an approaching Big Day, sparkling? All the best people have them, you know
No, I'm not. I don't really have a problem with age as my brother is 13 years older and my sister 11 years older. My sister cries buckets before she hits a decade one. I've been saying that I'm 50 for months now, which really annoys daughter. I did point out that I'm closer to 50 than 49, which she couldn't disagree with
I have always said that I'm a year older than I am from about February onwards. Which used to annoy Jill too, as she would say it confused her how old she was then.
There is a bit of an issue though, in when I was little I decided I'd never see 50. Jill said she'd throw me a big party for my 50th - so in that respect, I know I'll cry buckets (I hate parties or being the attention of things). Perhaps if I do get past the 50 thing (not there yet...) as strange as it sounds, I might accept missing Jill more...
I would like to buy myself something reasonable though, yet just don't know what (daughter says an ipad - yeah, right. Of course I have that much money lying around). I think a Kindle, but then look at the cost and just can't do it.
Not like anyone else will think about anything more than a bar of chocolate if I'm lucky - and would be lovely.
Ah thanks for sharing that....I prescribe a giant Caramac! Yes it might be to do with Jill and to do with it being a milestone for you. Hugs.
Ages since I've had a Caramac!
I was taken out for a meal for mine, and did have some nice pressies. Jill will be looking down, knowing you don't want a party, but hoping for something else for you instead. Whatever you do, and however you celebrate it, it will special to you because you have the children around. xxx You old fart
Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! (you should know, being old already 
)
Isn't that name calling??
I'll go to pub up the road for birthday tea. All I can after servicing son's car AND then big bill for MOT too.
Is your birthday coming up soon, sparklinglime? Sounds like you've been having to stretch finances a long way recently; really hope you've still got enough left for your birthday tea.
I like to make my birthday celebrations last as long as possible - and I ALWAYS buy myself a birthday present (even if the purse strings are drawn tight & all I can manage is a new lipstick!)
Yes, in a few weeks. Birthdy fund has gone - and more. I have other things I have to save for now, so I won't get anything this time.
I probably would have dithered so much I wouldn't have got anything anyway The five of us will go out for a pub meal though - tradition
Glad to hear you'll be marking the occasion.
Even if you are squirreling money away for other things (have to say, I usually am!) why not treat yourself to a long pamper in the bathroom on your birthday? A bit of self care doesn't necesarily cost anything in terms of finances.
I'm having the week off and a friend and her friend are coming from the north-east to stay locally for three days - although they're going on my birthday 
She's hoping we can have some girlie days out with daughter (sorry sons!!). So that will be nice.
I've just had to pay hundreds to service and MOT my son's ancient car!
Ooh sparkling, the friends' visit sounds nice
I am glad to hear you are finally TAKING A WEEK OFF. That will be a treat in itself.
I think if I am honest C would be better off without him - do you know any old men that are on their own that need a grandson - I am sure there must be someone out there who needs a bit of company that could fulfil his needs or would it not be the same