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Because I have nothing else to worry about I just had a phonecall from what was the CSA (no idea what they're called now) informing me that my first husband (the horrible abusive one) has (again) declared himself out of work and I won't be getting any contributions in the future (not that they were plentiful in the first place). But he has made a 'goodwill gesture' and sent £ 30 to show his 'willingness'. I asked the woman who rang if she had talked to him in person and she said she had. I told her I didn't believe a word he ever said. She said they'd be able to check up on whatever benefits he claimed. He obviously charmed her (he can do that, if he wants).
Now, apart from worrying about the future for the children, my health, my studies etc. I get to worry about money, too. Yippeeh.
From April there will be no more council tax benefit either.
why don't I just pack it all in now? :-(
Thank you Hazeleyes, yes, I'm ok, just very frustrated.
I'd really like half a year of boring and predictable. Just to regroup. Sigh. xxx
Boring and predictable is good... Here's hoping there's boring and predictable coming up.
The Git has unfortunately never been quite fair when it has come to being a responsible parent...
I'm with hazeleyes. You can't give up now. xx
Hi Hopeful,
Did you receive the phonecall today? (Sat). If yes, why does fustrating news come at weekend leaving you to sit with it?...grr indeed!.
I've been feeling alot like you recently. It's hard raising children alone, studying to provide a brighter future even harder and then the spears come flying unannounced from the absent parent!.
I often think "what is the point?", I just come to the conclusion that it is because I am strong I'll get through it. I do have a new towel wrapped in ribben to throw in just in case-ha,ha!!. :)
Nice one, Poppy10! A pleasure to 'meet' you by the way.
I agree, Hopeful, the stuff you can't act on always lands (in some shape or form) at the weekend. I often say that I wish I was capable of sinking - it seems like the easier at option at times - but I'm too damned good at swimmimg (plus have natural buoyancy aids 
).
Some of my friends' ex partners seem to be really reasonable when it copmes to finances - but they fall down when it comes to actual parenting. A's dad is on benefits, so I get the grand total of £5 a week - he refuses to pay any more, despite the fact that he has had a lot of money left to him in the past few years - and he sucks at setting boundaries with A. But, I keep telling myself - karma will find him out.
Keep breathing, Hopeful. Let me know if you find any of that 'boring and predictable'; I think we could all do with a dose!
Mary
Hi Mary,
Great to 'meet' you too! 
.
Sorry for my terrible grammar..I wrote the response, it disappeared and I re-wrote it hastily!.
My daughter's father moved back over sea's when we split up. He has always paid a monthly amount towards her upkeep. I won't say I'm grateful (as he is outside UK jurisdiction). I had to pay rent on a 2 bedroom property, bills, childcare etc at a time when I was hoping to return to study with a view to buying a property. Yes, our pregnancy was unplanned and he returned to his 'old' life, his dad enabled him to buy a house and he socialised most evenings making it easier to find a new partner. I doubt he gave a thought to how or who was raising his daughter.
That was 10 years ago. In fairness his contact with our daughter was mostly to suit him, mainly 3/4 times a year with sporadic phonecalls (even though they are free for him!). This said she at least felt she had some form of relationship with him. Sadly in the last 18 mths his contact has been less/un predictable and I can't help feeling that the monthly financial contribution feels like a pay off.
I often feel stuck as whilst I continue to raise daily our daughter ( who is beautiful and such a great kid) I am unable to move on as he has to a degree :(
Hello Hopeful. What a bummer! and I am saying that because I am controlling my language. I agree you need and deserve a few months of complete and utter tedium to recover although knowing you, you would be bored. Keep fighting and keep your chin up
Hi Poppy10, good to hear from you. It is indeed hard to be the one who has the day in day out work while the other parent appears to be swanning around living the high life. But then, what a privilege to share that time with our children. I know which I would rather do
I am not sure what it being the weekend has to do with it? I can't do anything about it anyway. It's just soooo frustrating because adding to the trouble with No3, studies/deadlines and treatment it's just all getting on top of me. :-(
But thank you so much for your support everybody. I have decided it's going to be a literal day by day thing. Will have to sit down and recalculate every little expense. Sigh. x
Hi hopeful, what a pain in the butt!
You have faced so much with such style, I'm sure, once you've regrouped, you will face this too. Sending big hugs your way xx
Hi Hopeful. Sorry that on top of everything else, you're now facing an added worry, regarding the money. I didn't realise about the council tax benefit.
In answer to your question. You can't pack it all in now, simply because you're a fighter through and through, and whatever life throws at us, we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down, and cope the best we can.
Really hope you're okay. xx