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I've heard something that chilled me to the bones. The lad who abused my son when he was four, has been caught on porn sites, he is now 15. I don't engage in any sort of conversation whatsoever with his foster Mum with regards to him. I have always said I didn't want his name mentioned here. When I heard about the porn stuff, I'm afraid I still couldn't comment. The anger boiled up inside, remembering a then 4 year old. Hearing this has upset me, and made me wonder if when he ventures out on his own at age 18, is he going to be a danger? For the last hour, I've been asking myself should I have taken it to court as suggested by police. At the time, as some of you know, I dealt with it, with the help of my GP. I know it's probably normal for this age group to go looking on the internet, but this lad is supposed to have a mind like a 5 year old, or so I've always been told!!!!
Hi hazeleyes, I`m so sorry that this has happened both in the 1st place and for what is happening now, please dont feel bad about not going to court, it isnt easy to do that and sometimes isnt the right thing for the child, I am certain you did what you knew was best for your son which is what matters xxx
I dont know what else to say other than I am sending you the biggest hug and will be thinking of you xxxx
What a horrid shock, hazeleyes. How do you know he has been on these sites? Does his foster mum know? It is something that needs to be clamped down on now, before he gets any older.
Yes his foster Mum told me. Like I said, from the day it happened, I told her I didn't want his name mentioned, so why she felt the need to tell me this god only knows. I am trying not to dwell on it, as it'll stir up too many memories for me, but I just wonder...... Apparantely, she banned him from the internet, and now he has supervision when he's on it. I don't know if Social Services have been informed, I couldn't ask anything, and she didn't divulge this.
hazeleyes she has a duty to inform social services that is 100%, they have to be told anything and everything that happens with a looked after child, if she doesnt then she is failing in her duty of care for this child, as Louise says this does need to be stopped xxx
Hi hazeleyes,
Have you considered ringing the NSPCC helpline? 0808 800 5000
You could share your concerns with them and they would be able to give you the correct advice on what to do with the information you have been given by the foster mother.
I am not surprised this has stirred up some buried memories, you may find it helpful talking these over with the NSPCC helpline people too?
Don't give yourself a hard time over whether you should have gone to Court, you made the right decision for you and your son at the time.
It is strange that she has told you this information and I bet you just wonder what you are supposed to do with it.
That's a difficult one, and I don't blame you for being upset at all. I wouldn't have taken the matter to court either.
I do, however, hope the foster parents will act on it with help from the social services - as they should be involved too as he's in foster care.
I "caught" eldest looking at porn when he was 12. In a way it was innocent enough as it was a link off a car website that started him off. The sites he looked at were shocking. I know the fifteen year old actively looks for them too (but I have fabulous parental blocks - I hope).
I can only imagine how you're feeling, and all I can do is send you hugs.
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