Hi everyone my ex wife doesn't have much contact with my girls and because of her mental health issues been told can't get a contact order. anyone have any idea if this is true
I have been awarded full custody and have social services backing (as useful as they are) i've offered as much access as she wants and although it has to be supervised we have sorted it so that a member of her family is the person who is supervising her. at the moment either more contact or none at all would be good. I'd like for her to still be in the girls lives but in seven months my girls have had maybe four visits and probably ten phone calls which leaves them distressed. Just not sure what to do for the best for my girls
Hello hair king
Would your ex wife be able to do more contact time or is her health restricting her contact time? I know we all want what is best for our children and it is difficult seeing them distressed, have they had a good relationship with their mum?
She would be able to do lots more but seems to have placed her new boyfriend as a priority. The girls did have a great relationship with there mum till she decided they'd be better off with me .
Hello again,well all you can do is encourage contact, sadly we cannot make a parent have that time with their children, however sad this is. How have you explained it to the girls, have you just said that their mum is very busy or been more specific?
My girls know that my ex had broke her arm as they had seen the plaster cast so as far as I've told the girls mummy has a poorly arm and is in hospital but its getting better and soon mummy will be better and able to see them more.
That's good, I always think it is really hard to explain to younger children about these things. Do you feel able to communicate with her and ask her to have a better contact routine...I often suggest a calm letter explaining that the children are sad and miss seeing her. I relaise a lot depends on how you get on with the girls' mum!
We do not have direct contact as I am the one who has been blamed for everything that has happened. I have tried explaining to her cousin all of the above but it falls on deaf ears. luckily my angels are 3 and 5 so there quite often obvious to everything
It is so difficult when one parent finds it difficult to prioritise the children. Difficult as you see the children are sad, and its not always easy to explain.
Do they see their grandparents? My lot see very little of their Dad, but I have had a brilliant relationship with my in-laws (although FiL died earlier this year). I just felt that was good for the children as it kept up contact with that side of their family.
I'm 8 years down the line, and contact just decreased. He moved away a couple of years back and that has made things easier...
Hi hair king and welcome from me too 
It sounds like you have been going through a really stressful time with all of this.
How is life with you?
I have still got a great relationship with my ex in-laws whilst they do not get to see them often due to distance from where they live my girls do get regular phone calls for both my ex mum and also my ex father in law. I am good have just gone part time at work which has made things a lot easier around the house.have a good routine in place and house is always clean and tidy as converted my garage into a playroom,and since finally getting working tax and child tax sorted (only took six months) the financial burdens have gone. I have two great sisters which help me so have had a couple of times to go out have a few beers. All is great!!!
Wow! You do sound well! It is such a relief when the tax credits get sorted. It sounds as though you are at the beginning of the rest of your life!
You have 2 children are they both girls?
Yes my eldest will be 6 in 10 weeks and my youngest will be 4 in 14 weeks. I worry about silly things all the time, like what if teach my girls something wrong or there mum tries to take them back, but other than that its been the best seven months of my life!!!
Hi hair king
It is great to hear that your really enjoying parenthood, i think all of us worry about all sorts of stuff when it comes to our kids, i know i have.
Does your yougest go to nursery? do you have any hobbies?
Yes L is at nursery on the days I work. Don't really have time for hobbies but we do like walking
Hello hair king
Yes I imagine life being really busy and not much "me" time, that will get better as they get older (fingers crossed)
Tell us a bit about the work you do?
I am a hairdresser have been doing it for 17 years now and it is the best job ever
I did wonder if that is why you had chosen that user name Glad you enjoy your job, we spend so much time working that it is important to find something you like.
Hello hair king, and welcome.
I presume the girls are living with you at the moment. It depends on the extent of their mum's mental health problems and the ages of the children as to whether she will be prevented from seeing them very much. Are you wanting her to have more contact with the girsl or would you prefer none at all?