Hey all, my name is C and ive joined here hoping to find some support and make new friends.
I'm a single mum of three boys (13,6 and 3) quite a handful!! I've been on my own now for almost 4 years (since i was pregnant).
My boys all see their dad but to be honest he doesnt really cut it as a father (no real responsabilities no financial responsabilities).
The reasons I'm feeling so alone and isolated are because my 6 year old son has behaviour problems which i'm almost certain are that of child with Adhd, and because of this we dont really get invited anywhere anymore!!!
My child is often impulsive and aggressive (i am doing a great job of inviting you all to be my friend aren't I)!! ...he can be lovely too and creative and funny (honest) he just has alot of energy and well is just misunderstood. So many parents have been into school complaining about him and while i would not want my child hurt or upset, its absolutly devastating for me too to hear that yet again my child is being bad and yet feel so powerless to stop it.
Anyway its the wee early hours of the morning and my mind is mulling over i realise I havent siad a great deal about myself but i will come back at a much more sociable hour!!!
C x
Hi Louise6
So glad you've found us.
I'm sorry that their Dad isn't being more supportive - does he live close by?
My almost 16 year old (he was 8 when I left their Dad) can be challenging, but luckily he's not been aggresive (as yet). His Dad was never supportive with things there (son has autism/aspurger's).
Hi Louise6. Welcome along from me too 
I have just the one, son aged 9.
Hi C - yes, it sounds like you've got your hands full, and the situation with your six-year-old must be very stressful. Does he have any contact with his father? And how are the other two dealing with the situation? Do you have family nearby who can help you with them at all?
Well, you'll get lots of practical advice here, these women really know what they're talking about and there are some excellent resources - so good luck and take care of yourself,
Lucy
XO
Welcome to One Space Louise6 from me too, it can be isolating for us when we have a child with behavioural problems, do you have any family support?
I was just wondering what the school have suggested in regards to your sons behaviour, have you had any support in getting your son diagonised from them?
Hope you had a good Christmas and New year, look forward to getting to know you, any new year resolutions?
Thankyou all , It's been an ok christmas but if im honest definatly not the best by far and somewhat hard work and lonely!!! I really dont want to sound miserable/ depressing and i do usually love christmas but my son is really getting me down at the moment.
I've taken him out of his school as i he was constantly in trouble and we were getting nothing but negative from them and no they didnt do anything to help or support him just labelled him naughty and ignored my concerns.....anyway he's starting a new school next week which is much smaller and they are already aware of his problems and seem much more willing to help and support him so hopefully it will be a new atart and a more positive experience for him.
New years resolutions......aren't they made to be broken?? I think im just hoping to get some support in place for boyo and then hopefully enjoy him a bit more than i do (which prob sounds awful but he is a bit of a monster) Also I'm training to be a teaching assistant so to concentrate and complete that
I do hope things go really well with the new school.
hiya louise6
first and formost you need to get your son diagnosed, the sooner the better for his sake then he will get the extra help he needs.. my boy is adhd and i had to fight the school to get a phycologist in to do a report on him.. it took 3 years for them to acknowledge my concerns!!.. by that time he was 11 and his education suffered and i hold his school responsible for that.. your boys a 6 year old child and already has a label of being bad!! no such thing, he just has a greater need of understanding.. when the phycologist finished her report the headmaster shocked both of us by sugesting ritinin!!.. i was not about to turn my boy into a future drug addict just to make a teachers life easier!.. i found quite time with the help of aromatherapy oils helped calm his mind bless him.. simple easy talk also helps.. hes now 24 holding down a job and living a pretty good life, he hasnt out grown adhd but has learnt to live with it. All it takes is one good teacher to listen to you so start talking to all of them. x
What a lovely post bea4, thank you for that. You definitely have the voice of experience and that is always good to hear.
louise6 you might be interested in our article on ADHD, which has lots of tips and ideas for coping and links to useful information.
Thankyou bea4 and Anna, my son has been assessed and they have written a report acknoledging that he lacks impulse control, concentration and emotional regulation however they dont want to diagnose him because of his age and because when he was a baby i split with his father which the psychiatrist says was an early life adversity!!
I am really really hoping that this new school will be alot better, they are aware of his difficulties and they seem to be more willing to put srategies in place to help him.
I will have to give aromatherapy oils a try, i hadnt thought ot that, he has a really consistant bed time routine of bath, milk and story every night but he really struggles to switch of at bedtime.
Well done with your son, xx
Hi louise6, I am glad to read that your son has been assessed.
Is your boys dad regular with his contact?
hiya louise6
push for a second opinion because by the sound of it that psychiatrist does'nt know their job!..
hope the new school offers your son a structured and sympathetic programme for his individual needs, if they dont push for that as well.. but do it calmly because i made the mistake of becomming my sons headmasters worst nightmare, on a weekly basis!!.. if i had known better i would have put every concern and request in writting to them.. the education system have an obligation to your son so make sure they dont let him slip through the net, like so many children do!..befriend his form teacher and keep a healthy contact with the school, dont let any kind of stigma of having a "naghty child" prevent you from overseaing your sons education, no-one wants him to succeed in life more than you so keep that in mind..
aromatherapy oils can be toxic but the safest one is lavender so only use that. you can mix it with a carrier oil such as grape seed and give your son a relaxing shoulder neck and head massage: its great fun and keeps you conected with each other.. my son found it very hard to switch of, even though he was exhausted, a few drops of oil on a cloth, or his pillow seemed to really help.
x
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Aww, Thanks for the advice.....I feel strongly that i want the diagnosis for him, only because i am so certain that he has ADHD, and that he will be better understood by others and better supported.
He's at his Dads at for the evening so the break is nice it gives me a little space to reenergise and focus on managing his behaviour. My biggest challenge is keeping his aggression at bay and he is so emotonal over the smallest of things. I honestly try so hard to stay very calm and be comforting to supportive to him but he is often exausting. I'll try the lavender on his pillow and maybe in the bathroom at bath time and try the massage too. xx
Hi louise6, coping with challenging behaviour is exhausting, it is great that he can go to his dads and you can get a break, is that regular contact? How does his dad cope with him?
Hello Louise6 and welcome to One Space! (I have deleted your real name as we just tend to use user names here, for privacy
)
You certainly do have a busy time with your three boys and it must be hard to know that your six year-old is having difficulties. Have you got any support around this; can the GP help or have a look here for a local group of other parents in the same situation. You might find that if you get an official "diagnosis" then he will be able to get some extra help at school.
How has Christmas been for you? I am saddened to hear that you are not getting much support from the boys' dad, do you get any child support money? It's great that they see him though
Anyway, look forward to hearing more from you, it is a very friendly site.