Hi, i'm steph, I have two children 19months and 6months my eldest is a boy and youngest a girl, 3 weeks ago my fiance walked out on us for no real reason and now whenever I try to speak with him he shouts and swears at me and i have no idea what i've done to deserve being treated like that. So i have signed up on here so I can talk to people who will hopefully understand whats its like, and to find out what I can do to sort everything out without having to speak to him all the time. As i want my children to have a relationship with their father however he seems so angry at the moment i dont know why so I dont feel very comfortable with leaving my babies with him.
Hello stephi07
Welcome to One Space. Your children are both very small and you have your hands full looking after them. Whilst it is usually a good idea for children to have a relationhsip with both parents, it sounds as if you need to back off a bit to let him calm down.
In the meantime you need to mobilise your support system. Have a chat with your Health Visitor and see what is going on in your area and at your local Children's Centre. If the split is to be permanent, you may also benefit from some extra support from Home Start (click to see)
You can chat away on here and we will be glad to give you support and information, and from people who have been in the same situation, and also think about family and friends you have around you. I suppose what I am saying is do get on with things yourself rather than putting your life on hold waiting for him to decide whether he is going to give you a proper explanation.
hii, yes i have support from family and friends as im currently working full time at the moment my mum looks after my babies for me, though im reducing my hours from the end of this month.
I am trying really hard to keep going and keep everything as calm as possible for the kiddies, I doubt i will get any decent explanation.
thank u for your advice :-)
Hi stephi07. Just want to welcome you on here. I would give the man a bit of space and wait on him to contact you. It's great that you have support from various people. How about his side of the family? Are you in touch with them at all?
I've heard from his mum a couple of times to tell me that we will sort this out as adults etc etc, and im like well i cant sort this out like an adult if everytime i speak to him he screams and shouts at me.
Welcome to One Space stephi07 
Wow you sound like you have your hands full there, two young children and a full time job. I think your doing a great job in the circumstances, well done you for keeping calm.
As is the case in most instances we never get the explanation we need, which does not help us in finding closure and being able to move on. I have to agree with sparkling when she said that he maybe acting this way because he feels guilty.
Is he having any contact with the children? and what do you think that you could do to avoid having contact with him? at least until he is able to be civil, you don't have to put up with his screaming and shouting at you HE is the one that choose to leave not you.
Do you have anyone that could mediate visits between him and the children so that you don't have to be present, you say that your mum looks after the children while you work, do you think this is something that she could do? or is it that you don't want him to have any contact at all right now?
Hi stephi07
What an awful shock for you.
Sometimes we never do find the reasons that things don't work out.
Do you have support from you family or his family and friends?
Sometimes the other person can react that way as they feel guilt yet want you to be the one who feels bad.