I separated from my wife in April this year and in some ways the reality is only now really setting in, I think this mainly due to the holiday season, i.e. not going together as a family and noticing all the standard family units together and thinking that should still be us. I guess this is one of the many stages to get through though.....be interested to hear others' views.
Hello Superhoop, welcome to the site.
I do agree that holiday times can be particularly hard, Bank Holidays even more so. We look around us and see all these seemlingly "happy" families and think why couldn't that be me? However the reality of these families is often far from what you imagine, you only have to read some of the posts from members here who have been in abusive relationships, for example, and they often say "To the outsider he/she was the perfect partner and no-one would believe me if I said what has been happening" We do not know what goes in behind closed doors.
However let's get back to you. How ofen do you have parenting time with your children and how old are they? Have you had to move out of the family home and what are your circumstances now?
Hi Superhoop.
welcome along to One space
A bit late, but hello, and how are you feeling now?
hi superhoop welcome i have done 2 holidays this year being a single parent the first being the toughest i have just done the 6 weeks one and that was just ok i suppose i did feel that i saw families everywhere but i tired to foucs on me and the boys . yes when you split there are many stages we have to go through and at different times too . some will go through more than others depending on what as happened to us . but things like this will only make us stronger take each day as it comes and try to foucs on being postive . hard i know but it helps do the children live with you? i try to look and stay postive i try not to look back and say why ? what could i have done ? we should have been doing this etc stya in there this is a good site
Hi, thanks for your message. I have two children and my wife is their main carer. I see my eight year old son regularly but not my teenage daughter regretfully. That is probably the hardest part and no sign of it changing in the near future I'm afraid.
Louise, please see previous post. I'm now renting and will do so for the next few months and then review. I appreciate what you're saying about other 'happy' families and we all know people who stay together despite everything.....
Thanks, this is already helping.
Not too good earlier today but it does help reading these posts, thanks
Hi Superhoop. Sorry to hear you weren't too good today, but it's all very new for you, so it'll take time. I think teenagers tend to drift off from their parents anyway, whether it's one or two family unit, so don't feel as if it's you. Good to know you have regular contact with your eight year old. How are the kids doing through all of this? They do of course tend to adjust to situations a lot quicker than adults though don't they?
shaz 5, agree but I find it hard not to look back and do have lots of regrets - however, it is vital to look forward as you can't change the past. A book I have found helpful is relate's 'how to have a healthy divorce' by Paula Hall. Anyone else found this?
Yes, they do which is a big plus. Also, my daughter is excelling at school and did brilliantly with GCSE results which is a great consolation. My son is doing OK, lots of ups and downs, how about yourself?
Hi Superhoop,
All the Relate books are good in my experience, glad you found it helpful. It's important to move forward and not to dwell on things in the past that can't be changed.
Hello Superloop.I haven't read that book, but I'm into Paul McKenna at the moment...
At least your daughter has done really well with her GCSEs. My daughter will be taking hers this year...I hope she will be ok with them, and that my recent split doesn't affect her too much.
Hi Superhoop, welcome along to One space. Holiday times are hard for single parents I think. How many children do you have? Is your wife the main carer?