This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
At the moment, my childs father only sees A once a week. Bteween visits, theres no contact and no effort to ask/discuss childs life in general e.g. school, birthday, etc. He's quite 'aloof'.
I feel iv'e got to a stage, where i feel the current contact is unfair and perhaps not enough. I feel the father's actions are very oblivious to how i feel day in day out looking aftyer our child alone.
Any ideas on sort of putting my foot down and basically saying - 'this is what i feel is acceptable (a b and c), contact needs to develop a little bit more for childs sake, what do think? '.
And ...... if it works it works, if it doesnt ... well... theres nothing i can do, atleast i know iv'e tried.
Any opinions please?
thanks
Hi Sally, thanks for the response.
When you say that the courts would accept a weekly visit, im finding this a bit unfair to apply to everybody's situation.
With my situation, the father has numerous days off work of which he is clearly not giving to his child, Furthermore, when he does visit for the week, its only for 2 hours in our home. It's harldy quality time between father and child.
Can you see the angle im coming from? Im just finding it very difficult.
thank you
Hi pink lilly I can understand your frustration, there we are revolving our whole lives around our children and our ex's get the happy 2 hours (or whatever has been agreed).
Was the weekly contact a 'friendly' agreement between the two of you or a court agreement?
I think you have every right to lay out what you think is best for your child and keep open to compromise or discussion, always keeping in mind, as Sally says, to not be confrontational, but with your childs best interests at heart.
Hi anna,
it just happened, we both sort of agreed to it implicitly.
I feel my childs well being is not the fathers priority and im trying to make him aware of this,with the possibility of change.
I think you are doing a great job, pink lilly. If your boy's dad has plenty of time off then it would be hoped he would see him for more than two hours a week, and I know that you have said for a while that you want his dad to do more constructive things with him than just come to your house. I can see that you are trying to balance out what you feel in your heart with being scrupulously fair. I think what is "best for your little boy" is a good decision!
Hi pink lilly
If you are finding it difficult to discuss this with him then you could try writting to him, stating to him what you would like to see happen and giving your reasons for this and just wait to see what reaction you get. I would refrain from doing any finger pointing and just keep it to the facts otherwise you could get his back up and you would be less likely to get the response you would like.
I don't think that you could do anything legally as he see's your child once a week and the courts could possibly see this as acceptable contact as lots of dads have fortnightly contact.
Sadly we can't make them be more involved in their childrens lives not matter how much we would like them to be.
I'm sure others will be along shortly to give you some more ideas, Let us know what you decide and how you get on.