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, i am homeless , and have been for over two months. i found myself in this position through no fault of my own, but due to a breakdown in communication with a relative who i had spent 3 months caring for.
my relative is a recovering alcoholic who was told that her organs were shutting down on her by her gp, at an appointment i attended with her.
my relative also has ongoing mental health issues, amongst other things she suffers with personality disorder.
she had no other support other than a housing support worker when i took her into my care.
i guided my relative through detoxification and gave her 24hour support during the first 2 weeks at my former private rented property.
following this she was admitted into hospital, where she was an inpatient awaiting the rehab facility in X.
my grandmother who is currently too ill to run around after my relative asked me to assist my relative through her hospital admission, i was asked to attend all meetings with the MDT, and be present during all meetings with other agencies concerning my relative, which i did continually for 3 months.
my relative asked me and my daughter to move into her property and to maintain and provide support to her, her son and also her home which was in a terrible state due to neglect. granted me and my daughter would have had to of shared a bedroom, but because i was providing support to my relative i was unable to keep all the regular night shifts as part of the nursing bank, due to attending meetings the following days on behalf of my relative. i was not getting the same regular wage and i was unable to maintain the rent on a private let, and couldnt afford to renew the tennancy.
2 weeks after moving into my relatives home and after scrubbing her home until it was habitable and ship shape, she decided to contact me from the hospital saying she didnt want to recieve support from me anymore and requested i leave her property that day, with nowhere to go. i hadnt done anything wrong as other people who are supporting my relative will vouch for me, im guessing its part and parcel of the nature of her mental illness, and also her perogative.
The two local pcts have merged there mental health facilities in april 2011, and so now are in charge of issuing my pay.i am not contractually working for them, i am under there temperary staffing bank, which means it is my job to provide support to other patients when the permanant staffing levels are low, ie in times of sickness, and holidays etc etc. my employer has no address in which to send my payslips to, and as a result the work im being offered at present are shifts in which they know i couldnt do anyway ie, early shifts, 7am start til 3pm, as my daughters nursery doesnt open until 7:30am, and also late shifts, which dont finish until 9pm, as my daughters nursery closes at 6pm this is impossible also.
i have in the past relied heavily on the support of my father and disabled mother to provide overnight care to my daughter a few times a week, so as i can work night shifts.
the combination of having no home and also no work at present means me and my daughter are seperated. she sleeps at my parents. my 4 year old daughter is at nursery during the day, so as she has some routine. however due to the lack of routine in my own life ie providing for my daughter, working and having no home is having a profound affect on my own mental health, and i am back to recieving 1:1 support with my mental health nurse on a weekly basis similar to which i was recieving earlier on in the year, prior to me losing everything. my mental health state also has an affect on my parents and strain between us all, is evident.
during the past two months i have occasionally been able to spend a few nights here and there with close friends and extended family, however mainly i have been sleeping in my car.
when i was at school i was bullied and even had my hair set on fire, and since then i find it difficult to trust people, i also do not mix well with others, as i have a lack of confidence.
i have been offered to go into a hostel, but for the above mentioned reasons i dont think i would suit hostel accomodation. moreso, me and my daughter, who is my whole life would remain seporated, and my nurse even said that my mental health state could potentially become worse, as i mainly suffer with anxiety, and obviously due to current circumstances, my depression is worsening.
i am not asking for a hand out, i am pleading for a hand up, and a chance to get mine and my four year old daughters life back on track. i am a proud person who has been brought up with good morals and a sincere and caring attitude, hence spending the last 8 years working for the nhs, helping others when they need it most and providing support to others. hopefully with the chance of gaining a fixed address, i will be able to be a mommy to my little girl who is due to start school in september, cooking for her, bathing her, tucking her up at night, things that i will admit i took for granted before. i will hopefully return to work, in the mental health sector helping others who have found themselves in difficult situations and be able to offer them support and guidence, and finally hopefully i will be able to mend the strain that this whole situation has caused with my immediate family.
MY LOCAL HOUSING OFFICE ARE SAYING I HAVE MADE MYSELF AND MY DAUGHTER INTENTIONALLY HOMELESS, I HAVE THE BACKING OFF MY LOCAL MP, WHO THINKS THIS SITUATION IS A DISCRACE BUT OTHER THAN WRITE COMPLAINTS, THERES NOTHING HE CAN PERSONALLY DO. IS THERE ANY HELP, OR ADVICE, I'D TRULY WELCOME ANYTHING AT THIS POINT XOXO
thank you, support is something i could really do with at the moment xoxox
desperatemommy please call womens aid they will help you, also shelter who will give you good advice xxx
One thought I have just had, is there anyone with whom you work that could possibly offer you a room even if only temporarily, you cant live in your car, that must be so scary for you, I was once homeless a long time ago now but I do remember how it felt.
I realy do feel for you and your daughter it must be really difficult for her to understand right now but she will know in years to come.
Mental health and alcohol are not good together but hopefully the help that you did give will have made a difference which I realise right now is no conselation to you at all.
I have been in a womens refuge again many years ago now and it was one of the best things I ever did, if that is an option for you please consider it, they arent as scary as you might be thinking xxx
I will be online for a little while yet if you need to talk xxx
I am so sorry that your health is suffering with all the stress and worry its little wonder but good for you for getting help with that xxx
This site is the best there is for support, understanding and caring xxx
Louise who is one of the moderators will be along tomorrow and will reply to you as will others so please do come back tomorrow and every other day, we all help each other on here and it works xxx
Where are you staying tonight xxx
thank you. i will make contact with them tomorrow.
my co-workers dont really know me that well, nor i them as im only temp staff, which means i cover illness, holidays, etc at short notice. they know me enough to say hi to if im on there ward but not enough for me to tell them of my problems, so thats out of the question.
the lady from the council contacted me at 4:45 this afternoon to ask if i had informed my parents or my grandma of my situation yet, which i explained to her only yesterday that that would be out of the question, as my mom and my gran would be devestated as it was they that asked me to provide my aunt with help in the first place. i dont want to make them worse, they already have enough to deal with with their illness, plus if i told them exactly what had gone on, it would cause a huge rift in the family, i will not be the person responsible for that. i couldnt live with that on my conscience.
the council also contacted my former landlord to see if he would have me back, even though she knows my former property is now under lease from someone else, so on top of that my former landlords now know my business too, so much for privacy.
i just want to be back with my daughter, i hate leaving her, at night especially, its like my whole life has been torn apart, ive never asked anyone for anything before, yet im being made to feel like a scrounger
i just dont see why they wont help me, yet i know someone who has never had a job, in and out of prison, last time for robbing a pensioner, who has just been released and given a two bed new build, for just him, (brags on f/book) where is the justice??
if i could afford a private let i would take one, but i cant, :-(
xoxox
Have a look at this
it gives you lots of information about what you can do if you are classed as intentionally homeless, it does say tht you can ask Social services for help and I know that for some people thats a scary option BUT if they can help you to find a place so that you and your daughter can be together then it will be worth it.
I do hope that Shelter or Womens aid can help you xxx
Please try not to think of the injustice of it all, just try to keep strong and focused on yourself and your daughter, everything else can wait.
Are you safe tonight?
xxx
would you believe me if i told you im in the shed at my parents house.
my youngest brother (18) caught me sleeping in my car, demanded to know what was going on, so i told him, (his shed is a gaming shed for him and his friends) he agreed that it would tare the family to shreds if they thought my aunt had done kicked me out, so he gave me his keys, once all the lights are off i sneak round the back garden through the gate, and in i go.
my parents think im at work, hence the little on staying with them at night, and my car is tucked away, several streets away.
xoxox
Here is the link for Womens aid
I will have to log off soon as I have to be up early in the morning but I will be here again tomorrow as will others to give you advice.
Are there any accomodation blocks at any of the hospitals, I know there are at our local one but dont know what the criteria is to move into one, have you explored that as a possible solution xxx
Awwwh I am so sorry but at least you are safe sort of!!!!!!!
I am glad your brother knows and is helping you, is it cold in there though xxx
there isnt unfortunatly, its only a small community hospital :-(
thank you for the links i will most certainly contact them tomorrow, im 27, i really should have my life and the little ones life sorted now, im more frustrated with myself at the moment
sleep tight, and thanks once again
xoxox
Is it possible that you could half tell the truth to your parents, maybe say that it realy isnt working out at your aunts and you dont want to make a fuss as she is still poorly so could they possibly take you in just for a little while, if your daughter is there every night and I was your mum I would be asking questions or waiting for you to tell me what the problem was to be honest xxx
Please stay safe and keep fighting, badger the MP to help you more, and please do call shelter and womens aid, they may look sympathetically at your case as you have had issues in your past that makes for shared accomodation difficult and also that you need to have your daughter with you.
I wish you the very best of luck and please let us know how you get on tomorrow xxx
Please try and get some rest too, if I think of anything else overnight I will post it for you tomorrow, goodnight xxx
ps I am old enough to be your mum(just) xxx
he's an angel, he truly is, he even took the spiders out, as im petrified, left me a duvet too, so im warm (ish) it is a little damp, but better than the alternative, it feels like forever since i last properly slept, ive been terrified in the car at times. im sure once i get a good nights sleep i'll be able to think clearer, heres hoping anyway, this is my 3rd night here and ive barely slept a wink, struggling to wind down, so heres hoping its 3rd time (night) lucky xoxox
I`ll be thinking of you and hoping you can sleep, your brother is good and kind xxx
Goodnight, chat again tomorrow xxx
Hi DesperateMommy. Welcome along. Tiredmum has given you some great links, so please do get in touch with them. It is an awful situation that you're in, through no fault of your own, and like tiredmum has said, if I were your Mum, I would also want to know what is going on. You were asked by your Grandmother and Mum to help this relative, which you did, and it has all gone horribly wrong, so now I feel it is your turn to ask for help. You cannot carry on sleeping in the car or shed for that matter. I'm sure they would be horrified to hear of this. Please do tell them. Stay safe, take care. xx
DeperateMommy, I'm so very, very sad reading through your post.
I hope that you are able to get good advice from Shelter. Although I never did contact them, the housing office was "threatened" with them being the next step when I was homeless. I had an Advocate then (a good friend) who attended meeting with me.
That was lovely that your brother cleared out spiders. I'm also glad he knows what is going on. Perhaps talking things through with him will help with a plan.
It's heartbreaking for you to be away from your daughter, and, somehow, I feel that your Mum would be more upset that she's not aware of what's going on and perhaps able to help, rather than finding out that you haven't felt able to tell her...
Loads of hugs, and to take care.
Hello desperatemommy
Firstly welcome to One Space, you have found a friendly site here with lots of support.
The others have given you some excellent suggestions and tiredmum has given you some links.
You must tell your parents, you don't have to make a big drama out of it, just say that your aunt is a lot better and she does not want anyone living there now and your former lease has been taken over by someone else. You have done nothing wrong, by all accounts and any "family rift" will surely be with the aunt (truly NOT your concern, you did everything humanly possibly to help) If I was your mum I would be horrified that you were sleeping in your car/the shed, you MUST get your sleep in order to be strong enough to deal with this situation.
Next get in touch with your employers, explain that you have had to move, give them your parents' address for correspondence and tell the employers what hours your are now available.
Yes get in touch with Shelter. Also have a look here at this Advocacy service near you, can they help support you onto the housing list and with the Local Authority. They may also know about supported housing, I think Integra offer that in your area?
We are here all weekend for you
good morning all, i appreciate all your comments and suggestions, and they have set me up for the day! i will be putting them to use today because im completely at breaking point. i have a housing support worker, i see her once a week for an hour or so, and she has attended all the meetings at the council with me, unfortunatly she has very little clout with them.
telling my parents is still out of the question though, as much as i cant stant the thought of my auntie at the moment, she has done remarkably well, and when she comes out of B she will need support off the people closest to her family wise, ie my gran and my mom. if she felt she didnt have them in her life she would hit the bottle once again, and everything we have all been through would of been for nothing including a huge waste of government funding ie nhs, social workers, addiction rehab facilities, im not that sort of person, ive spent my life trying to help and please people, which is all the more frustrating when i cant seem to get any help back, the irony here is her son at 22 has never had a job, who never visited her when she was in hospital for the first 20 weeks, has a lovely 2 bedroomed house to himself, food in his belly, and a warm bed to get into each night, money for sitting on his arse playing computer games all day and gets to do this for the next 20 weeks. and according to the council i shouldnt feel bitter? well i do, and its the first time in my life i have felt like that.
had i have known that even though i couldnt afford to maintain my rent at my private rented accomodation, that i had to stay there until i was taken to court and removed by a bailiff, then perhaps i wouldnt been in this mess now, however i was too busy trying to help someone who for the first time in 20 years had asked for help and support to realise i had rights about staying in a home that is owned by someone else. trying to please my gran who also needed me to take some of the stress from her and my mother, had i have realised that my auntie was just as vicious vindictive malicious and evil when sober as when she was drunk then yes, perhaps i would of walked away and not gotten myself into this mess. hindsight is a wonderful thing, so they say. but i never knew helping my closest family was going to make me and my daughter homeless.
how the council can sit there behind a desk and make assumptions is beyond me, i mean what sort of person with a four year old child would want to make themselves intentionally homeless? go through all of this especially when their own mental health is fragile? but worse than that knowing that they are leaving their child who will always remember this time in our lives, possibly as one of her first memories? i would never wish this upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. the guilt is eating me up, and yes ive had to make several emergency appointments over the last week with my mental health nurse, as ive been quite distraught following the meetings with the council who say the most inappropriate things. i know when im focused that suicide is not an option, and im not a dramatic person, but i have come out of those meetings with the council and ive had to agree that my little one would benefit from me not coming and going in and out of her life, day in day out- im made to feel guilty for asking for a hand up, and as far as im concerned right now, i shouldnt be made to feel guilty, i should be given a chance to improve mine and my daughters life.
i moved into my aunties at her request, she knew that by me supporting her i couldnt afford to pay my rent and renew my tennancy, as i wasnt available to do as many nurse banking shifts, and she also knew that she would be hospitalised for a minimum of 40 weeks, it was something that made sense at the time. for the first 13 weeks of being in hospital, she wasnt allowed out of the unit she was in, she happily stayed there. i moved into hers, week 11, i think because my lease expired and her house was a hovel, so i scrubbed it spotless as you would if you were taking your child there, week 13 her dr decided to start giving her weekend leave, so she came home, and thats where the trouble started, please bare in mind that she was never meant to have been given home leave at all. both rehab departments were supposed to be run continually with each other, in burton they only allow visiting for 2 hours on a saturday morning so i would have been able to have gone back to work and just visited her, meanwhile a roof would have been over my head and the little ones too, we would of been together and our lives would of been ok, while i tried to set us back up with a home of our own.
i was always brought up with you get out of life what you put in, and treat others how you would like to be treated, so i do my best for my aunt, my nan, my mom, and all the services involved in all their care, believing i was helping to make all their lives easier, and i just get kicked out and kicked in the teeth by my aunt, and still trying to protect them all, im suffering.
i just dont see that when someone is in genuine need, why the council wont support them, but real actual scroungers get the world given to them on a plate, i was told by the homeless team at the council im not a priority because i have no addiction, and if i want other help i need to claim benefits. so im penalised for living a clean life, and they want me to go on the dole, id be setting a great example to my daughter there wouldnt i?! its a total contradiction, 'you cant have help from us to get yourself back on your feet, but have some other public funded money' so not only have i been kicked in the teeth from my auntie, who i helped, when i found myself in this position, i ask for help and get kicked in the teeth by the people at the council.
another contradiction is, i left my former property at the end of my lease, with no rent arrears, i used all my savings to make sure it was paid, and walked out knowing i wouldnt put my landlords mortgage in trouble, but having nothing left in my bank, however if i had stayed in the property like the council have said i should have done until i was removed with a court order- which i didnt know about, i would have gone into rent arrears, and the council still wouldnt have had to help me, my landlords may have lost there property, but we'd of been housed for 2 extra months and then still been homeless. and the LA would still not had to of helped me or my daughter. where is the logic??
xoxoxox
Hi
You can explain to your Mother and your Gran that you do not want this taken out on your Aunty. They would be far, far more upset if they felt that you couldn't confide in them. I really do believe that.
I can understand some of your frustrations with the council, as I was declared homeless with my lot back in 2005. I was not prepared to wait for a Court order to evict me from what had been our home for 18 months - the landlord sold it, and it is now a holiday home...
We were incredibly lucky though in getting this house. I know we were and I'm so grateful.
I had a support worker too who was brilliant - again now clout with the council, but never the less it was good to feel she was on my side.
My advocate, however, who knew me personally (his wife is a dear friend), and was able to speak for me, and knew what terms to use. Perhaps approaching the advocate service would be an idea?
Perhaps writing to the MP would be an idea too?
I know that with a son with special needs, this did mean I had priority (which strangely enough, I feel incredibly guilty about), yet the housing association assured me that no one else had wanted to move to the estate I'm on.
It infuriates me that with such high waiting lists for houses that the government will not insist on a social housing building programme.
It really worries me that you are so 'on your own' with this. I'm glad your brother now knows, and hopefully he can be supportive and come up with some ideas.
Sorry to be rabbiting on here.
xx
thank you, and dont be sorry, i appreciate any help, and never feel guilty, your a mother who is raising children, and you managed to get a roof over all your heads which is great and also inspiring.
my mp, is on my side and attended a meeting with the council yesterday on my behalf to discuss my case, there will be an enquiry into what ive said about staff and the way they treat people in these situations, and he will continue to help me and write letters of support etc, and my supprt worker boosts me when im on the floor. i will certainly use the advocacy service, as ive said im desperate and need all the help i can get.
xoxox
Hi desperatemommy, how are you doing today?
Did you manage to make any calls/talk to anyone?
Hope you are having the best day you can xxx
hi tiredmum, ive made contact with shelter and im awaiting a call back from them, ive also been to the church to see if they have any clout with the council, they will ring me back on monday to see if theres anything they can come up with. the advocacy service in my home town (not S) is closed until monday, and i already have a meeting scheduled with my support worker on monday too. hopefully someone, somewhere will see that the council are making a huge mistake, and hopefully i will have something sorted early next week. so for tonight im back in the shed, thankfully its not raining tonight! hope youve had a lovely day, im going to keep focused theres surely going to be sunshine after the rain, eventually.
xoxox
Hi, I am so pleased you seem more positive tonight despite everything, good for you!!!!!!!!!!
Please do call Shelter back if they dont contact you, it wont be that they have forgotten but they do get very busy so a little polite pestering might be neccesary xxx
Did you sleep last night?
I did have a good day thank you, not bad at all xxx
I do hope you're warm.
I worry about you.
Can I ask how are you managing to stay clean and please dont be offended by that.
How is your daughter doing? Have you spent time with her today xxx
desperatemommy, Hope you are settled down now for the night xxx
Please do let us know how you are later today if you can.
Stay safe xxx
We are all thinking of you and will be here for you xxx
It sounds as if you have made some positive steps, well done, fingers crossed now that things will start to happen on Monday. How are you feeling today?
Good luck for Monday. Hopefully it will all be sorted soon. xx
Hi desperatemommy, hope you are ok tonight, thinking of you and hope tomorrow goes well xxx
Hi all, im not doing too bad today, im actually staying on my parents sofa tonight as i 'had one too many glasses of wine' during dinner this evening or so they think. it was the only excuse i could come up with not to go, but i need to rest properly ahead of tomorrow, and ive even had a shower! :-)
in answer to your question tiredmum, bathing isnt something that has been regular recently, just a wash, and wetwipes, making do. its not great but what other choice do i have? i have a skin condition which is really flared up at the moment, so im going to have to visit my gp tomorrow also to get more medication and ointment, but really i should be having daily baths, if only!
im going to compile more lists as and when i get chance because im pretty sure the council are breaching my human rights, maybe i'll even get a solicitor involved, legal aid should cover me, i think?
i hate to be taking public funded money, but im really not being left with a choice, i just want to start looking to the future and making life better for me and the little one, i honestly get the fact that i made a mistake by giving up my lease, ive never disputed that, but i feel im being made an example of now, there was nothing intentional about becoming homeless,as ive said previously, nobody in their right mind would want this for themselves or their child, and i certainly wasnt to know that my own flesh and blood would kick me out of a property that i had been invited into. it says on that shelter website that its for the council to prove i made myself homeless intentionally, and i honestly dont see how they could even come to that conclusion. every decision i made, i thought i was doing for the sake of a helping my aunt, never did it once cross my mind that i would be put in this position of being homeless and seperated from my daughter, i did it out of love and respect for my elders, some might call me naive, id like to think its because i have a pure heart, but now looking back i can certainly see why people might think im naive.
so, how does one go forward from this? this is what ive been asking myself all day, and i know that with my mental state being as fragile as it is, all i can do is love my daughter and fight fight and fight some more, because my only other option is to sink, and that doesnt even bare thinking about.
i hope you have all had a lovely day, i will write again tomorrow and let you know how i fare, id say keep everything crossed for me, but you would all be walking around in circles all day if you did ;-)
xoxox
Hi, I am so happy to know you are inside on the sofa tonight no matter how you managed it good for you!!!!!!!!!! xxx
Yes do fight, it can be said you were naive but as you have so clearly said over and over you did what you did out of concern for your aunt that should never be held against you by anyone, how about going to the citizens advice too they have an on duty solicitor that should be able to give you good advice on your legal standing, if thats not an option or you cant get an appt, lots of solicitors offer the 1st hour free so maybe look at one of those but make sure you find one that has a specialist in housing issues not all of them will xxx
Do go and see your GP tomorrow, it must be awful not being able to wash when you want to and to rely on wet wipes etc and will obviously not help your skin condition xxx
We will all walk around in circles for you tomorrow ha ha
Just please keep going, you will get there, remember, every day is a day nearer to having a home again with your little girl xxx
Sleep well tonight and please do let us know how you get on tomorrow xxx
Yes we WILL all walk round in circles for you, we wish you well and you are right: the fight is the only viable option, good luck today
I really hope that you have managed to make some headway today.
Hi all,
today has been a bit of a washout to be completely honest. ive had meetings with the vicar at my local church, and he has given me pretty much the same advice as you with shelter, and another few services who cannot help me because im not at risk of domestic violence?? he has told me to keep pestering at the council and he will make some enquiries and get back to me tomorrow. so i went to the council and they have finally agreed to give me a homeless interview to be held on wednesday, however the outcome is decided by the same two people i have already seen there and both said in previous interviews that i made myself homeless, so we already know what the outcome of this is going to be, bias much?? she wants me to have private rental accomodation, and i simply cannot afford to do that on my guesstimated wage potential, so therefore i would be relying on benefits, they simply do not understand that taking the last piece of dignity i have by me working, and forcing me to go on benefits instead will do to me. my daughter and my job which i desperatly want to go back to give me routine, if someone else is paying my rent and bills for me i get to sit in the house all day with far too much time on my hands, how is that going to be good for my depression? i'll stagnate, once again i feel backed into a corner by a council that claims to care.
ive got to go back to my gp's tomorrow as they gave me a gentleman dr today, and i really need to see a lady dr, so my appointment has been rescheduled for 10:30, im also seeing my housing support worker first thing, i do hope she has some good news for me.
another thing thats gone wrong today is that my aunt has signed herself out of rehab this morning, after only 1 week of being there, so this has in actual fact been for absolutely nothing, ive destroyed mine and my daughters life, turned it upside down for absolutely nothing, i feel completely empty and disheartened beyond belief.
i hope all of your days have been sunnier than mine,
xoxox
Awwwh please dont give up!!!!!!!!!!! xxx
I am so sorry that you are being given the run around, can you explore the possibility of housing beneift helping you even if you work, lots of people do qualify for help you know, how about you call the council in the morning and ask, give them an average wage and an average rent and see what they say, it has to be worht asking xxx
Would now not be the best time to come clean with your mum? Your aunt is clearly poorly and your mum shouldnt hold it against her or you, these things happen you know, but you really do need all the help you can get right now to get your life back on track and for your daughter, so my best suggestion is please talk to your mum, ask her if you can stay there for just a little while, let the dust settle with the council etc and then after a period get your mum to write you a letter saying that she can no longer have you live there as its overcrowded etc and they should then help you, none of this is right or fair BUT to me it seems the only option for you right now xxx
I am thinking of you xxx
Or perhaps your Aunt saying that she will no longer have you living there?
Did you contact the advocacy service or Shelter? I'm just wondering if they can help write things down that you can read out at this interview, rather than 'just' answering questions. Just sometimes points that need to be raised can be worded in a way that isn't as effective as it could be? Just a thought...
thanks for the suggestions, yet again! my gran and my mom are devestated that after all my hard work that my aunt has just come out of rehab, so now is a worse a time as possible for me to tell them that she kicked me out two months ago, but i promise when this is all over, i will come clean, but i dont want them to have the extra burden of my present situation, they're both unwell and i really dont want to be the cause of any further health complications, at least if i tell them when im back on my feet again, they will know that im going to be fine without either of them having to worry in the meantime, and to be honest with you all, ive enough on my plate to consider right now than making either one of them or both of them seriously ill with stress, or worse, it doesnt bare thinking about.
my aunt is ill with selfishness and has no remorse whatsoever for anything that she has done to me or anyone else and she certainly wouldnt write me a letter of support saying she had kicked me out. according to the council they had been trying to contact me at my aunts address by letter and each were returned to sender marked not known at this address. also prior to me helping her she had me pinned to a wall with a knife to my throat during one of her drunken 'episodes'. she has accused another relative of ours of the most dispicable acts imaginable, stole from all of us including my gran and my mom, she really is the lowest of the low, but we figured she was 'mentally ill' and i gave her the appropriate care and registered her with other agencies in order to provide her with the other support that i couldnt myself manage. i always see the best in people, i always say its a strength, but in this particular case its proved to be my weakness, ive been taken for a fool by her no shaddow of a doubt about it, but if im a fool then so are my gran and my mom, because we all believed she wanted to change after she heard that her organs we're failing on her and she was told if she didnt stop she would die (by her own g.p). as i said yesterday, i'd like to think ive a pure heart, and respect for my elders, ive gone into this being a caring and honest person and despite being taken for a fool, and losing the life that i have worked damn hard to provide for me and my daughter, i fully intend to keep fighting and pick myself back up again. but i will never ever talk to my aunt again, the way i feel right now she doesnt even deserve to breathe the same air as me. this is a hard pill to swallow.
ive been going through some paperwork and i think i have found my case proving i didnt know about my tennancy rights, and that i have at all times acted in good faith, please let me know honestly what you think, ive tried appealing to the councils softer side, but clearly they aint going to help me so im going to have to play hard, and be short and straight to the point
i registered on the housing in early march, my lease was due to expire april, i wrote a change of circumstances on 25th march, informing them that i had moved to my aunts residence, not once did the council write to me saying i had a right to stay in my rented property, no advice on my tennancy rights despite me saying a was going to become homeless, no phonecalls, no emails, nothing. my chance of circumstances was rejected by the council, and my application was suspended. and i heard nothing from them until 14th june, when the council decided that they we're going to open my case again, and i was to be placed in the lowest possible catogory. im homeless and seperated from my four year old daughter who has had her application for entry to primary school in september suspended.
xoxox
Good luck with the meeting today, and let us hope that all your sterling efforts will start to bear fruit.
Hi deseratemommy, hope you have a better day today xxx
Just one thought, have you tried applying directly to any housing associations you have in the area, they will all have different polices and criteria, one thing that will go in your favour though is that you are working, also how about going into some estate agents and just see whats available to let once you find out the rent call the housing benefit at the council and ask if you would receive any help toward the rent, you would I think only be able to have a 2 bed as the rules have changed for housing benefit so please bare that in mind.
The other thing I thought of was how about seeing if there is another single parent in your area that maybe has a spare room, lots of single parents are now finding this is a good way forward, I know there was a post about it a while back, its not for everyone but just thought I would mention it to you xxx
Hi DESPERATEMOMMY
It has been a while since you posted, it sounds as though you have been through a very traumatic time, do you have any news for us?
Hi desperatemommy, welcome to one space first of all xxx
I am just reading your post, I will reply to you again shortly, others will be along but probably tomorrow so please do come back, this is a wonderful site where you will receive lots of support and great advice.
xxx