This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
Hi - I've not been on here for ages, but really need some advice on how to handle an upcoming medical appoinment for my DS who is 8.
He has dyspraxia - which means that he has problems with co-ordination and fine motor skills. He's been on a waiting list for almost 3 years to see a consultant paediatrician and today the appointment came through - for Monday next week.
Last year he had assessments with occupational therapy, but it was a massive struggle getting him there. He really struggles with any new situations and despite me talking to him about the occ therapy sessions for 2 months before going, he had panic attacks before each session.
I now have less than a week to prepare him for the appoinment to see the consultant - we talked about it today and he says that he doesn't need to go because he feels better about things than he did last year. He also said that if we did go that he would just not talk.
He struggles with stress and anxiety - and he has fainted at school on a number of occasions when he has been put in a stressful situation. The faints have been brought on by panic attacks.
I just don't know how I am going to get him there without him getting too stressed - and then how to get him to co-operate when we get there.
Any ideas on how to handle the next few days would be really appreciated.
Thanks
Have you spoken to your gp about the anxiety issues, is there a trigger for the panic attacks, no doubt stress of going to the appts, have you tried not telling him till say 24 hours before as little ones can brood on things given the chance? xxx
I wonder if it is the panic attacks that make your son faint, only ask that as my gp told me you cannot pass out from them as the adrenelin is running, could there be some other cause for him fainting, I do know that from experience low blood sugars make my panic attacks more severe, so always have a can of coke with me for a quick sugar boost xxx
Do hope you can make it to the appt and that your son gets the help he needs and without the stress xxx
Hi tiredmum - yeah on reflection maybe i should just not mention it to him in future - but he heard the answerphone message that they left so he knew anyway!
The panic attcks usually happen at school or if he's in a crowd, or sometimes if he hurts himself.
We've seen the GP about the faints - they've always happened at school when he has been stressed. The first time it happened the school called for an ambulance - which I think made things worse!
The GP thinks that it's probably related to him hyperventilating when he panics.
He told me to tell the school not to make a 'big deal' out of it when it happens and that he should just be taken somewhere quiet to calm down, have a drink of water and a biscuit. The last time it took them over an hour to calm him down - but they are trying to help him use coping strategies to not let it get to that stage in the first place.
The SENCO at school suggested that he gets referred to CAMHS (I think!) - so we're also waiting for that. They should be able to help him deal with his fealings (hopefully).
Thanks for your messages - maybe the bribe is the way to go! xx
Hi
My son can faint too when under stress. At primary they only presented him with a certificate once on the stage... The ocassion is still talked about with his friends, and this was a few years back now.
I do mention things to my son (mild autism/aspurger's) to warn him that something is coming up, and quickly change the subject.
It is so incredibly difficult. I bribe my son with an airfix model. Works wonders at the moment...
Did I say bribe??
Encourage... 
Hi sparklinglime
I think maybe a Transformer may 'encourage' him!! - although I have to credit him with being the most stubborn person on the planet - so will have to wait and see ;-)
ebay's marvelous for having one or two encouraging moments at the ready.
So hard though... I think you should make sure you have a reward too, even if its only a kit-kat!
Hi Fuggles
I agree about the rewards.....but also I think there is a clue in what he said about the fainting, the "big deal", maybe that is what freaks him out, he must just think I hate all this fuss, I will just say there is nothing wrong and it gets me from out of the spotlight.
Of course there is nothing you could have done about the answerphone message BUT one thing you could do is make the whole thing more matter of fact and mention that lots of children see this particular doctor (Ok he might ask his friends and then you will have to fib again and say the doctors are quite busy so not everyone gets seen when they are eight, some people don't get an appointment till they're ten) in other words normalise it all and be really casual. Children are very very quick to pick up our stresses and anxieties so you need to wheel out an Oscar-winning performance here! When he talks about the appointment and says I won't talk to the doctor, just say OK well never mind and change the subject.....and as suggested above don't give him much notive of appointments in future.
CAHMS are great but you might have to wait a while to see someone, they may assess him and put him on a waiting list.
Good luck with it all 
Well - fingers crossed..... we might have it sorted! He kept on saying that he wasn't going to go then said that he was scared about Monday. I asked him what he was scared about and he said that it was because he doesn't like talking about his feelings with other people.
So I suggested that we sit down together and write a list of things that he doesn't want to talk about and a list of things that he would like to talk about and that we coulld let the doctor have the list. He's not mentioned it since.
Well, I guess I'll only know if that's true on Monday. But I'm going to try not to stress about it - and will be making our list on Saturday!
Thanks for your support. x
Well done Fuggles, let us know how the appointment goes
Hi fuggles, good luck with the appt xxx
Well, we sat down at the weekend a drew up the list of things that he was not comfortable talking about and the things that he wished he could do better.
The first list was really small, just one item - Talking about his feelings. The second list was quite long and centred around his school work, friendships, stress and being in crowds of people. He was really upbeat and open and I think he almost enjoyed it. It also brought up a really interesting comment from him about learning to ride a bike. He said that he thought he'd be able to do it if one side of his body wasn't heavier than the other side. It really made me think about why he struggles with so many physical activities.
We got to the appointment this morning and the Consultant was lovely - she asked him a lot of questions and he was fantastic, answering all her questions very honestly and without holding back or pretending that 'everything is fine'. We were in there for an hour - twice as long as we should have been and at the end I had 10 minutes on my own with her.
She said that she had no doubt that he has dyspraxia, but then she threw me a curve ball. She also thinks that he has autism / Aspergers.
I don't think I'm shocked or even surprised - I just wasn't expecting it. I have thought about it before but just put things down to him being 'the way he is' - if that makes sense.
Next steps are a meeting with the educational psychologist but from there I'm not sure what will happen.
He does get some additional support at school already - but this is at the discretion of the school. If he is diagnosed - will he be entitled to additional support on an ongoing basis??
If anyone has any knowledge of what is likely to happen - please let me know.
Thanks. x
First of all well done, you really tackled all this well and I feel sure that you and your boy are closer as a result and you certainly sound as if you understand a lot more of what is going on for him.
I don't know a lot about autism, except that it is quite a "wide" spectrum, and Asperger's in one condition that is on that spectrum. If a diagnosis is made, your son will then be reassessed as to his special needs status (you get different levels as I am sure you are aware and children with a higher level of need can be "statemented") and then they will "try" and put more support in place if that is what is needed, you might have to be very insistent and it depends on resources.
We have a number of parents on here who have been through this process and perhaps they can comment?
Oh Fuggles it is great to read that with your preparing your son, he was open and honest with the Consultant, well done you!
Here is a link to the Advisory Centre for Education, the page I have directed the link to is about Getting Extra Help in School and hopefully that will answer some of your questions, however they have an advice line that you can call and ask as many questions as you need.
Let us know if you find out useful information
Hi again
Thanks for the advice / support.
I spoke with the SENCO at school this week - she knows him quite well already & is the one that has helped him with coping strategies for when he feels panicked. She suggested that I need to be careful not to get him labled - and advised that the whole process would take some time. So she's going to make his teachers aware and will ensure he receives the support he needs at school.
Thanks again.
That's great Fuggles
That sounds brilliant.
Hi Fuggles. Glad everything is getting sorted for your son. You handled things fantastically before his visit, and that obviously helped him a great deal, in being able to speak to the Dr etc. Hope you're having a lovely weekend. xx
Hi Fuggles, awwwh bless him at 8 having panic attacks, I have them and they are terrible, have you tried the good old bribery approach, wrong I know but if there was a treat at the end to look forward to would that help? xxx