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hi

clare12311

i dunno where to start ive been split from my sons dad a year now an still im so upset and angry with him its like some times i cant control my thoughts what i,d like to do he dont pay to his son his son is now 22 months old x

Posted on: March 25, 2012 - 11:10pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi Clare12311

It can take a while to come to terms with spliltting up with someone.  In my case it took a while for the anger to fade - and it can still come to the front of my thoughts after eight years - although rarely.

Have you approached the CSA about maintenance? 

If you can focus on your son rather than on your ex, as you son can help so much.  With me playing The Killers Mr Brightside and dancing madly around the kitchen worked wonders, although this does seem to have moved on to Rhianna and Kalvin Harris.

This board is a good place for support...

Posted on: March 26, 2012 - 7:40am

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi clare12311, thanks for posting your message, welcome to One Space.

I am sorry to hear that you are carrying so much hurt and anger at your ex. It is quite normal when we are left 'holding the baby' for life to feel really unfair. It might be a good idea to talk with your Health Visitor about how you are feeling, you have a gorgeous little boy who needs his mummy to feel positive and happy.

Is your anger because he left? Did he cheat? Do you still see him? Has he moved on and forgotten about what you had together? Do you want him back?

Sorry so many questions, but want to get to the bottom of it.

Have a look at this Child Maintenance calculator to see how much money your son is entitled to from his father.

I look forward to hearing back from you, we can help you through this, single parenthood can be a brilliant experience, we just need to find a way to deal with these difficult feelings and then we can move on. Would you consider getting some counselling about your frustrations?

Posted on: March 26, 2012 - 9:40am

clare12311

hi no he dnt pay to my son csa are there chasin him for money he was offered the rights to see his son sat 11 till 4 an sun 11 till 4 he sed he cudnt be bothered socail services said he cant see his son cos of his history an all the pain hes caused us all ,yeh he cheated he  stole money out my purse an blamed my little girl for it,im angry cos off wot hes done i cant understand how he can do so much damage when he knew how much i loved him no way i wouldnt tak him back we dont see him only when hes causin trouble or threatenin to burn house down x

Posted on: March 27, 2012 - 9:37pm

clare12311

well my sons got an op soon an his dad dnt no anything about it im not telling him either hes also got hospital tomoz hes been so ill but im the one by his bed 24,7 not his dad an his dad was more proud about smokin weed and gettin drunk rather than meetin me to sign his sons birth certificate which he now blames me for it when he chose not to come x

Its the damage hes caused and done that hurts the most he dont pay to csa and i certainly wouldnt take him back yeh he stole money out my purse an cheated on me he hit me he use to make my little girl have tobassco sauce when she was naughty he use to ring up sayin his son was a bas..tard an then he threats to take me to court for custody which will be refused as he not aloud near kids any more cos hes classed as dangerous he rammed the car knowin the kids was in it then we saw him again he put his foot down for a head on smash his m8 got out with a gun

Posted on: March 27, 2012 - 9:40pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello clare 12311

I am sorry to hear about what is going on,

Have you had some support after getting out of this relationship? I was wondering about The Freedom Programme. Click the link and have a look, it is a free online course that helps you look at abuse and moving on from damaging relationships. Are you safe now?

Posted on: March 28, 2012 - 7:42am