Hi, I'm allie. My husband left me a week ago. His decision to leave was totally unexpected and out of the blue. We have a 7 year old son and a mortgage. I'm still trying to get my head around all this. But, also need to start thinking about my finances (or lack of it!) and the house. My son is coping so well. I have kept to routines and tried to stay positive. I feel physically and mentally exhausted.
allie
Hi allie. Welcome along. I'm so sorry that you're in this position. Aside from anything else, you're in shock. It's such early days, but good to look at the practical stuff too. This is a link for 'our ask the expert' all about finance things. Just click on the blue link, and send them an e.mail. It's completely confidential. here
Please keep posting, so others can support you and offer more advice.
Do you have family, friends to support you through this?
Thank you. I have a very supportive family. At present he will contibute towards the mortgage. For how long? who knows. I'm worried that my son will loose his home as well as his father.
Hello Allie,
You are very welcome here,where there is lots of friendly support for you,
If you would like some money advice then please do email our Money Expert, they can advise you with regards to benefits etc, so that you can work out what your new situation will be (ah sorry just seen that hazeleyes has also kindly provided the link)
How is your son doing with it all? things must be very hard for both of you. I guess you have advised his school what has happened. Do you work at the moment?
Hope you are able to talk things through with friends or family. Are you eating and sleeping Ok? So many questions, sorry, just want to see how we can support you
Thank you Louise, I have just used the link to e-mail the money expert. I do work, god only knows how I managed to get through the week. Eating ok but sleeping is a little tricky.My son's school and childminder have both been informed. I just want to try and keep with routines and keep things normal for him.
Hi again allie. The money expert will get back to you as soon as they can. I think it's normally a few days, but Louise will know if this is correct or not. It's great that you're keeping things as normal for your son as possible, but obviously this is extremely hard on you. Has your husband seen your son since he left?
Yes he has. Gone to spend some time with his family and am expecting him back in our area some point this week.
Hi allie
Yes, it will be a few days to hear from the Money Expert as there is lots of demand for their services as you can imagine.
I don't want to worry you but what you are experiencing now is a form of shock, which enables you to keep going, but do be prepared for a big emotional POW in the next few weeks, I just want you not to be surprised if there seems to be a "delayed reaction", that's all. It's hard to sleep through all this (I used to do the pacing up and down thing) but just don't expect too much of yourself at the moment...getting through each day is a major achievement. We are here every day for you to talk to 
many thanks Louise.
Hi allie, welcome to One Space from me
How long were you and your husband married for? Did you really not see it coming? Do you know where he will live when he comes back to your area?
It is great to read that you have the support from your family, that can go a long way with getting through this.
We always recommend that you seek Legal Advice as soon as possible regarding your separation. You might also be interested in our article Dealing with your finances when becoming a single parent.
It sounds as though you really have your feet firmly on the ground. These early days will be tough, so just take each day as it comes.
When it comes to bed time, do you have a good book? So that when you turn the light off you can concentrate on the story line of the book rather than all the upcoming events in your life that you will need to deal with?
Hi Anna,
We've been married for 11 years and together for 15 years. he has a rented room for when he gets back. Thanks for the link, i've read it. I've also contacted the mortgage lender and have been told payments will still need to be made as it is joint. Also, been in contact with CAB, and have an appointment to go back and do a full benfit check. i really want to remain in my home with our son, but have been told that the mortgage cannot be transfered to me as my income is too low.
Wow allie, you have been very pro-active, well done. You can get lots of information on joint mortgages and information from the Shelter website too.
You were with your husband a long time, its no wonder you are feeling all over the place.
Do you get on well with his family?
Yes very well with his family. Have told them they are still welcome despite the situation we have found ourselves in.
It would be great if your son could maintain a relationship with his grandparents, dsespte what has happened. My boys still visit their dad's parents, although he and I split up 14 years ago now.
What are you up to today?
Hi Louise,
Been shopping, keeping myself busy lots of spring cleaning. Been to my mums and out for lunch. More cleaning thursday and friday!! With all my family easter sunday for a meal and few well deserved glasses of wine!
Ahh but who is doing the cooking? On TV they always show families having this enormous meal at Easter a bit like Christmas dinner. I have to admit that I have just got those frozen individual beef in gravy portions for me and the boy 
Good luck with the spring cleaning, is it right through the house, you brave thing?
Hi Louise,
right through the house!! Brave...yes!!! Mum will be cooking on Sunday, I'm the pudding lady! This forum is great for advice and support...many thanks.
Glad you're enjoying it, allie.
Pudding lady, what are you making?
More cleaning and decluttering today, do you know what? that can be very therapeutic, thinking about making a new start for you and your son.
Hi allie
I believe the phrase is 'nesting'! - I love that word, just don't wear yourself out! Try and take some well deserved 'you' time.
I hope that having a 4 day holiday period you can relax and forget about all the money worries at the moment.
It will be lovely to have the whole family around, how many of you are there?
Only 7 adult and 3 children. Puddings i'm making a Key Lime Pie and Tiramisu (think thats how it spelt). Agree that cleaning is ver therapeutic!
Hi allie and welcome from me
ooh i like key lime pie 
hope you enjoy your family dinner. I am gearing up for a whip through the house next week as i am off work then, do you have any plans for next week?
ONLY 10 people!! Ha ha, I had 5 over for Mothers Day and that was a handful!
WOW ten of you, that is brave. I did a Come Dine with me with my neighbours last summer and that was five of us.....the next thing planned is a travelling supper for eight of us, with a different course at each house!
Feeling a little low today. Hope that i'll pick back up again. I know i'll have days when i feel like this.
Sorry you are feeling low today Allie - yes there will be days like that but we are here for you - do you know why you are feeling like that - has something happened?
Yes, talk to us allie, we are here for you
Thanks. saturday and sunday i have been feeling very low but have my wonderful family to support me. i hate feeling this way.
Its a horrible feeling, but sometimes we have to embrace it, don;t make it a bad thing and try to fight it, it is what it is so how are you going to spend your day?
You could have a bath and put on your favourite raggy clothes and watch a film.
You could surf the net and look at the beauty of exotic islands and imagine yourself one day walking along one of the beaches!
Call a friend? Nip to the local shops and indulge yourself with your favourite food?
Make a massive pot of coffee and curl up with a good book?
It is lovely to have good family members around, but maybe you need to go and take a walk for 10mins, because everyone else being upbeat and trying to help you which can make you feel worse!
Are your family with you all day today?
Took my son to see The Pirates, he loved the 3D experience. Booked a cheap break in a caravan. today i feel good Hope things start to pick for me.
That's great and now you have the holiday to look forward to!
Hi allie, glad to read that you are over those low days, they can feel so horrible can't they. If and when they happen again, just remind yourself that it will pass
Are you going to the caravan in the Easter or Summer hols?
Hi Anna,
Going away in the October half term to Dorset...Bbrrr!! Will try and remember your advice oon my low days. Have been making dens with my son today. Lots of sheets, dressing gowns and peg involved!!
That was a good idea. My boys and I used to build a pretend boat and then go on a journey and then would invent a place where we supposedly got off the boat, such as a desert island or a land of music
Oooh, that sounds fun! It reminds me a bit of the Faraway Tree, one of my favourite books growing up, the children never knew what Land they were going to when they reached the top of the tree.
allie, it might be colder in October, but as long as you have warm jumpers, coats with hoods and wellies, you will have a fab time. One of our best holidays was in November when my daughter was 3 and it rained every day, but because we had the right clothes and the 'holiday' attitude, we had so much fun!
What are you up today?
Hi allie
I'm sorry you've had the need to come and find us, but you have found a very supportive place to be.
You must be reeling still with the shock. It's surprising how well children seem to deal with things.
Do you have much support from friends and family? Is he still helping with the mortgage?