Hi there I am a new member and I cannot believe it has taken me so long to find this great site, but at least I did eventually.
I am a Mum of 3 amazing kids (Motherly bias) 2 are living with me and my youngest is in Foster care, I am working hard to get my 3 kids back under one roof, but it isn't easy!!!
I was abused my Ex for 20 plus years and it was relentless, I was constantly in a perpetual state of turmoil and eventually I found the strength to leave, I waited 20 years for a Eureka moment but it happened, when it came to escaping it was easier than I thought with the wonderful support I received, and my life since has been great, obviously it isn't perfect and I am living with the ultimate taboo, a mother losing a child to foster care.
I just wanted to say hello 
Hi Murray72 you are very welcome here.You did a very brave thing to escape from that abuse.
Have you come across The Freedom Programme? We have an online version which you can do for free and it helps you look at the abuse in your relationship and ways to move forward.
It is sad to be apart from your child, have a look at this website for some extra insight. Do you have contact time with your youngest? I do hope so.
Hope you stay with uis, there is lots of friendly support here
Welcome to One Space Murray72
It is great that you have got out of an abusive relationship and that you found some fantastic support, when you really needed it.
Do you have support from a domestic abuse service? they may be able to help support you in getting your child back. Have you considered or been offered counselling?
It is sad that you have had a child removed, try not to beat yourself up about it, this sadly happens quite alot when women have been living in an abusive home, you were being controlled by an abusive man the good thing is you had the courage to leave and are in a better position to get your child back.
How are you older children coping with the changes?
I really hope that you stick with us and do have a look at the link for the Freedom Programme that Louise add for you
Thank you for your kind replies, I do have contact with my youngest on a monthly basis and her siblings are allowed to attend, we make it as enjoyable as possible and try to do new activities if possible. It is acknowledged that contact is positive and is enjoyed by my child.
I worked with my local IDAS (formerly Women's Aid) for over 18 months and was fully supported in that time, however once I had completed the work I was signed off, I can still ask for advice but receive no actual support.
My older children are now considered young adults and have difficulty coping with the situation, although they have handled the difficulties well, particularly coping with contact visits been supervised and they often said they felt watched and spied on, they have overcome this and we simply enjoy our precious time together.
Keeping my Chin up x
Hi murray72 - welcome to this site - well done on keeping your chin up - great people on here so i am sure you will make some new friends
Hi Murray72
It's hard when support that has been so valuable is withdrawn. Glad you do see your youngest, I wonder if you have heard of an organisation called Match? it supports mums apart from their children, in a wide variety of circumstances.
What are you up to over the weekend?
Hi Louise,
I have never heard of Match but I will check out the site.
Just a quiet weekend planned, I have to work Sunday's so never seem to enjoy a full weekend ggrrrr.
Know what you mean, my day off has always been Tuesday, now changing to Monday, but I still get on with my work over the weekend. What sort of work do you do?
Hi Murray72, I have said hallo to you on another board and was asking about your daughter, it is good news to read that you have contact with her, what is the next step for you getting her back at home with you?
How old are your eldest two? It sounds as though you work really hard on keeping positive relationships in your household. What are they doing with themselves? Are they still at school?
Hi Anna,
Thanks for your Hallo, I am working hard on getting her home, but I don't doubt it will be a Judge that makes that decision and not Children's Services, which is a shame :((
My eldest 2 are 18 and 21, both work hard and are doing really well despite all the experiences they have been through. We make a great team thankfully.
Things are on the up slowly.
x
Hi Murray. Welcome along to One Space. Glad you found us, as it's a great place for support and 'friendships'. You've had a really tough time by the sound of it, but hopefully it won't be too long before you get your youngest home again. The older two seem to be doing okay too, all thanks to you I'm sure.
Hi Murray72
It is good to read that your eldest two are doing well and that you are a team, that will be a positive when your case goes to Court.
Do you have a Court date? Do you have support workers writing reports on your efforts to get your daughter back?
I just re-read your first post and you mentioned your Eureka moment, it made me smile. I remember when I had that moment, it wasn't when I was in hospital or making a report to the police it was a relatively small thing that happened and I just went "No more" and it really was the end! Bizarre isn't it!
Are you having a good day today?
Hi Anna,
I have no court date yet, I have been declined Legal Aid my income was over by £36.00 per month so I will have to Litigant in Person, which is not an easy task. Anybody who has been involved with Care Proceedings will know how utterly Soul destroying the whole process is, I am currently not receiving any direct support or services, so apart from historical reports I have nothing current.
Today is not a great day I do have some down days and today is one of them, but luckily I know this is not a permanent state and will pass.
Tomorrow is a new day thankfully.
Keeping my chin up x
Hi Murray72, you are going to have to learn an awful lot about the legal proceedings I guess, not an easy task.
Have you been in touch with the Family Rights Group, who can offer you advice via a helpline and they also have a forum with a specialist advisor.
They also have factsheets that may help you with all of this, I found one called Helping reunite Families and Children that might be useful to you.
Do call them, I think it is really important that you feel supported through this.
Did you sleep well last night? How are you feeling today?
Hi Anna,
I have spoken to FRG today and I now have some more ideas to consider, it was good speaking to them as they are honest and helpful.
My general outlook is much improved and as I ever I am optimistic things will change for the better.
Thanks
Glad you had a chat with them, Murray72, it is good to feel that you can move forward
Glad you're feeling more positive murray. Hope you're ok, and you get to have a nice weekend.
Hi Murray72, I am so pleased that you contacted FRG and that you found them useful, you have a struggle ahead and it is good to know that there are organisations that can help you with it.
It sounds as though you are feeling empowered with new knowledge! , did you have a good weekend?
Hi Murray,
Well done for getting out of that abusive relationship. Glad things are looking up for you now. Im sure you will have your youngest child back with you soon, and the struggle will be worth it.
It sounds like you have been through a lot its so good to hear you are getting through it. I wish you well and welcome to the site x x x