Hi - I've been a single parent for a couple of years now. I've got two great kids a girl aged 10 and a son aged 7. Me and my ex have been through the courts for the last 2 years but now seem to have reached a kind of workable arrangement kids spend alternate weekends with him. In the meantime I've moved house twice - most recently 2 months ago. I work full-time and sometimes just feel completely overwhelmed about everything that I need to do - spending enough time with the children, making sure they are doing everything for school that they need to do, sorting out the house, meals etc etc. There's always some adjustment with the kids (especially my son) after they've been at their dad's and - sometimes we are all just too emotional and the weekday evenings just deteriorates into a mess of frustration and tears trying to get homework done, stories read, kitchens tidied etc.
I don't know anyone else who is a single parent and it would be great to swap some stories and tips with you
thankyou
Hello tragalee and welcome along. Your life sounds very much like mine when my boys were younger, it is so hard juggling being a parent and working and trying to have a social life and being the one and only cook, budgeter, nurse, driver, cleaner and teacher in the family. It sounds as if you actually need to be a military general as well!
It's tough for children to adjust from one parent to another sometimes. When they come back, I don't know how things are but one thing I would suggest is that you keep things at your house REALLY low key, just a short restful time where you don't ask questions, you just say it's lovely to see you and carry on doing something really quiet like baking or have some music on in the background and lay out a quiet activity for them, such as colouring. If it means a later bedtime that night, then so be it. In the meantime, the manager (that's you) becomes a LIST FIEND, to help herself 
Have a look at this thread, which is a light hearted look at the good things about single parenthood.
What do you do just for you, on the weekends you have to yourself?
Nice to hear from you hazeleyes and louise
I felt better yesterday after I'd posted on here just saying how overwhelmed I feel sometimes. Keeping things low key when they come back is a good idea - usually the pick ups and drop offs are at either end of school day. So they've had time with their dad, then school and they're back home after that - so it must feel exhausting for them.
the other thing that gets me sometimes is the arguing between them - they often fight for my attention and it's hard to give one-to-one time to one of them without the other one disrupting it even though I let them know that I'll be spending time with them too.
On the weekends that they are not with me - I haven't been so far very organised in planning in advance so I tend to do things by myself (I haven't got many friends here yet where I've moved to / or they are friends with kids) and it feels pretty lonely. I'm making effort to widen my social circle..
tragalee
Hi again. It's great that you're widening your social circle. Is this through work, and the children's school? When the children aren't with you at weekends, what do you enjoy doing?
Kids fighting amongst themselves. I know I used to fight with my siblings!! I would say there isn't a household anywhere, that doesn't have this problem, if there's more than one child that is. Do yours have different bedtimes? I was wondering if the seven year old went earlier, perhaps that would be a good time for one to one with ten year old. Or could you give each of them half hour each on certain days, as I know this isn't always possible everyday. I find my ten year old goes off into his bedroom much of the time, doing his 'own thing'. Feels like I have a teenager in here at times!
hi hazeleyes
i'm trying to widen my social circle but haven;t actually achieved it yet. I'm bred in the bone independent and can do things galleries, films, walking/exploring by myself but it's nice to have other people to do things with. Most of my friends here have kids so can't really hang out on my weekends off. Anyway i don't like moaning and i'm sure things will change...it's a bit different because I moved here as a single parent and don;t know anyone who knew me before i had kids..
I gave up on a plan for separate bed times a while ago but it would be nice. It's weird having a 10 year old isn't it? I fell we're definitely on cusp of something. I was an only child so find it hard with all the sibling rivalry stuff.
thanks for your tips and your interest
Hi tragalee and welcome from me, reading your post reminded me of me a while back, while the frusration bit did, i have four children and can remember evenings feeling like a real chore too.
Do you spend time with them individually? This is something that i do with my children on a regular bases, it does not have to be for long periods, i spend about ten minutes each evening with each of them seperately, where they can tell me about there day etc, i found this worked well with them all vying for my attention at the same time.
Hi tragalee. Welcome along. When you don't know another single parent, it does seem lonely doesn't it? Well, we're all in the same boat here, so understand fully! I only have the one son, but the weekdays evenings at yours sound just like mine, and I only work 20 hours a week!!! C is 10 now, but I find myself still making sure everything he needs for the following day is in his backpack. Infuriating at times, but less hassle than me nagging him constantly (as he says)
Look forward to 'chatting' Just doing dinner. Don't want to burn it again, though that's not unusual hehe