hey all. well im a single mummy to a 2 year old boy and joined this site in hope i can find someone in the same situation. i struggle on a daily basis and just dont find life at the moment very pleasent. sorry to be a dampner on things. i just have no one to talk to x
i just seem to fail at everything i touch. my sons dad done the dirty on me and well we had a very volatile relationship and he left when my son was 3 months old. so ive done it on my own. i have a 3 bedroomed house which some people may think its good but its massive. and its killing me to heat and supply with electricity. many times we go without gas as i just cant afford it. i get income support and they have attached my social fund re payments and various other things on it and it has reduced it to 80 pounds a fortnight and the 53 child tax credits is what i get. half the time i feed my son and i go without. my family.. well i dont really have family. they think more of themselves than anything else. i dont move out the house only to take my boy to the park or to go to shops.
Hi wotsthepoint, welcome to One Space, I am sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time at the moment.
Your trust was broken by your ex and I imagine everything else that has happened in the last 2 years has been a result of that situation. Does your son see his father?
It sounds like you need to sort your housing situation out if you are unable to heat your place. Do you own your 3 bed house? If so would you consider renting a room out? This would bring some extra cash in and also you could have an onsite babysitter!
I am wondering if you could get the social fund payments reduced to a minimum? You might be interested in contacting our money expert to find out if there is anything else you could do. Do you receive CSA from your ex?
It sounds as though you are very isolated. Do you see your health visitor? Perhaps you could let her know that you are struggling and whether she knows of any other mums in your situation that she could introduce you to? And what do you think of the lodger idea?
A lot of us have been in a similar situation as yourself or are going through it now, so please feel free to join other conversations. I have asked you so many questions, sorry, butI look forward to talking with you more as we can help you get through this and help you see a positive future 
hiya- well yes we ended so badly and i did say to him that i would never stop him from seeing his son he just hasnt bothered. he moved in with his new girlfriend about an hour away from me and he had my son over night one time and then told me that it was too far for them to travel to collect him and he couldnt manage to pay for the fuel to come and see L. i have no feelings for the guy whatsoever and if hes moved on great stuff. i did make a claim for csa and i recieve 5 pounds a fortnight as he has a claim for another child that he has so we have to share the 5 pounds week they take off him and i get 2.50 a week. i know that hes working weekends so i fail sto see how i just get 5 pounds a week! i dont own the house that i live in its a council house so there isnt no chance of renting a room out and they wont let me move as im paying off arrears that the ex left us in. he was ment to pay the rent when he was here as we were both working but he decided to run off and didnt pay the rent so im 600 arreas which im trying to pay off. its just a nightmare and i feel bad for saying that being a parent is ment to be a happy time and i just feel miserable and like i cant provide for my son as i should. i almost called social services the other day but the thought of loosing my boy scares me senseless
Is it not possible to be be rehoused or do a house swap. Money is so tight for most single parents. I have a baby under one and some times scraping money together just to buy nappies. I'm sorry your ex did the dirty and it must of been such a knock but you must pick yourself up for your child's sake. Maybe go doctors about how you are feeling, don't be ashamed to go and I'm sure they meet people like yourself all the time. If you carry on living in the past it will eat you alive, a lession I learnt very recently...sending big hugs to u :)
ive been to the doctors and they have given me some tablets but i know that tablets is not what i need . i have made the first steps into speaking to people regarding money management and budgetting and today i feel a little bit more positive. im definatly not hung up on the bad times that me and my ex went thru im more struggling with the day to day things. xx but thankyou xx
I really hope things start getting better for u :( just take each day as it comes and when your starting to get sad take some you time, even if that means going to a room by yourself or putting on some music to lift your spirits. Please keep us posted x
Hi wotsthepoint, thanks for replying. I remember a few times when my daughter was small that I wondered what is the point and I too, actually considered contacting Social Services. However you can get through this.
I guess you can't do a houseswap until the arrears are paid off?
It is good to hear that you are taking some steps to manage your money, good for you. Small steps can reap big rewards. You are at the start of your journey :) Hopefully this will help you feel more empowered around your situation. Money is often tight when we are the only ones bringing in the cash, but we soon learn to budget and we can live a good life with a limited income.
What about friends in your area? Do you spend any time with other mums locally?
Welcome to one space. A great site which has helped me though so much. I'm sorry your not very happy at the moment. Could you give us a insite to what is making you so sad?