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When my ex left, he agreed in writing that I could take our daughter away on holidays as and when I deemed fit.
He's now taking me to court for contact (3 years on) as he failed to maintain appropriate conversations with our daughter in the unsupervised contact centres and after I offered supervised contact centres as an alternative to save our daughter getting upset. He's refused to attend these so hasn't had contact but is taking me to court for contact now.
Anyway, I have booked a holiday before contact ended which I did not mention to him at the time (having had this written agreement and it not falling on a contact weekend) I was going to mention it closer to the time, but obviously currently we are not communicating.
My solicitor is now insisting i get written permission from his solicitior (who is AWFUL, he told my solicitor he hoped i had deep pockets as I'd need it for the court case wtf....). What happens if he denies me permission? How do the court view this? Is it possible for me to take him to small claims court to get the holiday costs back as he is going back on a written agreement?
He has parental responsibility, but obviously holiday is during half term, is a family holiday, I hold daughter's passport etc. This ridiculous absent parent has already cost me £2,000 and I've not even made it to court yet. I don't want to spend more money on emergency applications to take daughter away when he (a) gave me permission, (b) walked away from his daughter (c) went on holiday during a contact weekend previously, (d) has never been denied contact, I just ask for reasonable contact with his daughter who doesn't have her head filled with silly nonsense about me, potential boyfriends, or his girlfriend.
Hi Anna
Thanks for your response. I will speak to the legal expert, thanks for the link.
I have no idea, I even forwarded the permission i have been given by him to my solicitor as proof that I feel I don't need it, but she seems to have dug her feet in on this point.
To be honest, I'm a bit confused, I thought that because I had assumed residency I could take her out for up to 28 days without his permission. That's what my solicitor told me when dad first left (I wanted to seek a residency order and she suggested not to - that there was no benefit at that time).
I sought the permission from him when he left just to ease my mind as he can get nasty and play emotional games and I didn't want to be in the position of booking a holiday/waiting for him to give his permission. This is my first holiday abroad with her since having her and guess what, I'm in a positiion where I only have a couple of weeks to go, and might not be able to go. Arrrgh.
I'm feeling frustrated at the moment, and I'm not sure if the solicitor is trying to look after my best interests (wanting to do everything above board so that we are whiter than white at court) or if she's just trying to earn some more money....
I just want to go on holiday, I've had an awful 3-4 years and I just want to get away for a week and have a relaxing time before the court case.
I would phone up another solicitor, one that women's aid recomended and get thier advice...
Basically I see your solicitor being whiter than white and doing the defence side because he is doing the attacking side.
I would inform him that you are going on holiday, where and for how long. You do not have to ask his permission if it is for less than a month. The only thing I would add to that is if he is going down the unfit mother route and SS are involved and are investigating you then don't go. If nothing like that is happening then no judge in their right mind would stop a child going on holiday with thier parent.
He is going to say that you refused contact... that is going to look bad.. fathers come before children in the main.
You need to show you did not refuse contact, when he did x (in your case inaproaprate conversations, (you need proof of these else it is your word against his)) you did y, (offered a safe alternative for your daughter)
When he refused your offer you did z.
You need to put it in away that you alway did something positive and you have never stopped him having contact, but he has chosen not too.
Again please find a solicitor who is one who is proactive and normally they are ones who women aid use.
Thanks Suneagle for your message, I will speak to another solicitor!
Good idea suneagle, I hope our legal advisor responds soon too. Let us know :)
hi, does it not say on ur residency order that u can take her away for upto a month without permission from anyone? usually says that on a resdiency court order in favour of parent with residency
if it says that then im sure u dont need his [permission but prob best to inform him , send a letter saying uv booked the trip anyway
unless he gets a prohibited steps against you then i dont see how he can stop u from taking her away as long as u bring her back before the month is up
Hi chocolate81 Flapjack does not have a residency order as her solicitor had said she did not need one at the time
Hopefully the legal expert will be able to suggest a way forward 
post from above- ""To be honest, I'm a bit confused, I thought that because I had assumed residency I could take her out for up to 28 days without his permission.""
sorry i thought assumed meant u had it! didnt read ur post properly, how r things now?
hi All.
Well, the advice was that as I don't have residency I do need to get his permission to take child out of the country. We sent a letter off to his side and the response was "we're taking instructions, meanwhile, can you let us know what you are doing with regards to the court application".
Urm, sounds more like more bullying/blackmail tactics to me. One week to go until my holiday and no other response. To say I'm stressed is a complete understatement. I really really need this holiday. 
It just pees me off that he's gone away on daughters contact week, andn only told me the day before that he wouldn't be making contact. What would happen if daughter got sick in that time? Would he tell me where he's going and all the rest of it? I know he's the "father", but honestly, in 5 years he has never played a role. Even when my daughter was critically ill (and we were a couple), he chose to stay at home to catch up on his sleep while my family and i were at her bedside.
I've decided that if he does reject the permission, I'm going to ring him and ask him to explain to our daughter why she can't go on the holiday I promised her with her grandparents and me... it might be petty, but it will certainly make me feel better........
Sorry, one stressed bunny here.....
Aww Flapjack, I can really hear your worry and concern, what a ridiculous response from his solicitor.
There is little reason for him disallowing you to go abroad at this point and if he was to say so, then it would be incredibly petty.
I would put it behind you and look forward to your holiday, the excitement beforehand is all part of the fun.
Hi Anna
Its a natural response from his solicitor! They are both bullies. My solicitor said she's never in all her years had to deal with such a nasty and petty man in a professional situation. She thought i was exaggerating when i said he made me cry when I spoke to him on the phone.
I bought her some swim suits yesterday.. she's so excited, trying to work out how she can take her fish away with us... 
And its her first time on a plane..
Just wish i was there now.. eeek not long to go! Problem with my ex is, he hates the fact that I don't have debt (well, apart from my mortgages)... he has 40k's worth of debt and NOTHING to show from it (gambling, living beyond his means etc...all of which are my fault apparently) so the idea that I'd need to apply for a court application to take her on holiday and pay for it would be heaven for him.
His solicitor told my solicitor he "hoped i had deep pockets". I mean, seriously.. if i need deep pockets, then so does he... although, when in that amount of debt, I suppose another £10k doesn't really matter.....
Sorry, really riled up. Hoping to go shopping tonight to get myself some clothes for the holiday. Haven't been abroad since having her... so have nothing to wear YET....
Hope all the preparations go well, Flapjack.
Hi flapjack, I am not aware of the legalities under these circumstances, so please do email our Legal Expert.
I am wondering why your solicitor thinks that you need to get permission a second time if it is not his contact weekend?