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Hi all,
just as I thought things were going well enough...
No3 son (yes, him again) came home early tonight - not even eight o'clock - which was strange enough. He asked to go on the laptop which was fine, but then he suddenly wanted to make a phonecall and he seemed really anxious about it.
When I finally got to talk to him to ask him what was up, he started crying and said people were after him. He did tell me a wild story about someone smashing up bikes and him and others letting air out of that person's tyres - none of it makes any real sense to me. He says people have said they'll beat him up and if he doesn't come out to 'face it', they'll come to the house and smash in the windows. Those people (according to no3 son) don't really have anything to do with the earlier situation (of bikes and tyres), but someone else has told them about it - probably via the wretched facebook.
I was supposed to go out tonight, but of course didn't - No3 son was really really scared (and still is). He wanted me to go as he said he didn't want me to see any of this. He went round the house, locking doors and turning off lights to the front. I told him nobody would come to the house and he'd be quite safe here, but he is still scared. (nobody has come to the house btw). I also said, if someone had really threatened him, we should call the police, but he said that would make it worse.
What can I do? How do I protect him from this?
Incidentally, while he was on the phone he left his facebook open, and it had a conversation going of him and the 'bad' friend who was talking a lot about having a 'five' and smoking it (I take it that's the latest word for a joint? Anyone?), so this worry is renewed, too. No3 son has said recently he's seen what drunks and druggies are like and he doesn't want to be like that and therefore he's not doing drugs, but I am not sure. I am so worried for him!
:-(
Any ideas welcome, as usual.... x
Hi Hopeful
I really don't known what to say on this one. The first, and positive thing to say is that your son seems to know his own mind as far as drinking and drugs are concerned. Teens talk a lot about how they are going to get some X, Y or Z and most of it is just made up. All you can do at this stage is to keep your eye on his health and see if he shows any signs of having taken anytning,
As for the gang culture, that is very worrying I agree and I feel you did the right thing in saying any singificant trouble and you call the police.You ask how you can protect him from this, and the answer is that you can't. Have a quiet word at the school and just ask them to keep an eye, it may well all die down but the police are the answer if it escalates or continues. At this stage it sounds as if it is not too well established and some words from the police might do wonders, Have you got a community policeman?
Yes, but he says they keep stopping him and asking him stuff (God knows what he's up to) and he doesn't like them.
I'm off to work now and am dreading coming home again already. :-(
Will speak to the school though.
Oh no. I'm afraid I've no idea what to suggest Hopeful. Louise suggests a community policeman, which is such a good idea. The community support officer in my area has been really good.
I hope the school can come up with some ideas too.
No3 son refused to go to school on Friday. I rang the manager of the unit and she knew all about the incident! Her suggestion was the same as mine - apologise to the injured party and move on. My son says he has apologised and I shouldn't worry or be sad (his words) and it's 'sorted'.
A bit worried what that means!
He's calming down, but came home early from school today because 'everybody keeps asking him about it'.
Big sigh ...
Hi Hopeful, I hope that things really have calmed down for him. As a parent supporting a teen involved in gang crime, it can be a very traumatic time, trust is broken and you can feel at a loss. However there are some brilliant resources out there to support you and son3.
Have a look at Gangs and Gang Crime - Advice for Parents, there are some downloadable resources on there.
Your son might be interested in having 1-2-1 live chat with someone on Childline. Watch this insightful video on gangs
Thanks Anna! Will check this out tomorrow! x
He is refusing to go to school today. This is a very very first. :-(
He says he'll do his BTec (I don't really believe him, but hey).
I'll ring the school and talk to the manager of the unit; really don't know what to do!