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I have been separated for 18 months and live alone and look after my son aged 8 and daughter aged 13. My ex husband lives locally and has the children every other weekend. He has had several relationships since we split, i have only had one and recent events have led me to needing advice.
I have been with my partner for about year and have ensured introducing him to my children was taken gently, occasional days out and tea. He never sleeps over and i have always put the children first. i researched sites to see how best to introduce a new partner and followed the 'taking it slowly and gently' process.
My ex has met a woman (8 weeks ago) and already introduced the children and after meeting her only twice took them away for a weeks holiday, all together with her two children too. Initially my daughter was not wanting to go but her dad persuaded her. The children have returned home today, and my son has been very angry towards me and about my realtionship with a man he has known for a year, he doesn't want me to be and would rather i was alone. But he is happy for his daddy to have a new lady and be happy, I have worked so hard to protect them and take things gently for them that i am totally shockec with my ex's rushing in with his relationship and the children accept it?...........i am at a loss and very upset by my son's rejection of me and unsure on how to help him through this situation. Any advice??
thank you for the reply.....................
He gets on well with my partner and althoug i've not met the new lady, he gets on well with her and her children. he has always been guarded with me and my partner but it has become worse since the introduction of the new woman my ex is with. he seems very confused as i cant imagin he really doesn't want to see his mum happy.
i will await other replies as you have advised.
Thank you for making me feel welcome and i hope this forum will give me some help
x
Sons can be extremely protective of their mums, lovely at times but does also cause upsets doesnt it, I am sure he wants you to be happy, difficult age 8 though isnt it, my son is just 10 and he is very protective of me in his own way. I would maybe make some special time for you and your son to go out for a few hours and talk but also have some fun, there is no doubt something that your son enjoys doing that you could do together.
This is a wonderful site and you will receive lots of support xxx
Hi
I'm sorry that things are so upsetting at the mo.
My lot's father was very quick to introduce his girlfriend's to the children. I was always positive with them and they never had a problem with them - he got engaged three times within four years, and married the third...
I'm guessing you've been positive with your children and they have found it easy to accept their father's new relationship. Also, seeing him every weekend, in 'his' home makes it easier to accept. In a way, it doesn't affect their lives. Their home is with you. They are possibly used to having you to themselves, and, your boyfriend, in a way, is coming on to 'their' and into 'their' home.
Your son is still young too, and as awful as it is to say, you can never be quite sure what the 'other' parent is saying... How is your daughter feeling about things?
I have had one relationship since splitting up and was lucky in that the children got on well with him. The relationship did end - although he does still call in to see the children.
I'm sorry that I don't know what to suggest here. Sometimes not pushing for a solution, but somehow giving the child space to express how they feel can sometimes mean you end up having a chat where things can be sorted (sorry, terrible explanation). I've found with my lot that when they get things sorted in their heads, they can be ready to discuss it, just somehow giving them time to get to that stage seems to lead to a calmer chat.
I really hope things do get calmer and things can be sorted.
Hello Charlottea
Welcome to One Space. Hope you feel at home here and will join in the site wherever you like.
How annoying and puzzling your son's outburst must have been, when you have done everything the "right" way and his dad has just blundered along, seemingly with less regard for the children's feelings....and yet it is you that gets the grief. He is doing this because he feels SAFE with you, he obviously feels like this (only more so) about his dad but dare not say it to him. His secret wish will have been that his mum and dad get back together again and if you both have new partners this makes it unlikely to happen. You know that thing as an adult where your boss might be dreadful to you all day, and so you go home and snap at the family, or kick the cat? It is the same thing (tho not recommending cruelty to cats here 
)
Having said that, it is all very well understanding where he is coming from but what do you do about it? I suggest you IGNORE as much as possible, praise him for anything you can praise him for, from being good company to helping you in the house. Make him feel really appreciated. Tiredmum has suggested some special time with him. When the time is right, during or after that special time. say something like "It is lovely to spend time with you. I know it is hard for you to see your mum and dad get new partners but I just want to tell you that you and your sister are the most important thing in my life and you always will be, I love you so much" If you get any backchat about well if you loved us you would not have a boyfriend etc you can say " Grown ups are entitled to choose who they want to be with so I do still want to keep my boyfriend (X) but I still love you and your sister best in all the world"
Be patient and he will settle down to the idea, we are always here to support you so do keep posting
Thank you for those who have replied...............some good theories to think about and i will try them............what a great site...........and so good to know others are out there to offer advice and support on situations they have experienced.......hopefully i may be able to give some of mine to others.
Thank you so much, greatly appreciated
x x x
Hi Charlottea. Welcome along from me too. Glad you are finding the site supportive. Have you managed to have a look around yet. There is a great chat room too, where we just share day to day stuff. xx
Hello again Charlottea.
Glad you have found it helpful. Here is a link to the Chat section
Hi Charlottea, welcome to one space
I think you have done everything right in the way that you have taken things slowly.
Does your son get along with his dad and his new partner? Does he get along with your new partner? Where things fine before this new partner of your ex`s came into the picture?
Could it be that just maybe your son is venting his feelings on dads new relationship on you as you are there, it can happen with children that they have to say something but dont always express their feelings clearly or direct them at the right person.
Other will be along too to offer support and advice, if not tonight then tomorrow so please stay with one space, it is a great site and really friendly xxx