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My child has recently started to hit bad, juyst lash out and go mad. He may for example, if i ask him to do his teeth ready for school, slowly attempt to do them, thenj he wil grizzle, and then when i say somthing like 'come on, it rerally is time to go to school now', he will hit me, or pull hard on my clothes.
There are a few things that are bugging him right now, as he has told me, such as the dark, missing me - he's scared im going to go off without him - hes recently started sleeping in my bed as hes scared im going to go and leave him ..... I dont know where this has come from.
In the past, we've talked about the dark and hes been absolutely fine and happy about it.
Anyway, iv'e lost my cool this morning, ive shouted back and i feel awful,. This cannot go on and i need advice. I feel im trying to win a losing battle, as hes only 4. As my mother has pointed out, my child may not know what the problem is.....
Hi pink lilly, don't beat yourself up about losing your cool, i think it happens to the best of us from time to time.
I not sure that at his age you could get him to put his finger on exactly what is causing the behaviour, if he has said that he is scared of the dark/you leaving etc you should probably just go with that information for now and try to settle his fears in these areas and see if there is an improvement in behaviour, at least then you have eliminated those as being the problem.
It could be that he has had a bad dream that has set of these fears, i have in the past had similair issues with my youngest.
You could try and ask what it is that they are scared of about the dark, for example monsters under the bed in cupboard, bad dreams, noises, the dark its self.
Depending on the response depends how you deal with it. You could try a night light, let us now what you findout and we can offer some suggestions that might help.
As for you leaving him bubblegum is right that will take lot's of love and reasurrance that your not going to leave him.
Hello pink lilly
We have all done the shouting thing, we get to end of our tether and it all comes spilling out. The getting ready in the morning is a stressful time for everyone. Make sure you have everything laid out the night before, and I would suggest a star chart for your son. He wins a star every morning that he gets ready nicely and on time. When he doesn't, don't be cross, be really offhand and say something like "Oh dear, no star today, never mind another chance tomorrow" and give him a cuddle.
If he is feeling a bit scared and unsettled his sleep may well be affected and a tired child is a grizzly child so try to make some extra allowances during this time. The others have suggested some great things about this issue so I won't repeat them, let us know how you get on 
Hi all,
i so far, have set out 'treats' for when he gets home from visiting dad and his family. Since i have done this, things have stayed slightly more calm and he is more calm too. Still elements of hitting etc, but not as bad.
Thanks for advice.
oh - these treats are playing a game, or a nice yoghurt, or a nice story etc.
That sounds lovely pink lilly. So he knows that there will be something pleasant to look forward to.
I'm glad you stated what kind of treats as my initial reaction was sweeties going from your front gate into the house!! A bit like Hansel and Gretel!! 
Your child's lashing out may just be his way of dealing with emotions he doesn't understand. Try not to get angry back is all I can think of to say.
With suddenly developing issues with the dark, that may just be a sign that his imagination is developing, which is kind of a good thing really.
All in all though children around four aren't going to prosess their world and respond in a rational grown up manner or elequently articulate exactly what is wrong... and lashing out is something they might do instead :)
Lots of cuddles and attention always worked and still does with mine :)