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Hi all,
Not been on for ages but have recently become aware of something and need some advice. Its a bit embarrassing...
My sister has advised me that my little girl (age 9) has confided in her that she heard some noises one night and got out of bed and opened door to my room where I was with my boyf..... Ill let you guess what she saw, but we didnt see her.
She has told my sister it has upset her. I tried to talk to her about it but she wont and says she is angry with me and my boyf (who she very close to) and it made her feel upset.
Im worried I have scarred her for life!! I have no idea what she actually saw as i dont know how long ago this was but she confided in my sister recently.
Any advice on how to tackle this conversation with her...?!
This depends on what she's seen ... If it's intercourse then I'd say it's cuddles you love each other it's grown up kisses and hugs and take it from there depending on where she leads it If she's seen something else then it may be more tricky tbh,id still go done the love efection line keep it simple and as age appropriate as you can without going into detail. It's not easy but try not to stress about it try to focus on it's natural in two years she will start to lern in school about this X
Hi littleangel,
I agree with the above, that she's old enough to withstand this accidental exposure without any lasting affects. After all, what was happening between you and your boyfriend is what happens between any loving couple.
As Imdoingthis says, she will be having sex ed. lessons in school before long and there is a good chance she may have already heard 'things being said' in the playground; I have to say, that is where I heard the facts of life.
If you have tried to talk to her and she doesn't want to interact, you could always buy a book on this subject and leave her lying around for her to find. If you feel it might be a bit early for this sort of tactic then fair enough - children mature at different rates. I'm already considering 'the conversation' with A, who is 9 (and yes, I have left a book in her wardrobe - 'Sex Ed; Growing Up, Relationships and Sex' by Dr Miriam Stoppard).
Incidentally, you're not alone. A friend of mine was ,ahem, entertaining recently and didn't quite stifle a squeal of pleasure. Her son piped up from the next room 'Stop hurting my mum!'. Apologies and red faces at breakfast in their household that morning 
Hi little angel, great to see you back again, albeit red faced! Don't feel too bad about it, it sounds as though you have tried to talk to her about it, but right now she doesn't want to hear it.
Don't allow it to change how you talk to her or how your other half communicates with her. Do you know what your sister said to her? I was wondering whether your sister could say to little angel that you want to talk to her about it?
Thanks for all the advice guys!
Well I did manage to speak to her (in writing only she would not speak face to face) as her behaviour was getting out of hand towards me and boyf.
I had previously given her the birds and the bees talk but my description was a lot more romantic than the reality! Angel said she was angry at me and didnt realise I was like that. She kept saying I was disgusting etc. (for the record we were not doing anything bizarre!)
I explained to her that it was unfortunate what she saw but we werent doing anything wrong. I explained she can speak to me about it any time but the name calling etc. has to stop.
So far she has been better behaved so fingers crossed.
Lets face it even as adults we wouldn't like to walk in on that!! She'll be fine. They're very resilliant
Part of me is wondering if Angel resents your boyfriend & you having time together that she's not part of, littleangel. I know that sometimes when it has just been a parent and child family unit and another adult comes onto the scene there can be some jealousy.
With Angel saying she was 'angry' with you perhaps this is her way of saying she misses the time when it was just you and her, only she is struggling to articulate that.
I could be wrong - just a thought! And SA is right - children are very resilient
Got to be honest I suppose, she may not like it but i happens when people love eachother. I think at 9 she probably knows what she saw but it's a matter of coming to terms . Think she'll be ok