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I feel really bad and know I should never have done it. There are no excuses. I am recently separated and find I have no support when my 8 yr old doesn't do what I ask. Usually we shout at each other. Not a lot. This time though they were kicking me and I kicked back. Stupid I know and really bad. The ex took them to the Dr who said they had a duty to report. I understand that. Now he says they have to stay with him until Social Services do an assessment. How long will that be? They are such a massive part of my life I am not coping with the idea of not having them stop at mine and only see them sparodically and when I see them does my ex have to be there. I don't deserve sympathy but would like some advice about what I should do. I have investigated some parenting courses and will ring to make an appointment on Monday morning. I want to learn some new skills so it never happens again.
thanks heaps for your comments. the GP is a clinic so you see a diff dr each time. Good idea about talking to the GP. I hate when bad stuff happens in the weekend and you can't do anything until Monday. Means lots of sitting around feeling awful and imagining the worst.
I know you're probably fearing the worst, but it's Monday tomorrow, so hopefully, you can make some calls, and see what's what. How long have you been seperated from ex?
Hi again. Sorry, just reading your first post again, and was wondering how you know for sure that your ex took the children to the Drs. Did you call the GP, or have you just taken his word on it. Have you been able to speak to the children since he's had them?
Hi samiam
I agree with hazeleyes about it being necessary for your son to remain with his father at this time. You haven't been contacted to be told this by the GP or by the social services.
How many children do you have? How old are they?
Parenting courses can be so helpful. I went on one a few years back, and it really was good.
I hope you're able to find out more today and feel that things can be sorted.
Hello samiam
Welcome along.
I, too, am a bit confused by this. Your child's father took your child to the GP. Was there an injury resulting from the incident that the doctor could see? If so then the authorities will take that seriously and want to check that it is not part of a pattern. I am guessing, though, that there was no mark. So.....the GP might have asked your child what had gone on, that's all. Unless there really was evidence of an injury, then there is no need for the child to stay with him. Social services would be in touch pretty quickly if they thought there was a risk.
The others have suggested you phone the GP. I am not sure you will get any information from them. My own feeling would be that you need some legal advice about getting your child back. Were you married to the father? Was a legal document passed by the court stating that the child would normally live with you?
I don't know what your financial position is but most solicitors will give the first thirty minutes advice free. Find a family lawyer here, or you can contact your local Citizen's Advice Bureau to see what legal advisers they have on board, as this will be free to all, although probably a waiting time for an appointment.
You mentioned parenting courses, that is something that would help all parents, and certainly if your child is getting difficult then it would be great for you to go on one and also meet other parents. It sounds as if you are already on the ball with that one......and let's face it, if you do get a call from Social Services it also demonstrates that you are willing and ready to make positive changes.
Hope this helps!
thanks so much for your advice. I am making calls today and trying to find out what I should do. Yes there was a mark. I wondered also whether to believe my ex but I think he is telling the truth. I rang Parentsline in the weekend who were brilliant and gave me the number of the Parent's Rights Group who can help me know what my rights are. I am just waiting for them to open so I can ring them. I will see my child tonight briefly but he will be there as well. He is not letting me see or have them on my own.
Hi samiam. That's good that you rang Parentline, and they have given you another number. I do hope you get some reassurance from them. Please let us know how you get on. Take care. xx
That's good that you have that number. For anyone else reading this, here are the details of a Family Rights Group.
If there was a mark then yes the doctor would have had to report that as it is against the law. However, I still wonder why your child's father is reacting like this if the incident is a one-off, I wonder if he has been waiting in the wings for you to make a slip-up?
Let us know how you get on.
Hiya
have called Social Services and waiting for them to call me back. Yr right he has been waiting in the wings for something like this to happen. I have booked a parenting course that I found on the internet. Spoke to the woman and she sounds great. I want to do this for myself so I can learn some coping skills but I also want to be proactive and show that I am very sorry and want to be responsible for my actions and do something about it not ever happening again. Thanks for your support.
Yes, exactly, the parenting course is a great idea.
I know that we have a firm anti-smacking policy here at One Space and also I am aware of what the law says but the fact is that a single minor incident can happen to anyone!
Hello samiam. Did the Social Services get back to you? I do hope so, and you're not having to wait around any longer than need be. How did your visit with the children go?
hi yes social services visited my ex and child today and will see me on wed morning. they suggested i get a solicitor. hope i don't have to go down that track. hopefully if report comes back ok ex will let me have child overnight. visit was good. short but so nice to see them. thanks for all your advice people it is so much appreciated.
I'm so pleased that you got to visit, even though you say it was a short one. It's good too that you rang the Social Services rather than wait for them to contact you. Keep us updated on their visit on Wednesday. Do try the links that Louise posted to you. Scroll back and you will see them. Solicitors and Citizens Advice Bureau.
Hope it goes well tomorrow samiam. They can see all you've done to address things.
Hi samiam, thank you for coming onto One Space and being honest enough
to share your story and what is going on for you.
How did the meeting with the social services go this morning? Do yo ufeel more knowledgeable about the situation now?
hiya
good news my gorgeous child is home with me tonight and we can go back to the arrangements of them staying half at mine half at my ex. interview with SS was really full on. felt so anxious and worried. was at their offices which made me feel really uncomfortable and unrelaxed. good result though. they are still involved. they have to do a home visit and think they will do some follow up stuff. parenting course starts friday morning but feel i am on the track to doing something about what happened. so pleased to have home life to returned to some normality after full on turbulent days. thanks so much people for your advice and not judging me harshly.
Glad you have got through this samiam and have your child back with you, it is now important (from Social Services point of view) that they see you doing the course and co-operating with the Family Support worker.
You are welcome here anytime you want support, or to chat or just to share news about your day, you have seen the friendly welcome you have already received!
I`m glad all has worked out fine for you, no one can be the perfect parent and we all learn as we go along.
You sound like a nice person and i`m wondering why you ex didn`t simply talk this through with you rather than getting SS involved, maybe he is trying to cause problems, i`m sure you will find the parenting course a great benefit.
Good luck
Hi
Glad things are sort of getting there.
My very best wishes.
Hi samiam. Fab news that your child is back with you for half the time. I'm sure the SS meeting was uncomfortable for you, but you did it, and now they can help you. Keep posting, as we're all here for you.
Brilliant news samiam! 
Your honesty and willingness to overcome difficulties has shown that you are a good parent.
The parenting programme will be really useful, hopefully for supporting you with discipline techniques, meeting new people and also realising there is no perfect parent, we are all striving, ALL the time to be the best that we can be. Best of luck with it.
If you learn some good techniques, please come online and share them with us, what works and what doesn't. And also if you want support from us to stick to some boundaries and techniques. I have found that most of the time dealing with our children is patience and persistance and it is hard to have this at the best of times.
We are here for you! 
Hi samiam. Welcome along. Okay, you lost your temper, and lashed out, you know it was wrong. Sounds like it was the very first time too, and you deeply regret it. I'm not totally sure on this one, regarding ex having them stay with him until social services do an assessment. Have you spoken to your GP? I'm assuming it is the same one as your children. How long has the GP known you? It might be worth seeing him/her, explain exactly what happened, and hopefully, they will write a letter or something explaining how out of character this is for you.
I'm sorry I'm not much help, but please keep posting as others should be along later, if not tomorrow. Take care. xx