so i'm 20 and my girlfriend is 19 and we've just had our first baby.
but since he was born she seams to have post-natel dipresion.
she cryed at random times and snaps at me for no reason.
she vilent. she hits me and she has since b4 out son was born, :(
if she's in the mood for "loving" and i dont provide then i get punched and kicking in the lower back wile laying in bed.
and this makes me not want to get in the "loving" mood at all because its just remind me of her hitting me.
she seems to do it to get a reacation but because of 2 ocations and a new ocation she cant trust me and this gets her mad and that leds to violence.
1st thing she dint like that i did was when we were "on a brake" only 6-8 months into out relationship i did somthing sexual with a nother woman.I(not sex)
2nd one night when i got drunk at a male friends house a friend of mine was having loud sex in the next room and masturbated to the sound of the girl because she was so loud.
3rd i till her i hate my ex to make my gf feel safe with me but realy i dont hate my ex. were just friends. but i cunt tell her that she would flip. but she found out and this means now she dunt trust me.
so now i cant even watch TV with girls on without her getting mad at me or saying somthing to try and get a recaion out of me
what should i do?
Hi 5thstreet2009,
Sorry to read about your situation. As Anna says, you sound like you are being abused and you need some help to get out of this. There is an organisation specifically for men in violent relationships called Mankind.org maybe have a look at their site or any of the links Anna gave you.
I wish you luck, you dont deserve this treatment so please seek help x
she dunt liek talking to doctors and dunt belive in medication.
but she sead she would start going to the doctors and see if its baby blues or what ever..
i dont know what to do because we live together and everything.
i need some help.
thing have changed now and my gf dunt get phisical no more..
i dont now how or why but the way to do it is to be in public when she gets mad or sad.
so now i dont know what to do because im in the rong now.
Hi 5thstreet2009,
I am sorry to hear about what you have been experiencing, why do you feel that you are in the wrong? Is it because you have sought help or because her behaviour has changed? Is it easier to handle her behaviour when your in public because she moderates her behaviour?
You have still experienced abusive behaviour and you will need to get some support, even if you feel her current behaviour is not abusive, have you contacted any of the numbers that Anna posted for you.
Dear 5thstreet2009, you sound as though you feel controlled by someone else and that is not healthy for you.
You need to get some professional support to get through this time. Please call one of the numbers below to have a chat:
Emotional support and practical information for men suffering abuse - Helpline - 01823 334 244 (Open Mon - Fri 10am - 4pm & 7pm - 9pm)
Offers advice and support for men in abusive relationships - Helpline - 0808 801 0327 (Monday - Friday 10am-1pm and 2pm-5pm)
Has your girlfriend made an appointment with her doctor? Would you be able to go with her? Would you consider talking to your doctor about what is going on with you at home?
we just moved house 2 months back and were moving doctors to but we both keep forgeting to go to the doctors and then put it off for a phu days..
my gf is scerd that she will get out baby boy taken away so dunt want to go
Hi 5thstreet2009
I know lots of people feel scared to ask for help because they worry about the baby being taken away. Are you working yourself? Are you able to help look after the baby?
How do you feel about calling one of the numbers Anna has suggested?
Hi there 5thstreet2009 and welcome to One Space.
Firstly congratulations on the birth of your baby!
I am sorry to read what you have written, it sounds as though this is a really stressful time for you both and this of course will be having some impact on your baby.
You say that your partner has been violent before the baby was born? There is no good reason nor is it acceptable to physically abuse another person. Yes she may feel angry or jealous about the things that you have done, but that does not give her the right to lash out. It has a massive impact on your mental health and you are probably finding that you are very careful about what you are saying to her (ie: about your ex)
When women have post natal depression, they tend to lose their sex drive, rather than initiated intimacy, however that is not to say that she isn't feeling very unhappy. Does she talk to the health visitor about how she is feeling?
What you are experiencing is abuse and it would be good for you to talk to someone to help you work through this. Have a look at this page of Fathers Links, there are some organisations at the bottom of the page that provide helplines for males survivors.
It is a really hard for anyone to admit to themselves let alone anyone else, that their partner is being violent, however you are being honest here and you know it is time to do something about it.
Please contact at least one of the organisations and let us know how it goes. Do you have a good relationship with your parents or siblings, who you can talk to as well?