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My ex husband is finally moving out and im worried about how i am going to cope with money, child care, Tax credit benefits for child care, csa,etc.
My ex too my son to school and picked him up from school whilst i was at school and will be no longer despite him not working. whilst i am happy that things are moving on its just a minefield and my head is a shed at the moment.
I have a supportive new partner but he does not live with me and works full time.
I am worried how i will cope.
Hi Mercedes, just wanted to send you a hug, this is a really hard time.
Do you know why your ex can't pick up your son from school if he's not working? Is that a practical thing or an emotional one? Ie, is he involved with anyone and/ or is he angry about your relationship? Can you talk to him about it or is that just create more problems?
My ex finally moved the bulk of his stuff out just a month ago, after over two years of separation - he used to stay with us a lot, despite starting another relationship six months ago. While it was my idea that he 'move on' (out!), it can still be hard for me to organise the practical sides of looking after our seven-year-old, and I lose sleep worrying how we'll manage financially as I can't do as much paid work as much as I'd like to.
My ex is actually very pro-active with childcare and sharing bills and rent, and I know I'm lucky in that respect - but I also know it's only a matter of time before his new relationship becomes much more of a priority, and could even involve new children for him. All quite normal, of course, but hard to manage on both sides.
Well, maybe no help - good luck and look after yourself.
Lucy
Hi Mercedes
You will cope, we all do, it might be a struggle, everything is up in the air at the moment, but it will all fall into place.
I love how you describe that your head is a shed, I have never heard that before and I think it explains the feeling well!
Take your time, there is no rush, find out from our Money Expert what you are entitled to and get that sorted first and foremost. It is a good idea to keep copies of any Tax Credit forms that you fill out. Have a look at our article on Tax Credits for further info.
It sounds as though you are relieved that finally this is all coming to an end and if it is appropriate, then Congratulations on the divorce.
How are your children?
hi mercedes i was like you worried i even panicked lost sleep but i was told try not to look ahead look at each day at a time and take little steps . once i knew what i got to pay out and what i had coming in i worked a budget out and i do try to stick to that shopping is the bug as i tryt o stay within £70 but thats hard . when the new yr starts i will budget for xmas as with my ex leaving i never thought of xmas so i try to get afew things when i can. people understand i cant do what i would normally do so i have cut down even the kids have been cut down . so far i have managed to keep the boys things going on like swimming , . use the links on here they are helpful
Hello Mercedes
It is natural to be worried. The first thing to do is to sort the practicalities.Film in the form for our Money Expert and find out about your financial situation. Give them as much info as possible so they can give you the most effective help