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hello i am a mother of a 18mth old baby boy, my son was taken into care in febuary from a so called friends house. i have never harmed my baby. but their was domestic violence from my ex partner, whom i left when my son was a few weeks old, however my ex and myself were still in contact as we lived oppersite each other. i have been fighting to get my son back, and now social services say they plan to adopt my son. i have done domestic violence courses, moved away from the area, changed my number , all and more what social services have suggested , but still not enough. can any one help please my heart is broken in two. any advice would be appriciated.
hi is it cos ur stil in contact with ur ex, i got told im 1 step fromm care procedings if i av anythin to do with my ex, so i avnt, wre u told to av nothin to do with ur ex, cos if u was and u stil avin contact ss are strict on this u c,they wil see it as ur are failin to protect ur child, so if u wont they will, ope u are ok hun,x
Hi Kiera
No i am not in contact with my ex. however when my son was taken into foster care, their was incidents where my ex hit me in front of my child. as i had let him see my son. i did go back to him a few times before that. since my child has been taken into care in feb. i have moved towns and attended domestic viloence course, have just started couselling, i have been without my son for 8 months, ut it seems that social srvices will never return him to me. i am fighting and wondered if you have any advice. i never want to see my ex as he has cost me my darling son, who is the innocent one in all this mess
debs x
Hi debs, have you contacted Family Rights Group for some further advice? 0808 801 0366
What did they say?
hi hun i do really feel for u, not heard from ss thank god, ive bin told off cafcass my kids are at risk if i av anythin to do with ex again, hes not allowed contact with my little girl, at all, court order,cant imagine wot ur goin thru hun, wots appenin now then with ss, i av to do parents information course on domestic violence, ive dun freedom programme and doin one to one thru wavex
Hi anna
Thank you for your comment. I have not yet rang, but i will this week. i have have had a hetic week with court, meeting and trying to secure a home. its a nightmare. hope you are ok
debs
Hi
Thanks for reply.good ss are off your back. ss will take action if you have anything to do with your ex hun, take it from my expereience. dont risk your kids. or you will end up where i am. i have completed the freedom programme,onyx, and am now doing a parenting programme called safe guarding communities and strenthing families at a place called steeping stone, who have been so supportive, think imay have cracked up without their support. my situation now is i went to court last friday as ss wanted to cut my contact days. thank god they did not win, the court saw through them. the court praised me on all the positivce work i have done. i am curreently in couselling as it was reccommended from a physcologial assessment, although i do not feel this a reason not to return my son. My next court hearing is in january for the issues resolution hearing, and then the final hearing is is april. way too long, the reason for this is a previous judge has listed the final hearing to be with him, i have looked into the legislation on family justiice, and a new admendment was addaed in febuary 2012, which states that a maxium limit of 26 weeks would ebstablish the timetable for completing court [proceedings, i have worked it out that by next april it would be 58 weeks, which is going agaist law, so currently looking into this. it seems unfair for my son and myself. i have not had anything to do with my ex since my son was taken into care, and i never wish too. i have a looked after childrens review next month to determine what plans the local authroity have for my son. But i have become so strong and i will get my son back. ss have no reasons, except they are now using i need to find a home, which iam am trying to secure, as i have my own flat but i can not return as it is oppersite my ex, ss dont seem to want to help me. i will phone family righton monday. you stay strong and dont give ss any resons to take your kids, stay away from ex.
take care x
sorry for late reply but not been online
Hello deborah boxley and thanks for updating us on what is going on for you right now.
I must just mention that I have taken your email address out as our rules do not permit sharing of contact details, sorry.
The Family Rights Group sounds like a good place to start when you are thinking about the time limits for a case being heard. You're right though, you ARE strong and high five to you for all the brilliant positive steps you are taking. Good luck with your search for a new place to live, you could email our Housing Expert (click) for some ideas?
Thanks louise for your reply. sorry didnt know re email address. i have emailed the housing ezpects and await reply, thanks. i will phone the family rights group tomorrow. I am finding this site very useful and imformative. I never imagined what a fight it would be to get my son back. It seems ss do not want to try and renite my son back into my care, and i fear forced adoption. I will fight and get my son home with me. Its hard to stay stong when ss are so negative to all the work i have done. i have told by my social worker the wa they work is to only bring out negatives, but such negatives are silly things, such as they say on a few occassions i have said "no: to my son, but then have given in, what they fail to realise is i am in a false setting in a contact centre, and its no a case of saying no, then allowing, but more a case of being in tune with my son and realing what he wants, also my son touched the cooker which was not on in the contact room, the contact room is small and their is not safty gate to the kitchen area which is all in one room, they say i have allowed my son in a dangerous situation, my answer is the room is small and at home the cooker would not be in the same room, i would have appriprate safty gates, also no plugs covers on sockets. when i have brought this up with the contact centre, i have been accussed of being "confintational" you cant win, they have power which they use to their advangtage and seem to get away withj it. i now have a advocate, who can voice my concerns and attend meetings, as often what is written in notes is not what i have said or meant. Once my son is returned i plan to work with organisations to stop ss getting away with this and support geniune parents that seek the return of their children. Can i reccommend to other users that they get support from organisations such as stepping stones, where i attend, or similar organisations who will support you and write reports for the court also liase wirh ss to try and see what their issues are on the parents behalf. these organisations really are for parents and only say with your agrremnet what needs to be said.
i will keep you updated
debs
Hi db, it sounds as though you are coping really very well, you have a lot on your plate, but you are fighting it well and taking all the right action.
It is great that you have an advocate, I am presuming this will be a great help. You have learnt a lot about the system and will be in the perfect situation to help others who are experiencing what you are going through.
I look forward to your updates. 
thanks Anna.
Yes i am strong, i think, although it does seem hard to be some days. But on them days i think of my son, and how i have already lost over 8 months of his life, and that determination keeps me going not to loose any more time with him. I ask my son where is mummy the other day and he pointed to me, gave me confidence that he knows who mummy is, as i feared he may think of his foster carer as mummy. i will of course keep you updated.
to all parents out their keep fighting for the return of your children, they need you to be strong and fight for them. when days are difficult remember your love for them.
debs
hi debs i do really feel for u, when i got told im 1 step from care procedings i got so scared, and my kids at risk if i av anythin to do with my violemt ex, i only foundn out in court in july he as violent past and secret life i new nothin bout, was awful i hate him now, hes not allowed contact at the mo next court hearin is november, how are u doin hun, xx
Hi db, yes he does know who his mummy is, that must have been very heart warming.
That's lovely db. Sending loads of virtual strength your way.
hiya debs how are u hun, thinkin of u, xx
Hi kiera
How are you. Mysituation has got worse. Social worker has gone for adoption. I was unaware of this until i received a letter last Saturday from adoption panel. It does not seem right as i have done all local authrioty have asked. The only reason i can come up with is me and social worker do not get on. I have a meeting this friday to look at the permancecy. Repoer and the reasons why tthey have chosen adoption. Although this has not gone to court. Its still really scary. I can't sleep through worry.
Debbie
Hello debs, I do hope you can get some reasons for what is going on. it seems very strange to me that you have done everything they asked and they are still being obstructive. What did the Family Rights Group say when you phoned them? Do you think you need to phone them again?
hi hun aw debbie im so sorry and u av dun everythin possible to do everythin tht ss av asked ,i dont understand it, aw hun i really feel for u, xxxx
Hi will be phoning family rights tomorrow. I am never giving up. I have contacted my local mp.have a meeting on 27th November a lac review. They can't and won't get away with this. Thanks will keep you all updated.
Deb
X
Is any one else going through my situation. Social services trying to force adoption.
aw ope sum1 replys who is goin thru same as u, as least they can relate to u, but u never giv up hun, not ryt at all is itxx
hi debs how are u today, really do ope u are ok, i am thinkin of uxx
Hello debs sorry to hear what your going through, i think the only people that can help with this are your legal representatives, have you given The Family Rights Group a call?
Do you have a support worker?
Thankyou x
Thankyou x
Thankyou. My advocate is great. He suggested i may need to change solicitor. As mine only works less than part timee and doesnt always get back to me. X
Thankyou. My advocate is great. He suggested i may need to change solicitor. As mine only works less than part timee and doesnt always get back to me. X
hi debs how are u hun thinkin of u, xxx
Hi kiera
I am trying to be strong. My next hearing in courI'd January its the issues resolution hearing. Where they will state maybe if my baby can come back i pray he does. My life is nothing without him. Thinking of changing solicitors. As mine doesnt get back to me often as she works less than part time. Don't know what to do. Its a gamble but my heart days changr. See my baby tomorrow can't wait i live for my visits . How are you x i
hi debs im ok got cafcass cumin today at 1, i feel ok tho, aw really o no contact with ex so it all gudpe u get ur baby bk i really do,i cant imagine wot ur feelin, even when cafcass said im 1 step from care procedings i felt sick, ope ur ok hunx
aw bet u cant wait see ur baby today, is it at contact centrex
hi debs how are u today ope ur ok, thinkin of uxx
HI DEBS HOW THINGS GOING AS I AM GOING THORUGH WHAT U ARE NOW BEEN IN COURT 78 TIME WITH 2YEARS AND LONDON I CHANGE I GOT MY OWN SUPPORT GROUP GOING NOW AND IT BE NICE TO CHAT TO U SEE HOW THING ARE OK HOPE THING ARE OK
TONI
HI DEBS, I HOW ARE THINGS GOING ?? I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING SS FOR OVER 3 YEARS AND AM HERE IF YOU NEED ANY ADVICE HUN X
Forced adoption happened with my first child.
My names leigha I am 19. And a simular thing has happened to me. I gave my first child up last year due to a resisential assesment being far to stressful. The staff were always getting in my face and telling me what to do with my child and saying I was emotionally detached. The only way to keep my son was to stay in that stressfull assessment I couldn't because it was having an imput on my child I did what I thought was best. I recently had another child in january 2013 it went to child protection. They put my child underneglect and wanted to give me a chance with going home with my baby. It went to legal planning they agreed foster placement for us both. Then in december when I was 38 weeks social ring me up and tell me to go into see them about my child. And they said they want removal at birth it was never the plan for me to keep my baby. They got what they wanted and now want adoption because of a reason why I was fostered. There is no real reason to adopt my child or to adopt him and not let him be with me. What they blaim me for is my past why I was fostered from being 9 years old and hold it against me and say I can't every have a child because of it. They now are proposing adoption and so is the guardian.
Hello leigha1993, thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so very sorry to hear about what has happened to you. Have you had any support? I am thinking along the lines of counselling. Whatever issues you have had to deal with then they can be worked through and you can move forward.
You might also like to contact the Family Rights Group for some support (click on blue link)
How are you feeling at the moment?
Hi louise thanks for the message.
I have been in touch with the mp and am going to contact the papers. Its wrong what they are getting away with
It must be very tough and a lonely journey, do you have any family members supporting you or friends?
Thanik you anna.
And yes they are all helping me the best they can
Hi leigha1993, i am sorry to hear what you are going through, it's good to hear that you have some support, it really is worth contacting the Family Rights Group in Louise's post.
What support has social services offered you?
Hi leigha1993 may i ask if you are on facebook ? if you are there are a few people on there that know alot about forced adoptions and how to fight for the right to keep your child. i am still fighting the ss and am determined to win against them. its been 3 years and they still havent got the adoption order they wanted in the beginning of my battle with them. keep your head high and make sure you record all meetings with anyone from ss or cafcass, as they say things to your face but then deny saying them but with the recording of every meeting or conversation with them you then have the proof that they did indeed say what they said (which they are now denying).
Hi fightforjustice. Yes I do have facebook. And my situation is beyond legal reprentatives help. So I'm taking it further. :) I do hope u get ur children back. :)
Hi leigha, if your on facebook try and speak to a guy called Ben Mosely he is really good and has helped alot of people who are fighting for their children, he can help with appeals, child case laws, taking it to a higher court, human rights issues in regards to the child (ie the childs human rights).
MODERATOR: link removed as it contravenes Forum rules
Hello there, I know you have been a member of One Space for some months and I am so sorry to hear about what you have been through. I am presuming that your son was originally taken into care because of concerns about your partner? have you had contact time with you son during this period?
It seems very strange to me that social services now want to go ahead and force the adoption of your little boy when you have done what they asked. Please contact the Family Rights Group (click) who have lots of experience in supporting parents who have social services involvement. Sure you may need some parenting support to start with in your new life but that's Ok, that is what Family Support Workers are there for.