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Hi Guys,
Didnt know who to talk to, and since this is Anonymous i thought i would share.
I found out today, at 12:03pm that i am pregant, i burst into tears freaking out, how could this of happened. Oh course i know how this happened, but HOW could this of happened.
I am a single mom with a 12 years old son, and currently not seeing anyone. A few weeks ago my best friend ( who i have known for 12 years) came around. My son threw a massive tanrum and so after a big fight i sent him to bed, my best mate realised i was really upset, so we cuddled up and watched a dvd, after 2 bottle of wine, one thingh led to another... we did use protection so i didnt think much of it.
I love my best mate he has been there for me through everything, but i am not attracted to him, but there is a real strong bond between us.
Anyways i have been feeling a bit sick, but that is not unsual as i have M.E, but i was due yesterday and normal always regular. In my lunch break i went to asda and bought a test, i was pretty sure it was negative but thought 'best get it out of the way for my peace of mind'
Came back home and took the test and it was postive, i freaked out and starting crying like a banshe. I couldnt believe it, i still cant believe it.
I thought it best to text my mate and ask him to come over, well he turned up and we went for a walk, i have never seen him so quiet he was in complete shock, although he did react better then i did.
After a few minutes of me talking i realised he was to much in shock to say anything, so i told him to go home and let it sink in, scream, shout etc. He left without a word and now i am left feeling alone, scared, still in denial and freaking out.
I dont believe in abortions but this has come as a complete shock, i told my mom who was extermely happy, i talked to my son who was very shocked and confused. i have always been honest with him and i told him that i wasnt sure what i was going to do but he was old enough to understand the situation. I asked him to let it sink in and then be honest with me and tell me how he feels about the whole thing.
Its now 3:36 and i have calmed down now, still feel sick and in denial.. i am so scared and dont know what to do. I always told myself if i had another child it would be done properly, not an 'accident'. I also wanted to be in a stable relationship. Neither which i have done.
I dont want to be the a single parent with two children from two different dads, but at the same time i am not getting younger and this could be my last chance to have a child.
Believe me this is the last thing i wanted at this monent, but i am in arguement with myself about what to do.. i am scared, cant stop shaking, hungry but feel sick.
I dont think i could forgive myself if i had an abortion but i cant see me having it either, so i am damned if i do and damned if i dont...
Hi Jasemine
alisoncam is right, please dont beat yourself up about whats happened, it is also right that only you can decide whats right for you, doesnt make it any easier does it?
I hope that whatever choices you make are the right ones for you and as alisoncam said are made when you are a little more together than you feel right now.
Thinking of you
Hi Jasemine
What a shock for you, I exepct it is very difficult to think straight right now. I am thinking that it is very early days for your pregnancy, and if so you will have some time to get used to the idea. It will help to talk things over with someone outside the family. There is an organisation called Care Confidential that may be useful to you, click here to see their website.
In the meantime try to get as much rest as possible and start to be calmer. It will have come as a big shock to your friend too, after all you used contraception, so maybe he can be more supportive once he has got used to the idea.
We are here to give you emotional support too
They may only be virtual, but sending gentle hugs your way.
Updated.. Still Pregant.. but my son is very happy, he is over the moon, thinking of baby names etc.
I am calmer this morning although i dont think it has really sunk it. i think i am around 3 weeks pregant but according to the website ( last day of period) i am over 4 weeks, so very confused how i can be pregant before we even did it.
Have doctor appointment next tuesday and my mate is coming around tonight to talk, i really dont know what to say to him. I know in my heart i will keep the baby as i really dont believe in abortion ( its okay if others have it but i cant) but not sure how to tell him that i am keeping it, i dont want anything to change between us and i dont want to 'get together' because of what happened. i know i have to be completely honest with him, but it is going to be really really hard.
Just went to asda and bought some folic acid, apparently you are suppose to take it?? not sure what it is for though
Both my parents are happy and think it is fantastic ( although my dad is in china, so cant really expect any support)
Will keep you updated and thanks for your kind words..
Good luck with the talk this evening. That is one thing though, there is time to adjust to things...
I'm so pleased your son and family are happy, and glad you are calmer.
Best wishes
Hi Jasemine
Nice to hear you are feeling better today.
I think folic acid helps in the developement of the babies spinal cord so it is a good thing to take . I think the GP will say something about taking this when you see them.
Hi Jasemine. Glad that you're feeling calmer. When it is out of the blue, it does take time to adjust to it. Your friend, the father, just be honest with him, tell him exactly how you want things to work out. If you have made your mind up about having the baby, and it seems you have, simply tell him your decision and that you don't want to get together with him. Of course you want him in the baby's life, but that is obviously his choice. As you've been friends for years, I'm pretty sure it will all work out, I really hope so anyway. If it doesn't, then you know what's in store being a single parent already. Really pleased that your son is happy for you, as well as parents of course. You've plenty of time to get used to the idea, and start shopping for baby bits and pieces, awwwwww.
I didn't start taking the folic acid until I was pregnant. Take a look here I took it for so many weeks, if I remember rightly.
The very best of luck for tonight. Keep posting for our support.
Hi Jasemine
Glad you are feeling better today, I am sure you are right and that being honest with the baby's father, including what you want and what you DON'T want, does seem to be the best way forward.
The GP will give you an accurate dating for your pregnancy but as far as I understand it the "weeks pregnant" is since the first day of your last period, so when it is four weeks since that day, it is said that you are "four weeks pregnant" even though you have probably conceived mid-cycle.
Look after yourself and let us know how you get on this evening
Morning All,
Feel so much better today, had a good chat with my mates and we are keeping the baby, it started off very werid, and he asked me how many test i took and if i was sure etc.. but after a few awkward mintues things went back to normal.
Although it still doesnt feel real and wont do until we see the scan, he wants to be there to support me and the baby. He was concerned how my 12 years old son would react as it is a big change for him and lately my son has been jealous of me spending time with my mate. I had a chat to my son and he is fine, so we will have to take everyday as it comes, i think my mate just didnt want to make things worse for me as he will be around alot more and didnt want my son to resent him or hate him.
We both were worried that the other one would want to jump into a relationship but thankfully after being honest it turns out we both want the same thing.. just a really good friendship. Although he did say he might want more in the future, i did say the most important thing to me was that we were good friends and that were completely honest with each other.
I feel so much calmer and relieved knowing he will be there to support me. He said he felt better after chatting to me as well. So again i worried about nothing.. lol
Now that we agreed to keep the baby, i am so scared i am going to lose it. Because of my M.E i dont know how my body is going to react, but i guess i need to take it 1 day at a time.
I also told my mate that i want things to be normal between us and not have our conversaton always be about the baby. he agreed he wanted the same.
So far so good, but it is early days.. i am scared to tell alot of my friends as they will be completely in shock.. i think some will be okay, whereas others might give me some grief.
Looking forward to the doctors on tuesday, although not sure what to expect. Will he take a test again, will my scan get booked?? Will he make sure it isnt etopic or in the wrong place. Although i have had a child, the first time around i never really learnt much.. as i was young and thought if i didnt think about it, it would go away.. I didnt see a doctor until i was 6mths. So this time is very different and kind of a new experience.
If that makes sense.
Yes it makes perfect sense.
The GP will need to do their own test. It would be worth you getting a urine sample bottle from the doctor's or chemist's beforehand and doing a sample first thing in the morning of the appointment (hormones more concentrated at that time of day). Once they have "officially" confirmed it then they will set the wheels in motion for your booking-in and scan.
I am so glad that your friend is being supportive. Perhaps a good idea to give it a couple of weeks before sharing news with other friends if they are likely to be less supportive?
My appointment is atr 8:30am on tuesday so do you think that is early enough?
Also i dont plan to tell anyone else until at least the 4th month, just encase things go wrong..
Thanks for your support
Hello if you get the sample bottle over the weekend then you can do a sample at home the first time you go to the loo on Tuesday morning then take the (filled) bottle along with you to your appointment.
Try and get some good rest over the next few days and look after yourself
Hi Jasemine. That is wonderful news that the father will be involved. Also great to hear that he has also considered your son's feelings in all of this. I would also wait to tell more people, as it is very early days. Even if you get negative responses from some, it really isn't their business at the end of the day. As long as you are happy, then don't take any notice what others have to say, (the negative ones that is).
I think my first scan was at 12 weeks, it was Valentines Day, which made it special. I didn't have it confirmed at the Drs either, although my Mum was very ill at the time, so I had phoned the GP to let him know.
Now I know that you're happy, can I just say CONGRATULATIONS.
Thank you, that means alot...:-)
Let us know how it goes with the Dr etc. Have a good weekend, and treat yourself to TLC.
Hi ya,
Doctors went fine, he didnt really say much or do any test or checks, he said two clearblue test were enough, he worked out my due date and said a midwife will be in contact in 5 weeks for a 'dating scan'.
Other then that he sent me on my way..
Oh, I was wondering how you had got on at your appointment, that is funny that he did not do a test.
The midwife will do all the checks then, I suppose
I think things have changed an awful lot now Louise. Glad you got on ok Jasemine. Are you managing to rest a bit during the day? Is your son still excited? I know it won't be for a while yet, but would you want to find out the baby's sex? I didn't want to know, but then again, my local hospital doesn't or didn't at the time, tell the Mothers.
Hi Alisoncam,
Yes my son is very excited still and cant wait till he can come to the 20 weeks scan ( feels so long away). I am due in July, so i think this will be a very long pregancy. lol. I will probably want to know the gender, as it makes it easier to buy clothes.
it werid the last few weeks i have had more energy then i have had in a long time. Some days i am very weak and tired, but nothing i am not used to suffering with M.E.
Dont think i can hide my pregancy for too much longer though, as i am nausea almost every day and eat crackers all day, so people at work are starting to notice.lol
Just tell them you've completely gone crackers over eating crackers, lol. July does seem a long way off, but it will be here in no time. Gives you lots of time to start buying little bits and pieces though, or saving for them at least. I used to love going shopping for baby clothes, think I'm getting broody here, hehe.
Hi Jasemine
Sorry you are feeling so sicky, you have to find the thing that helps you. Ice lollies? (very unseasonal) Lime cordial? They would all go nicely with crackers lol.
ginger biscuits...
I never bothered with the GP with my last two pregnancies, just phoned the midwife (we're friends), as they seem to have very little to do with pregnant ladies.
Other than feeling sick, I'm glad you're having times of feeling energised.
Hello Jasemine
How are you feeling? Hope you are coping with the sickness Ok.
Hi Jasemine. These things do happen, so don't beat yourself up over it. The main thing now is for you, and only you, to decide what you want to do. Everyone will have an opinion, but it can only be you that makes the important decision. You do have time of course, so don't rush into anything. Weigh up the pros and cons, write them down, so you can see things more clearly.
We're all here to support you with whatever it is you decide to do. Take care of yourself