This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
Hi All,
I just wanted to Rant a little if that is ok??
Today was my second eldest child's Birthday and as usual useless Dad made an appearance in his life, it is great he is old enough that we need no direct contact with one another so the majority of the time I am fully protected from him, however the knowledge that his birthday card is now sitting on my mantelpiece is making me feel so irrational, I have had to resist urges to tear it up, allow it to fall behind the Fire (only the thought of it staying here and me not been able to remove it prevent this).
I never think of my Ex, I am free of him after 20 plus years of unhappiness and Domestic Violence, add to that a feckless, useless excuse for a man and you can see why I am delighted to be free of him forever. Yet this tiny little harmless card has made me feel like a bi-polar woman all day. (yes just a card no present, not even a Mcdonalds Happy Meal).
My Child is completely unaffected by his appearance and frequent disapearance from his life, so would be surprised by my reaction. As I am.
I just thought a little rant would ease my emotional rage and allow me to sleep this evening, there is no way I am losing Sleep over that cretin anymore.
And Breath.....................................
Thanks I feel better already x
PS I hope your son had a really lovely birthday xx
Hi Murray72
Whilst I did not feel as strongly as you do, I always used to feel as if I needed to touch said card with a pair of tongs rather than my hands! As my boys got older, I have got round this problem by having them display their cards in their bedrooms. Another idea would be to rig up a card string (say between two picture hooks) and let them hang the cards horizontally...easier to cover the "offending" card that way?
Hope the birthday went well for your boy!
Thanks for your replies and yes Birthday boy had a great day with plenty of Cake, ( did I mention he is 19 lol)
I feel less emotional today and the heat has subsided so I feel my normal rational self (yayyy).
Card is stragegically hidden behind others. I was irritated by my own reaction.
Have a great day everyone I am going to buy Bedding plants despite the rain here.
Hi Murray72, it is surprising how the old feelings come rushing back, but completely understandable.
Good point though by sparklinglime, the children (young adults) do notice if there is no card, so even though your son, doesn't seem phased by it, you might be surprised by what he really thinks.
Don't be irritated by your reaction, just let it flow, it is what it is.....and its over for another year!
I hope you have had a good day buying your bedding plants, what did you get?
Hi Murray72, it is surprising how the old feelings come rushing back, but completely understandable.
Good point though by sparklinglime, the children (young adults) do notice if there is no card, so even though your son, doesn't seem phased by it, you might be surprised by what he really thinks.
Don't be irritated by your reaction, just let it flow, it is what it is.....and its over for another year!
I hope you have had a good day buying your bedding plants, what did you get?
Hi, Murray72,
I don't think my lot have had cards ever from my first husband - they had the odd (always huge) present which of course wound me up as he wasn't paying a penny maintenance or anything. I have to admit though that I am secretly pleased for myself when there isn't anything (and there hasn't been for years), but then feel terribly guilty and angry at the same time, because the children don't deserve that and nothing is their fault!
I think it wasn't so bad when my second husband was still alive, because he made up for all the bad stuff from the idiot.
Funny how it hits us when we really don't expect it! xx
I think my Son was lucky (through gritted teeth ) to get some recognition for his Bday, so can let out a deep breath and be happy it is over for another year.
I treated myself to some lovely bedding plants, and a new pot to put a nice Climbing plant, a Honeysuckle in and the weather here in North Yorks has scuppered any gardening plans, the temp is almost baltic and it is blowing a gale. But come Summer my garden will look lovely in full bloom.
Stay warm all of you, big hugs xx
The plans for your garden sound nice. I bought some violas last week, planted them out and they are looking a bit horrified now as we shiver in gales and hail.
I thought of you yesterday when the postman came, with cards for my boys from their dad, still don't like it.
Are you staying indoors today?
Hi all, Murray72, your flowers sound lovely, I do not have green fingers at all unfortunately. Maybe the bug will grab me soon :)
Do you have snow up north today? I heard that it was supposed to snow 6 inches last night. A friend has just shown me a pic of north wales, it is completely blanketed. Hope sparklings ok :)
Hi Louise,
I have been hibernating today far too cold and Windy out there bbbrrrr. Thanks for sparing a thought for me when the Postman called, I feel Ok again now and back to my usual self thankfully.
Anna,
I have not seen any snow in my area but looking at the news many have, so my poor Petunia's and Lobelia are not looking too happy, I have protected them as best I can and hoping the weather passes quickly so I can get outside and enjoy a bit of gardening time. I have downsized and now have more of a yard than a garden so having to use my imagination to brighten it up a little.
I think it is time for a Hot chocolate and a nice slice of Birthday Cake. x
No snow for us, although the mountains are covered.
Our plumbers are working down in south Gwynedd and they did well getting there! I did drive to work in a snow flurry though...
Wow Murray72, there was still birthday cake??! It is good that you still have your yard and able to have a few plants. It sounds as though you thoroughly enjoy gardening time. Do you do any voluntary gardening for local elderly folk?
Glad to hear you are not snowed in sparklinglime, I am now wondering how it is today?
Hi,
Birthday cake was left as he got 2 this year, good old Nannie and then his girlfriend bought him a luxury double choc one.
Weather chilly but Sunny here today so looks like I will get chance to do some pots. We missed out on the snow thankfully.
Anna, I don't really know of such a scheme in our area but where I am living currently is a mix of new apartments and young families so lots of communal area's that have a team of gardeners that keep on top of it. I do like pottering around a garden but I have to say I do not miss mowing the Lawn or cutting the hedge, so it does have a plus side. Low maintenance gardening suits me fine.
I hope everyone enjoys the Easter Weekend xxx
Happy Easter to you too Murray72, any plans for today Easter Monday?
Happy Easter to you too Murray72, any plans for today Easter Monday?
Hi Anna,
I am cooking a Roast dinner then I am working this evening, apart from that no plans.
What about you??
Hope everyone has enjoyed the Easter break.
Murray x
Today I am covering the boards, I really need to knuckle down and get on with an assignment and I also bought some radiator paint for a couple of rooms and promised myself I would do them this weekend.
We are also having a roast - yum yum, although my daughter is going out to a party tonight, so it may well be a mid afternoon roast - oh my it is mid afternoon already!!
Have a good evening at work 
Hi Murray72
The Easter weather hasn't been very good has it? I have a had a couple of trips out, more of the retail variety than family days, to be honest.
Did you get the garden done?
Hi Louise,
I managed to get a few plants potted and it looks better for having a bit of greenery outside, but it is bitterly cold today despite the Sunshine.
I went Tenpin bowling yesterday with the Kids it was good fun and we kept warm, oh and I made cupcakes yesterday which have gone down a storm, no good for the waistline though.
Easter overall has been a total washout weather wise, hoping for a nice Summer to make up for it :D.
Hi yes it's chilly here too and we had a hailstorm yesterday!
The bowling sounds fun. Is it back to school next Monday?
I do understand, although I didn't suffer DV, but emotional rubbish...
The thing that used to get to me was how which ever child put it at the front next to my card. I have to say that I'd move it, and put my Aunt's or sister or brother's card in between!!
However, seeing the upset my lot go through not having a card at all, I think I'd prefer that angry feeling - which perhaps I'd soon forget if he did send a card...
moider, moider moider.
Loads of hugs.