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hi me and my ex have a ok relationship. he has our little girl everyother weekend unless staed otherwise bymyself or has to work. she is picked up from her home and dropped off which is fine what i dont understand is when she is gone for those few days i hear nothing?
no simple text msg or phone call or i dont even know where my ex lives? is it wrong of me to know where she is with him? justv for my own sanity? as he wont tell me? i dont know if i have any wrights with knowing this but i just wanted to check
thanks
Hi
I never heard from my lot when they were with their Father. Yes, it did 'get' to me, as the children are able to contact him whenever they choose.
Hi,
My daughter is older so they can arrange things between them, plus it is still a very new situation to us.
By reading your post though, I would say that as you have on ok relationship with your ex, then I don't see why he can't give you his address. Explain to him the way you feel and be honest, that it would just be nice to know where she is for your own peace of mind. But as Louise says, if you don't text him, you could always say that you will do that for him too.
thanks guys,
i really try to see it from his point of view as i as a child saw my father go thorough it. i totally get he wants to have his time with his daughter thats fine but i text him in the eve of when she leaves and then in the am the day before she due home to check times i dont hear anything till the day she home and thats to say what time and its all non-communicative.. from his end.
thie difference is if i didnt reply or him have knowledge of where i live he feels it unfair so i feel like its rules for him and me so just feeling a little underminded by him.
Hi lizzie. I agree with others that you should have an address for him. I cannot see a problem with this, especially as you have an ok relationship. If your little girl was going off to play with a friend, then you would have that address wouldn't you? I don't actually see the difference here to be honest.
Hi,
you absolutely need to know the address! Have you asked?
When my ex was still seeing my then little people I always insisted on knowing where they were and what the plans were. If I didn't know, they didn't go. :-)
thanks again all, i did know his last address but his new gf didnt like me knowing the address and now they have moved they are all family inclded adiment on me not knowing ... its silly and not sure whst to do i csnt tell my daughter know as she loves seeing her dad.. in a pickle
but thank you all again for advice x
Hi lizzie88, I just want to reiterate what the others have said.
I think you absolutely need to know the address she is staying at, I wouldn't need the text everyday if I trusted that he was able to look after her sufficiently.
But what it is more important here? The girlfriend happy and their address confidential or to have a mothers peace of mind to know her child is safe and secure and can contact if there is an emergency.
Do you know the girlfriend?
hi anna,
i know of the gf and she doesnt like me too much its all very complicated they got together while i was pregnant with my daughter not that i new he was seeing her so we dont exactly see eye to eye but are respectful of each other as we both have kids intrests at heart (as my daughter has half brother now from her)
sorry life story im just at a loss no one will help me, ive spoken to him today again. his response was 'jog on knowing my adddress'
so again im no-where.
but again thanks for all comments its nice to know people see it from my point of view and im not being silly!
L
So what do you think you will do now, Lizzie88?
You "could" go through a solicitor and get it, I am sure that a legal adviser would say that you need to know where your daughter is.
Jog on??? How dare he, ooh that really touched a nerve with me.
Ask our Expert on Family Law and see where you stand with this lizzie88, I would.
Cheeky so and so.
Hmmnn, well that's not a good response from him at all....
In that case can you not explain to him, exactly what you have said to us, that they know your address, and so for him to put himself in your shoes, if he DIDN'T know your address, how would he feel? Not happy about it, I'm sure....
Also say, that you have taken some advice( to prove that you're not being unreasonable about asking), and say that you only want to know should there be an emergency or you need to pick her up,as you have no intention whatsoever of going there otherwise, but just for your peace of mind would like to have that information.
Would that help at all?
Mr daughters ex would not give his address, she told him that unless the solicitor had it the children would NOT been staying with him, as it was needed if an emergency, he gave the address to the solicitor who passed it on to my daughter. We now know where the children are staying when they are with him.
Phew, I be that is a relief nannals. So was his problem giving it to your daughter personally, or was he unaware that the solicitor was going to pass it on?
Hello lizzie88
Personally I think you do need to know the address. If your relationship is Ok I don't see why he has a problem with this. If he really will not give it, would he give it to a third party such as family member? Your daughter is still very small and it is not as if you can phone her or anything.
You could also ask him to send a text morning and evening to say she is Ok...BUT please also look at it from his point of view....how often do you text him during your time with your daughter? If he agrees to text you every day he has her then of course you must agree to text him every day that YOU have her too.