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hi, thank you for reading this, i have to boys aged 8 and soon to be 5 and a daughter aged 6 my 8 year old is with C.A.M.S he doesnt talk very well and he is also getting assesed for autism, i am a single parent and i hate the fact i can not motivate my self to take the kids the park or even play games at home i actually think that there is very little fun time that the kids have with me, they play amongest them selfs or watch tv or argue and oh when they argue every1 knows about it lol i struggle to dissapline my children as i dont smack and dont stick to what i say i.e last warning your in bed so my children dont listen but on the other hand there not really naughty often. i just dont understand why i aint a fun mummy when really i should be. i sometimes think is it because i dont have any friends were i live or family so it is just me and my children sometimes all i want is a chat with an adult not a child i think a lot same old dif day when really its only the same old dif day cause i stay in all the time but i act as if i have got 101 things to do when really i havent, is there anyone out there in the same situation ? x
Hi samiej25 and welcome from me too!
I just wanted to reiterate what Louise has said, how you are feeling is not uncommon, I remember it well and one of the hardest things I found was when people asked what I liked doing - my answer in my head was I DON'T KNOW!
I had my daughter quite young and never really got the chance to experience life for myself and find out what I liked doing. However Louise has some good ideas to get you thinking, structured play, outdoor wildness, free to roam...what really floats your boat?
Hi yeah I don't think your on your own with this, I think when your doing things on your own it can be hard to motivate yourself to go out and fund what feels like bag of energy to play with your kids x
Have a look in your local area if there's something you can go to maybe? I went to a group and was amazed at the women there were in the same boat as me lots of with simler problems to me,
X
Hello samiej25
A big Welcome to One Space. I can honestly say that a lot of parents have felt like you, and this is more so amongst single parents.
You say you don't have much to do but bringing up three children is very hard work, especially with your eldest having some additional needs.
I am thinking that you are not working at the moment if you are not out the house much. I guess that you will be placed on Job Seekers Allowance pretty soon if your youngest is coming up to the age of five and this will change your life quite significantly. Hopefully a job would give you chance of some adult company. However, yes, I agree that it would be good to make friends anyway. This does mean that we ourselves have to make the effort to meet the friends in the first place, they won't come to us. Have a look at our article Making New Friends (click to see) as it is packed with ideas for that.
I hear what you say about not being a fun mummy. Well, we can't be all-singing, all-dancing when we have so much to do but it is about having fun FOR YOU as well. What do you remember doing as a child that was fun? Did you like structured things like board games or did you like energetic things like running around games or did you crave freedom and just liked wandering around in the countryside with a picnic in tow? What makes your children laugh? All these things will give you clues about what might work.
As for discipline, well we can give you lots of ideas and support about that (and they don't include smacking so don't worry
) but really you have plenty going on with focusing on fun. So what would you LIKE to do?