letting your child 'go'

I feel really excited that my child is going to school now (pre-school) and it seems as though A will be spending more quality time with his father. Things are progressing and im really happy and excited - A is now developing to be a more holistic person, developing and learning new things, meeting new people (new family members on the fathers side etc).

BUT ........ i also feel apprehensive, scared and i feel as thought (sometimes) i do not want to let go. I feel sad that my child is growing up so qucik. BUt the biggest point here, is that im scared of how to handle A spending more quality time with his father. Im scared of letting him go with that context, as its never happened before. (Ive always been around yknow?) Ive now got to let my child go, to a person who has given me such a hard time in the past, to a person who left me in it on my own basically. I know its about moving forward and this excites me, but i am scared of letting go and letting him have control over our child, without me being there. How do i deal with the reality, of letting my son go to his father ( something that i genuinely want) and the reality that ive got to let him go.

When i was a child, my mother smothered me (only had good intentions) and i remember the feeling of 'let me be - let me have space - let me have my own rights to do what i feel is right etc). I have learnt from this and i do not want to be the same with my child.