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Hi i am new to all this but having sat for the last two hours going through your site feel compelled to write and hope it will make me feel a little better.
After 6 yrs of constant put down blame and verbal abuse i found the strenght to leave my childrens dad and get my own place and a part time job i am hoping life will now get better for us . i have no family around as my family disowned me when i wouldnt leave him but my slf confidents was so low i thought i couldnt especially with a 12 yr old a 2yr and a 1yr old its scarry and i still sit crying at night but hopefully i will get through this one day at a time,it doesnt help when he keeps turning up at my house xmas day with presents for me jewellery clothes perfume ( yet last 6 yrs never had any) telling me all he wants is for us to be a family, but i know i can never allow that again for my own sanity and my children just feel so alone at times and go days without speaking to any adults until i go to work. His parents are brilliant and have nothing to do with him but look after our kids for me to work, just want my life back and hope this year brings that ..... Happy New Year to you all and thanks for letting me ramble on x
Hi louise thank you so much for replying it mans so much . No i havnt heard of the Fredom Programme but will take a look. My job is going great and its so nice to be back in the real world and talk to adults and not be put down or critised for what you say and made to feel small all the time. My family disowned me when i wouldnt leave after he smashed up our garden with an axe and the police where called so i dont think they will come around now . His parents are great and dont know what i would do without them to be honnest .All my freinds got to a point of not coming round as he was rude to them and made everyone fel uncomfortable so they just stopped calling , i feel so alone at times then look at my beautifull children and realise i am not thanks ronirubi
welcome to this site you can do this yes its hard but you have to do this for the children if you are unhappy they can see it through you and you shouldnt be ever verbal abused at all . you will cry and for some time yet but in time it will and does get better and you will become stronger trust me i was you about 18 months ago but i was hit and i thoughtmy life was over really and i never thought i would get through what i ahve had to go through and see the light at the end of the tunnel but i did and have so hang in there keep posting and on here you will get advice and support . you have taken the huge step of breaking away and this is a new start for you and the children
I'm so glad you have the support from his family. I'd have been lost without my ex-in-laws (my parents died a while back now...)
Keep strong and my very best wishes for the new year.
Looking forward to getting to know you.
Hi ronirubi, welcome to One Space from me! 
I agree that it is brilliant that you have supportive in-laws and a job that you enjoy. Just remind yourself that Rome wasn't built in a day. You have been through a tremendous amount and no-one, including yourself, should expect you to not need time to heal.
Baby steps and you will get there, every day, remind yourself of all the positives in your life and why you are a great person.
Also do have a look at the Freedom Programme online, or find one locally as it is so empowering to realise that they are the ones that were playing games and at no time was it your fault!
hi how are u, i av dun freedom programme, it did open my eyes, im actually plaqnnin on doin it again,i was in very emotionaly abusive relationship,luk on my thread on edge, to long a storylol, i never met ex family as he ad double life so i met no1,i didnt see my mates cos of ex,they were all slags, so he called them,we av 2 yr old daughter together, anyway hun u are not alone, u av support on ere and ex family at least, u are strong womanx
Hello ronirubi
When you are feeling stronger, how about a letter to the friends with whom you have lost touch? Something along the lines of Dear X, I have missed you and am so sorry we have lost touch, I know it is partly to do with how Y behaved. I was in such a bad place that I didn't cope with that well at the time...but I have broken up with Y and am starting a new life now, I hope we could meet up again
Hi thank you so much for replying it mans a lot believe me. it is hard but deep down i know it is for the best for my children and me, i just find the evenings the worse as i feel very lonely when the children are all in bed. I have been dcorating my new house and that has taken my mind off things a bit . i just keep thinking is this it is this what my life had set out for me x x x
hi there thanks for the reply and yes i dont know what i would do without the ex-in-laws. they have become my backbone and everytime it looks like i am about to fall they remind me of my life before i got out and the person i use to be . i look forward to getting to know you as well . Happy New Year x
Hi Anna thanks for the welcome and yes my in laws are great there son does not know how lucky he was to get parents like that but he does not speak to them anyway and is awful to them when he does.I understand what you are saying about rome but it feels sometimes my life will never be normal again,i thought the hard part was leaving but its just begun x i have started thev freedom programme will keep u updated on my progress x thank you
Hello again, I understand the thing about when the children are in bed but the solution is in your hands....you can pick up the threads of some of your old friendships and make some new ones! It is a slow process but little steps and build up a new life!
Hi ronirubi, every day you are creating a new 'normal! Who knows what the future holds, except there is one thing for sure, you get to call all the shots! You will be the one in control of your life. You can live in peace.
Hello ronirubi and a big welcome to One Space!! there is lots of friendly support here for you
Well done on getting out of that situation and isn't it just typical that he turns up with all those prezzies!? Often someone who has abused us will think they can "buy" us back.
I am so delighted to hear that his family are supportive and wondering if your own family will be more amenable when you tell them you have struck out on your own?
Have you heard of The Freedom Programme? (click to see) It is a course for people recovering from abusive relationships and as you can see we have an online version.
As for still feeling very emotional and weepy, it honestly is normal. You're not really crying for him but for the loss of your hopes, and you tried so hard to make it work. How is your job going? Have you any friends around you or is it time to look at making some new ones?
Sorry, lots of questions....just want to know about you and for you know that you are not alone