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Hi, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 6 years, in which time, unknown to me, he abused my children in different ways. In Dec last year I had 3 of my children put into long term foster care, and the judge granted placement orders for my youngest 2 who are 4 and nearly 6. The judge made findings against me that I knew about the abuse, based on probabilities. My 16 yr old daughter is still with me which is a bonus, but I miss my other children so much, I see my 17yr old weekly, my nearly 14 yr old fortnightly, at the moment I see my 11yr old and younger 2 every 3 weeks, but that will change to a final contact for the younger 2 and 4 times a year for the 11yr old. I am totally devastated, I spend a lot of my days in tears, my heart is broken. I am doing dv counselling and cbt, and I have been accepted for psychological counsellling, and I hope at some point in future that I can apply to get some or all of them back.
Hi Devoted mum of 6,
What a devastating thing to have happened to you and your children, as you could not help it that you all were emotionally abused and it is so hard to escape from a situation like that.
I think it very cruel what the judge has done to you and your children, splitting you up from your children and you have less time with the younger they are. I can imagine you can't stop crying and your heart is broken.
Have you tried John Hemming (MP) and ask him to help you ? Or your own MP to have a look at it ?
On this site you can also do the Freedom Programme and also a Parenting course and print out the certificate that you have followed them, to show you are taking steps forward. ((((Hug))))
There is also a legal expert on this site, is it worth to ask advise from him ?
I did contact John Hemming, didnt really get much help from them. My local mp is an idiot...I have done the freedom programme twice now. i am currently doing counselling. nothing will make up for my children not being around. And I have done the positive parenting course on here, got the certificate, none of it was taken into account at court :(
I will take any advice going if its free thanks.
Hello Devoted Mum,
Welcome along. I can't express how sad I am that this has happened to you, and especially to know that it is proposed for you not even to have contact wih the two youngest children.
If you want to ask the legal expert a question, then click here.
There is also an association for Mums separated from their children, for emotional support but there is a small annual membership fee there, see here (click)
Nothing can make up for your children not being around you. I can't understand why there is no help in these situations. They seem to happen more and more.
Where are the rights of your children ? Some of your children are older, and should be expressing where they want to live. Has anyone looked into their opinion and views and their right to have their own solicitor if their views are different from SW or Cafcass? There are organisations that look into the children's rights being met and there is free legal aid for children who need their own representative. 4 of your children are starting to be old enough to fight for their rights with their own solicitor.
You can also phone women's rights www.rightsofwomen.org.uk They are very busy and it takes time to get through but they are very helpful with free legal information.
I wish I could do more for you, I will check websites to see how to obtain your children's rights
Hi Devoted mum of 6 i'm so sorry to hear what you have been going through, i can only imagine how awful this is for you.
Have you got any legal advice as to what your next steps should be? The Family Rights Group (click for link, there is a number on the home page that you can call) they can be helpful in these situations.
Do you family or friends that are supporting you?