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Hi,
i have been with my fiance for 7years and now have a little boy to him, things arnt great he moans at me all the time we never sleep together we have numerous amounts of arguments and i a so fed up. i have tried to split with him for a long time and got close but something is keeping us together but not sure what. the main reason what i want advise about is tht he has a best friend he is also my best friend and have been for years the thing is he treats me so nice and hes said things tht make me wonder weather he likes me or not. one time he said just think tht baby could be ours when i was pregnant he says his type of girlfriend wuld be this n tht but narrowing it down its me. i think wer a perfect match everythin he wants in life i do. i have fallen for him big time i get butterflys when hes round at mine. i have also told him i like him and he said dont be stupid it will neva happen. but ino he likes me what should i do
Hello love is lost
When our relationship is a bit stale and we have not had any kindness or attention then we naturally respond to someone else giving us that. It sounds a pot-boiler situation with the three of you spending rather too much time together. You need to look at your relationship with your partner as a completely separate thing from the friend. If you think that you can work things out then would he go to counselling with you? What is it that is keeping you together?
If you do decide to split then there is no need to get involved with someone else straightaway, in fact I would recommend some time alone to deal with the situation.
As a site, we are here to help and support single parents so our input is limited here, except to say that you need to focus on your current relationship, rather than what might be with this other guy, when making your decision.
I think you need to deal with the relationship you're in first before you even consider pursuing this other bloke. And i think you need to be aware that some people want what's unavailable and being his friends fiance with whom there is a child makes you massively unavailable. I am suspicious of this other man's motives.
I don't think you should stay in the relationship you're in if it makes you unhappy but I don't think you should rush out of it and into the arms of this other man. Would some therapy help? Would you like to improve your current relationship if you could? Maybe some space away from this man would give you the space to figure out what you want.
Those butterfly feelings are great and all well and good, but in my opinion (and experience) they signal drama and upset before too long.
My advice is to take your time to figure out what you want. If it isn't your current partner, the leave and be single for a while and focus on yourself. If things with the other man are meant to be then there's no need to rush into it anyway.
sorry, re-reading your original post - the man sounds like a headcase - avoid at all costs!!! Maybe he just wants to get one over on his friend by getting your knickers in a twist over him, even though he's said he doesn't actually want a relationship with you. He sounds messed up anyway.
Hello & welcome - Firstly I think if this guy is saying all that then he ISN'T a friend to your partner at all- friends wouldn't do that.
He needs to remember there is a child involved and he's playing a very dodgy game! I can understand people fall for each other after spending a lot of time together and you really need to think hard about what you want for your and your child's future..if your not happy with your partner then it's pointless staying with him if you deep down think it isn't going to work and you won't have a happy future.
You say this guy says not to be stupid & it won't ever happen but he's telling you it could of been "our" baby? that's very confusing for you and mixed signals.....any female would enjoy the compliments and being treated nice ESP if things are not great between your partner, Maybe you are reading to much into it do you think? Or maybe he's just playing mind games? it sounds like a tough situation for you :(