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Hi everyone I need help and advice on how to get on with life. For the last two years all I have done is go to work and take care of my son and do a lot of worrying.
Now that I am divorced is made me realise that life goes on so I'm trying to to carry on. I don't have a lot of spare time with work and taking care of my son I am also trying to build bridges with my stepdaughter which is going quite slowly.
So I tell you a little bit about myself at the problems I am having , the only people that I know other people I work with and it seems that quite a lot of them same boat as I am I don't drink don't smoke so I never have any reason to go out and socialise. When my son is not with me I did work I find it very difficult to talk to people and to make friends I really don't know where to start. The only person I seem to be able to talk to is my ex-wife and I know I shouldn't I know that if I need somebody else but that would take my attention away from her . so as you can see I may be a lost cause so if anybody can give me some help and advice I would be truly grateful
Great post suneagle!
Hi tallon7210, suneagle has given some good ideas.
Time to start a new hobby! What would you be interested in? Have a look at this article on Making New Friends, at the bottom there are links to local groups where you can find like minded people. You might find something that you could do with your son?
Building bridges with your step daughter - how old is she? The best thing you can do for her is listen and don't give advice unless asked! Tell us more about your relationship with her and we can talk more.
You say that you talk with your ex wife, how long have you been separated? Is she happy for you to speak with her? I am unsure from your message whether you want to take your attention away from her or not?
We can help you through this, any time you want to talk, leave us a message and someone will respond 
I used to have hobbies years ago riding motorbikes, welding and home improvements DIY. I had I to sell the bike and a welder. Not doing any improvements to the house until I know if I'm going to be able to keep it this is the only thing that has to be sorted out now as a divorce was absolute last week. For the last two years I have done very little as you know there isn't a lot of surplus money floating around forward to us to do much at the moment.
My stepdaughter is 15 going on 16 this year she blames me court has happened because our relationship has always been strained .I believe that she was trying to come between my ex and myself, but I didn't realise this until she left and took my children. I know now that it was my ex and her parents who keeping me at arm's-length from her, so I tried a little bit too hard in the beginning and this just pushed her further away. I have spoken to my ex and she is quite willing for me to try again as long as my daughter is she will not interfere. I spoke to her today because it is snowing and she was sent to school and while we were talking today just about things I asked her is she still wanted to call me dad or buy my name and she said to me I have always thought of you as my dad so I'd like to keep calling dad and that made me cry because I wear my heart on my sleeve.
We have been officially separated two years she only moved out last March, our divorce was absolute last week.For meit means that the book is now closed I can move on with my life it is over , she was over the relationship two years ago as she was the one ended it. over the last few months the arguing and fighting has almost stopped completely as we settled many of the issues that we had .
she has moved on as she has a new man in her life and I am very happy for her which has made me realise it's time to move on, the only thing is she is my only friend as I know that I find somebody else to talk to or have a relationship with I would be able to move on quite easily.
I still have feelings for her, I will never stop loving her because she gave me the one thing I wanted more than anything and that is children even though only one of them is biological that I have a son and daughter which I love more than anything else . so you could say I am finding it a bit hard to let go, but I think I'm ready to move on my son is okay with it so I'm okay with
. I'm finding it hard
Hi Tallon7210
I remember saying hello to you on the other thread last week, so hello again!
It IS hard to move forward but you have two choices...stay as you are or try out new things. What I found what that a lot of the things I tried were pretty dire but in the end I found things and people I liked. My top tip is don't neccessarily go looking for a new relationship, just think about some new friends.
Would you think about rediscovering your interests or maybe even new ones. There will be lots of things on in your community from Ceroc dancing to snooker clubs. Also have a think about joining MeetUps and/or Spice (click the blue links to see)
Hi,
It is so common to throw yourself into work and caring for others. Time and time again all I get is you have to get time for yourself.. At the start of it I didn't know how. My ideas were that I should be able to do this, that etc.
I tried a few things, work were doing a yoga class at lunchtime so I joined that. Didn't really make friends but did start learning how to breath.. when I had to stop that because of changed circumstances, it had already given me some confidence to try something else I wanted to do. Somethings I have liked others were glad I tried them but not for me. Each try has slowly helped me learn to talk to people and leave my problems behind for a hour or so and just be in the present.
And through the journey and it is still a new journey I have found some friends. Who understand I don't have a lot of time free in my life and except me where I am today.
I have also learnt to chat to people online. At the start I was so greatful for anyone talking to me, then I learnt that I could say nice meeting you, but not for me. For whatever reason. That then helped into my real life. The one I lead in the real world and not the virtual one.
Take it step by step, find something you would like to do for you, try it and who knows slowly you might find a friend or two along the way.