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Hi everyone, it seems so quiet. Have been very depressed. I did phone the solicitors and told them I was well aware that my ex was not entitled to any repair money as he lived for free in our home and that I was willing for the sake of closure, to pay this money, only if he would sign an official document that this was a final claim and there would be no more claims after this. The solicitor handling the money sent both of us an official document to sign that we could not claim anything from each other anymore. I paid for 50% of the repairs to have closure.
Finally last week all was settled and there should be closure, though I cannot seem to believe it.
3 days ago he sent me an email, of course just before bed time.. To say he had written a letter for the children, which should be read by the guardian to the children and there would be copies for them. That unfortunately the guardian was ill and that she will do this after we have been on holidays. That I should inform the children that he was now married and had a wonderful family. To inform the children that they now belonged to a growing family and they had now 2 new sisters and that his family would welcome both into their midst, and that their half sister of his first marriage was already in such a good relationship with them. That they were lovely girls. That he was buying a new house and would move in August. I did as ordered and informed the children.
The eldest came into my bedroom in the middle of the night, terrified of his nightmares and not able to sleep. I couldn't sleep. I made the mistake in the morning to ask what the nightmare was about, and we had the same scenes again of screaming and shouting and slamming doors, after school it became even worst with one scene after another. It is like that every time we hear from him. It completely broke me.
When can I just switch this off. This is such a deliberate drip feeding every time when I start recovering I break to pieces again. And he knows so exactly what he is doing.
Couldn't even tell them if they are real sisters or his new wife's daughters or how old they are. And he knows what it does to my eldest. Why can't he just leave us alone and be happy with his new family. Don't know how to stop this.
Hello everyone
You have all been busy with decluttering and sorting out, I am well impressed! I am about to decorate eldest's bedroom, well ex-bedroom as he wants his mattress at his new house and for me to get rid of the bed base. I have chosen a colour (plummy red) and now need to go through oodles of books and make a charity bag.
PQ glad you got a meditation sorted and knitting can be very calming too.
Sparkling have a great weekend, it's a new thing for you but hopefully the first of many jaunts.
Skyflower, lovely to see you, sorry you have been feeling low. You know that what your ex is doing is designed to hurt and upset you and guess what, he has succeeded! Time to take a deep breath, to say to the boys, "You and me are a team and nothing will change that" and set your teeth and be totally and utterly determined that he will NOT undermine you. Of course you know that the boys are taking their feelings out on you so do not take it personally. Lots and lots of reassurance, and please know that it is not your job to make it all better for the boys, they need to encounter their dad for who he is and this might mean some upset along the way. Live through this and believe in yourself, and come on here for some friendship and encouragement! When is your trip?
Kiera great that they took the bed. How is everyone in your house today?
Sally, happy birthday to K. Yes it was a shofar the guy was blowing. I still haven't recovered!
Anna glad you had a good trip, sounds really interesting. Good luck with the army training, eek. I have emailed someone about my frog-swallowing and now have the info to make my phone call, so halfway there. How did the house-viewing go?
Met up with my sister this week, have not seen her for 18 months! enjoyed it and hope not to leave it so long next time. She was talking about unresolved things from her childhood, I ended up with my counsellor head on.
What's everyone up to today?
Thank you Louise, it makes sense. Thank you for your support. We are having sleepovers here, went to the park today as it was so beautiful out there. I was the only one in winter coat as everyone was in T-shirt but I was ever so cold.
My eldest went for the first time into town by bus, with a friend, still waiting if they are able to get back ?
This morning I thought to be creative and stickered wheelie bin stickers, tulips. The neighbour admired them all and said : 10 for effort :).
Happy birthday Sally for K. Anna hope that you had a very positive house viewing. So glad you met up with your sister.
Hope you have a great weekend Sparkling.
Good morning and Happy Mothers' day to you all! Hope you get some sort of spoiling today, or at least to put your feet up for a while. I understand that my Asda boy put something on facebook about him being glad that work had Jacob's Creek on rollback so I am hoping there is a bottle of wine with my name on it later, heh heh.
Skyflower, how did the sleepover go? Your bin sounds fab. My neighbour has hers done in army camouflage. Did your eldest have a good time in town?
The sleepover on Friday night went a little wrong as the boy could absolutely not sleep. His parents came to pick him up at 7 in the morning. :) The eldest had an adventure as he missed the bus home by 2 minutes and the next bus was very late as there had been an accident. He was really good as he kept me informed of it all by text.
As they had been waiting for a long time, having missed the bus, they were the first in line. But they were the only caucasians and when the bus driver arrived he told them that they must have pushed their way forward and had to go all the way back in line as the last people. Then he charged them double and he would not be allowed on the bus if they wouldn't pay up, so they lost all the money they had. Still he said they had a fab time as they saw lots of things in town. I phoned him at a certain moment, getting worried as it was near 8 and he told me he was 5 minutes away by bus from home, didn't want me to pick him up as he wanted his ride now that he paid so much for it. :)
Last night's sleepover they are still sleeping so I assume its alright, their room is such a pigsty afterwards....this boy has been here many times anyway, my house seems to be very popular for it somehow, and since we live so near the school, we have children over every day anyway.
Thank you Louise, Happy Mothers day to you too. Love Jacob's Creek will have a look on that one :)
Happy Mother's Day all...xx
Happy Mother's Day everyone. I have had some lovely chocolates and wine and beautiful home made cards with lots of coupons from A for all sorts from hugs to ironing!
i have had an eventful few days. I was at work on Friday walking to a meeting when I coughed sending my upper back and rib cage into spasm. I couldn't catch my breath and was in terrible pain. I hung on to a lamp post and waited for someone to walk past. A lady helped me back to my office where I thought I could sort myself out however it was soon obvious that I needed help so my colleague got a wheel chair and took me to a&e. I had loads of tests and strong painkillers and Valium for the spasms. I ended up staying in and finally got home last night. Thankfully there isn't anything seriously wrong and the pain is now bearable. I'm seeing the specialist on Wednesday for my MRI results so I'll let them know what happened and see what they think. The girls were really freaked out but my friends have been amazing (unlike their dad who was too busy!)
look forward to hearing all about your weekend away sparkling. I love priscilla queen of the dessert, it's one of my favourite movies and I loved the stage show too.
Skyflower, your ex is really trying hard to upset you, it's so awful to be on the recieving end of that, but you can take control by not letting him get to you. Big hugs x
Oh PQ that sounds terrible! Glad you have the specialist this week. Sometimes you can break a rib with violent coughing. Scary for you and the girls. Sending you a gentle hug. Glad you have had some nice things for Mothers' Day and that your friends were helpful while you have been in pain. Poor you!
Skyflower I am shocked at the bus driver's treatment of your boy and his friend, you said you thought it was because they are Caucasian but it could also have been because they are young lads, my eldest has often told me of terrible prejudice he has encountered during his teens. You definitely need to write a letter of complaint to the bus company!! Hope the bedroom is not too messy today.
Hope your weekend away has been enjoyable, sparkling.
See you all soon, have a good week!! 
So sorry to hear you are so poorly PQ, what a thing to happen to you and you already had such a bad back...hugs from me to you and thank you for your support, so very needed....Glad you had such a lovely Mothersday and that the girls have done so much for you, fantastic !
Good idea Louise. I have now filed an official complaint about it. The boys thought it was because they were the only Caucasian but you are so right it could easily be because they are teenagers and I want them to feel safe using public transport. How horrible that they treat teenagers so terribly what a way to grow up. Is it because people are scared when teenagers are in a group ? These were just 2 boys...
Tell us all about your weekend Sparkling, hope it was lovely, you so deserve it.
Thank you Louise and PQ I do feel a bit better...
Good morning all! What beautiful weather we have had, the sun is such a spirit lifter!
skyflower, I am glad you have come back on to give us an update. Louise is absolutely right and I think offers brilliant suggestions, encourage the boys to see the three of you as a team, help them through their dad 'stuff' and keep on looking to the future and the positive things you will be doing together. I hope that the sleepovers took their mind off things. Shocking behaviour from the bus driver, I hope you will let us know how the bus company reponds to your letter of complaint.
pq, poor you, those spasms must have been terrifying, good luck on Wednesday, are you back in work today, or will you take a couple of days off? Your mothers day sounded wonderful, I hope that you have stuck the tokens from A up on your wall, so that you can use them when necessary!
Louise lovely to hear your news, how nice to reminisce with your sister, although a shame you had to have your counselling head on and not just be...Did you get your Jacobs Creek?
I do hope sparklinglime had a fabulous weekend away and her house was in good shape on her return, can't wait to hear all about it
I didn't get to look at the flat, the woman text me an hour before the viewing to say she wasn't feeling well, so I will rearrange this week. (I wondered if she just hadn't tidied up!!) I had a good weekend, visited my mum and although my daughter doesn't currently have any money, she was doting and adoring, so all good!
What are your plans for this week?
Skyflower - loads of virtual hugs coming your way. I'm so sorry that things have been so difficult. I hope things do get sorted.
How great meeting up with you sister Louise. It's over two and a half years now since my sister and family came up. We're rarely in touch, and I'm not convinced we will meet up again. It's odd how the age gap still affects our relationship. I thought as I got older it wouldn't be so noticable. She's 11 years older than me, by brother 13 years older.
PQ - how frightening for you! I'm glad someone was able to help you. I hope they can get to the bottom of this.
I asked my lot to do the garden for Mother's day. They've made a good start. The house was a ruddy tip mind! I will have a tidy up after seeing my Aunty this morning. That will be the exercise for today then.
It sounds like you had a good weekend Anna.
I had a really lovely weekend. Drove over 500 miles! Good to see how relaxed my friend can be away from work. We did laugh. And to think I was worried... I have to say that I did call in to home on the way back, and again yesterday morning to collect my boss's birthday present. Work have now met him too.
As for going back on a Tuesday, I would enjoy the company. I will keep the Thursday and Friday off though. I'm doing more volunteering with the housing association, so more travelling on Thursday! That means no gym on Thursday morning.... Ah well. I can go on Friday instead.
I hope you're all ok.
So glad you had a lovely weekend sparkling, you really deserve some fun time for you.
I've not been back to work. I thought I was doing ok but I woke up really stiff and sore this morning. The painkillers they sent me home with are really strong and make me feel very woozy so I don't like to take them during the day. I'm going back to work tomorrow, I need to go to the hospital anyway for my appointment so I'll sit in the office quietly and catch up with some paperwork.
I am shocked by what happened to your son and his friend skyflower. I do think male youths can be discriminated against. My daughters didn't have enough money to get the bus home once and the bus driver let them pay with what they had, I wonder whether they would have been treated the same had they been boys??
I like your idea about putting the coupons up, I think I will do that right now
I felt so very broken, Anna and that is every time. I was supposed to write my monthly report next day and still haven't done it and have to do it today or I will be in trouble. I have to not let it hurt me and break me, I just don't know how. I am actually not even sure if I should have informed the boys with such little information.
I did receive an email back so far, saying they are going to look into this, as it was really nasty and I am glad Louise said about complaining, so I still could.
So glad sparkling that you had such a lovely time, you well deserved it and thank you for your hugs
What a nice busdriver your daughters had PQ I hope the results you get today, will help you, as you can't go on like this. Big hugs to you xx
Hi sparklinglime, I hope you had a good gym session this morning? As your friend has a bad back, I am sure your earlier walking concern won't be a problem. I am sure your children will be fine, do they have a person of contact if there is an emergency?
Are you sure you want to do the Tuesday again? I thought you were enjoying the time to yourself?
Have a super break away, I hope the weather is as good for you as forecasted, I can't wait to hear all about it :)
Happy birthday to K Sally, I hope the whole family have a great celebration.
I am off to look at a houseswap this evening, a little bit exciting, although I have looked at a few over the years and nothing compares to my home!!