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My ex girlfriend is at the moment only 1 month's pregnant with our child; however she hates me due to arguments we have had, and now she has told me she will not allow me to EVER see my child once he/she is born. I know this is 8 months away yet, however this is a growing worry for me. She has also said she won't allow me to be present for scans, or at birth, and she won't have my name on the birth certificate (i'm not sure if she has the right to do that last one though? as i am the childs father after all). I don't think it is fair that just because she dislikes me, that she has to break the future relationship between me and my child.
She has already cut all ties with me and won't keep my updated on what's going on. She has blocked me on facebook, changed her number, and won't respond to e-mail's. She could be having a scan right now for all i know, but she won't tell me anything; and it's killing me inside!... I don't think what she is doing is enough for me to take legal action, so i honestly don't know what else to do?!
Her current boyfriend has been in touch telling me that he will "treat the child as his own".. and if I'm honest this infuriates me! because there is no need for that as I want to be there for my child from the very begining. My child does not need 2 dads.
I am so worried I'm sick and i just really don't know what to do. She lives 40 minutes away from me, and i can't really go and see her as she will slam the door in my face and refuse to talk. and as i don't know the dates and times and locations of scans i can't just show up for them.
Is there anybody in a similar situation, or can offer any advice for me?
Thank you
Thanks for taking the time to reply. We don't have any mutual friends sadly, so i guess theres nothing i can do on this one then.
do you know if it's possible to sue her if there is any damage to our child after birth, as she is still out every weekend drinking heavily and possibly abusing drugs. When we last spoke 2 weeks ago she told me about how she collapsed with stomach pains while on a heavy night out and got rushed to hospital. I told her to stop and that she has to make changes in her life, but she won't listen to a word i say and im under the impression that she is purposely drinking now just to be spiteful to me because i have told her to stop. A childs life is not a game, and shouldnt be used to get back at somebody; i have been advised to go down the route of social services on this occasion, so stop her from abusing alcohol like she does while she is pregnant.
But if she doesnt stop, and our child is born with any diffculties due to the alcohol abuse, do you know if that is a case that i could sue her on.. because in effect she is abusing the fetus right now.. surely that should be recognised as a form of child abuse; i know it is in some states of america, but im not sure about here in the uk.
thanks
I'm not aware of this being possible in this country.
Grist91
You need a solicitor, legal advice anyway. If she is refusing to respond to emails, phone calls or you going to her house and knocking on the door, don't persist, this can be construed as harassment and she will use it to her advantage in court.
She can not stop you from being the childs dad or seeing him or her once she or he is born (unless a court decides that you are in some way a threat to the child). Don't harrass her or threaten her in anyway. If you have already tried asking nicely then your only other option is through courts.
I strongly suggest you go and see a solicitor.
Try the legal team here on this site as a starter...
Hi Grist91. Welcome along. Until the baby is born, I would say there is very little that you can do. As Bubblegum says, she cannot stop you from seeing your child, unless there is a very good reason, violence, threatening behaviour etc. She doesn't have to tell you when she is having scans either. Like Sparkling says, once the baby is born, get a paternity test perhaps (this isn't to say that you might not be the father), it's just so you have proof that you are, maybe for the birth certificate. As for her drinking, you don't actually know she is doing this, it's just her say so, and could simply be her way of getting at you. Perhaps as Bubblegum has suggested, you could contact the legal team here for more advice. Good luck.
thank you all so much for your advice!
hazeleyes; you are correct, she may not be drinking, but she told me that she collapsed while out - when we we last ever spoke, about 2 weeks ago, before the argument. and we were getting along at the time she told me that so it really got me thinking. and judging from when were together she does love a good drink.. however im not on here to accuse her of anything so you are right, i dont actually know if she has stopped of not.
but once again thank you for your advice, i have contacted the legal team on here. thanks alot
Hope you hear from them soon Grist91. It's such early days for her yet, so you never know, she might come around before the birth. Really hope so.
HI Grist91
The others have made some great comments. I have been in touch with you privately through the Ask the Expert section 
Hi
This is so upsetting for you.
However, as hard as this sounds, there are no rights, as such, until the child is born. I'm guessing as there is now a new man on the scene, so to speak, that you will somehow need to keep track of her whereabouts so that you can make a point of being on the birth certificate.
Somehow I have a feeling that this may need to go through the Courts as you may need to prove paternity and then be registered on the birth certificate.
No help, I know, sorry.
I don't actually think that you can insist on being included at scans or at the birth.
Just if you do have a mutual friend who can keep you updated with things, that could be handy...