This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
Hi i havnt been on OneSpace for a while now. My last discussion was about the trouble i had with a boyfriends famly not wanting to accept me because i have a child. Well things got a lot worse after that. We split a few weeks later after i had found out he had slept with a 12 year old girl and then again with a 14 year old girl. So i couldnt keep him around me for obvious reasons. I was really hurt and felt worthless, then 4 days later i had a miscarriage. I didnt even know i was pregnant with his baby. When i told him he didnt care at all. I didnt even get a text to see if i was ok. Absolutly nothing. The day i miscarried was the day my daughter started reception class at her new school. The first week i tried to just pull myself together and she was in everyday on time. Then the next week she was late and has been nearly everyday since. This has been going on for months now. Im struggling to do everyday things because i feel guilty. I wake up late, realize she is late for school, feel guilty then i feel bad the rest of the day. I keep myself up ALL night worrying about waking up late, then because its 6.30am i end up dropping off and waking up late again, then the guilt sets in. Its a vicious cycle that now seems out of my control. I just feel so depressed. Im in trouble with the school, They have done a 'Caft' i think its called. And the next step is Social Services, which i really dont want or need in my life. I need help but im too scared to ask for it. I dont know what to do. I feel bad for my daughter because she is like my older sister, she is super intelligent reading books to the class (when she is in) counting up to 70 now as well, her maths skills are something im jealouse of haha, her knowledge of food and culture are impecable. She is like an adult in a 4 year olds body. But i am destroying her by her being late for school. She has done 23 full days at school out of 70 odd. And she hasnt been in at all this week, because i now feel not just guilt but embaressment. I dont know what to do anymore. Please can someone help me.
Hi lola. You really must go and see your GP, and even though it's difficult, you have to ask for some help. I don't mean to sound harsh, but the school will inform Social Services, and then it might get trickier for you. She's missed a whole week this week, which of course isn't helping her or you. How about ringing the school for starters (if you haven't already done so), explain that you're not feeling so good, but that you will be doing something about it. I know it is hard, but there are people to help you, so please do ask for it.
We're all here to support you, but only you can seek the help. What your ex did was disgusting, but you have moved on from him. Now it is time to concentrate on yourself and your little girl. You will get through this. xx
Hi Lola Ann Mitzy
The others are right. I know you are scared but if you DON'T do anything then it seems that social services may be involved anyway. Go and see your doctor and also asked to be referred for counselling.
It is really important to get into a routine as well, with the sleeping. Sparkling has suggested that once it gets to 6 or so that you should get up and I agree with that. It may also help you to be more ready to sleep the next night. Keep a pad and pen by the bed and write your worries down. or imagine putting your worries in a big chest of drawers that lives inside your head and say to yourself "they are locked away for the night" OR you could block out your anxious thoughts with other thoughts, not of things with which you are involved, but things that are separarate from you, like a book you have read, or a TV progamme you watch...think about what you would do if you could give everyone isn Corrie a makeover for example. Try those ideas and see if anything works.
It is absolutely vital that you sort out the school attendance for your daughter so please do pick up the phone and make a GP appointment TODAY 
Hi Lola Ann Mitzy,
I have to agree with the others you really should go see your GP, and have ago at the tips that Louise and Sparkling have suggested.
You said that you have had a CAF done have you had any news on what course of action they have planned? Was any support offered by the school to help you improve your daughters attendence?
Big hug
Hi Lola Ann Mitzy, I just wanted to pop in and say Hi and how good it is to 'see' you again.
What a horrific time you have been having and it is not surprising that you are finding life particularly difficult at the moment.
Please reach out for all the support you can. So as well as contacting your GP, call Womens Aid on 0808 2000 247 or NSPCC on 0808 800 5000 talk to the helplines, see what support they can offer and what they suggest.
You will get through this, but you will need professional support. Platform 51 is an excellent organisation that supports women and girls take control of their lives, they might be another place to contact.
Hi
Have you been to see your GP? Clearly you do need help to get over things that have happened in the past.
It can be very diffucult to get in a routine of sleep. I seem to suffer from insomnia, or perhaps just don't need much sleep as I can get up in the mornings (so far).
Do you have an alarm clock? Perhaps getting up at 6.30am and showering, even though you are tired could help start a new routine? When my lot were small I would get up at 6am so that I could have a shower, wash my hair and get dressed before waking them up.
Just - and I know it is a just, and I'm sure you've tried it - it would cross off one thing off the list that worries you.
It is such a sad place to be though, with this report. If they are able to see that you are seeking help, they may also be able to help.