I have no family in England and had to leave my son with my ex and his grandad. I have tryed to get my son to come and live with me, but my job, my income and the fact that I can only afford a room in share accomodation, has make this imposible. My ex lives with his dad and his father in a very nice area in a 5 bedroom house. He receives all benefits and the child support I pay him, the most upsetting thing is, that he does not really look after my son it is actually the grandad, my ex travels abroad for more than 2 years every time and still gets all benefits and maintenance.
I feel this is so unfair, but I do not have the means to get a place for me and my son or, I do not know where to get help for mothers who want to get their children back.
It is difficult because my ex is use to get the money that is for the child, and he wont let it go without a fight in court where he flagges his father house against my one bedroom in a share house. What can I do?, this has been my nightmare for years...
Hi Lorena
I hope that do get some parenting time with your son and if you don't, there are different ways to keep in touch, depending on his age. You can try picture postcards while he is younger, progressing to texts and facebook as he gets older. One thing I sometimes suggest is you keep your own scrapbook of photos and thoughts etc with the intention of it beinga gift for your son once he gets older, showing him you always loved him and wanted to be with him, and the things that have happened in your life. Getting, or increasing, contact would be the first step towards you having more part in your son's upbringing.
I would also suggest you get in touch with MATCH (click the link) who support women in your situation
Hi Lorena. So sorry that you're in this situation. Louise has suggested that you get in touch with Match. Really wish you well. Take care
I see my son at least twice a week. He loves me and I love him :), with his father there isn't a relationship because it is his grandad who does everything with him and my ex is more busy living abroad.
Are you prevented from spending time with your son? As really, your option would be to take the matter through the Courts.
However, if the Court feels that the status quo is working they probably won't change things.
If he is well and cared for safe and happy, I see little chance of things changing.
Hello again
We do have a legal adviser on the board. due to high demand we ask that you just ask them about one matter, rather than a long list of questions. To email them, click here
Thank you
So sorry that you're in this situation
hi there i am sorry to here your news and that it become very awkard when you do want them back i am in this position my self all though i have been through in and out of court very long story but as a mother i am left with not seeing my son but all so down to his dad to let J come out and see me properly the way it used to be i done the donkey work when he was younger etc wrote to court but now being told to go back to court strees AND NOW HE IS 13 MISS HIM SO MUCH
WE NEED TO HOLD OUR HEADS HIGH
Hi Lorena and lindabrown, what a very painful situation to be in.
Have you been in touch with Rights of Women or the Childrens Legal Centre? You may find either of these organisations helpful.
Hi Lorena
What a difficult position you are in.
How often to you see your son?