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He's just walked in through the door, daughter asked where he'd been, and he said he'd been speaking to this lad who has been his best friend for so many years, up until last summer.
Yesterday, this lad asked him to go to the middle yard, where 6 of his other "friends" lept on him and dragged him across the playground.
I'm in tears here. I cannot believe that they won't leave him alone. He seems to have accepted that these lads no longer want him hanging out with him, and he has moved onto some new friends (who are nice, according to daughter).
So why, why do this to him?
He's been bullied so much over the years. Some nasty, nasty things too (a vile boy taking his xmas cards off him and chucking them into a muddy puddle and stamping up and down on them). But it has been at the hands of this vile boy and his cronies. Not accepteable, but I've found it quite easy to not like or ignore this boy.
This lad, who has been my son's friend has been coming to the house to play/sleepovers/parties etc since he was four.
I'm gutted. I feel sick. I now have to phone the school on Tuesday (teacher's training on Monday) and name his "friends".
My poor, poor boy. He just thinks its 'ok' that this is done.
I have involved the police with the vile boy, as he will come onto our estate and do something horrid (like wee by my back gate) so I can phone the police.
This was in school time - when they know darn well that he needs to be kept an eye on.
Thanks tiredmum.
Just been talking to mother-in-law, who's as speechless as I am. Both of us sighing! Weird phone call to anyone who may have been listening!
Can you go for an asbo/anti social behaviour sort of thing against this boy so that he cannot approach your son or any of your family at all no matter what the location, schools are in my opinion not at all good at dealing with bullying.
I really do feel for you on this xxx
That is dreadful. It needs nipping in the bud straightaway. I know he has been upset in the past that this boy was no longer his best friend. It sounds as if this boy being involved in the attack was some sort of "entrance exam" for him to be accepted into this other gang.
I understand how upset you are by this but may I suggest that showing him this upset my deter him from telling you about other incidents. Feeling that Mum is strong and capable is a better feeling for him right now (as indeed you are!!!)
It is hard for your son to judge what is right and wrong because of his special needs, you have had to teach him about not taking things from other people and so, conversely, he may not realise that he has been treated unjustly.
You will be doing the right thing by going to the school about the behaviour but the boys themselves need to know that you will go to the police if there is a repeat performance. Surely the school does not want their pupils to be the sort of people who pick on, and attack vulnerable individuals.
This article may give you some help.
The vile one does more or less leave him alone now, thank goodness, as last time the police brought him to the door (when I told him at his age he could just choose to be nice!), I did say that there was no reason for him to be on this estate. To annoy C is the sole reason he comes here.
My son will come straight home if he sees him.
This lad who was my son's best friend has also been bullied by this lad.
Which is why the whole thing that went on yesterday (having more bits put in place now) has confused me.
These lads involved yesterday think its all good fun.
Thank you Louise.
xx
Oh Sparkling. Poor C and you too. This behaviour totally sickens me, it really does. Do ring the school on Tuesday, they should know and beware of exactly what these lads are doing, and have done. The lad who was C's best friend, I'm guessing he is scared of the other boy, and like Louise says, maybe it was a test for him to join a gang or something. Hugs for you and C. xx
The other lot are who he was friendly with too...
At least this lad has met up with him and apologised. He's trying to say he wasn't involved and he was told to say that someone else wanted to meet him (cub leader's daughter who he is good friends with). Son says he didn't see her there, although she did come along a bit later...
Of course he was involved, just not big enough on his own to admit it. He is a bully along with the rest of them, but too much of a coward to actually tell C.
I pointed that out too!
If this other boy was his friend he could have warned your son that he was being set up, do hope you are all ok xxx
Hi sparklinglime, I am so sorry to read your post it is so upsetting isn't it.
One thing I have learnt though is that boys tend to fight and argue and then be friends again within a couple of minutes sometimes. How upset is C about all this now? Was he badly hurt?
He wasn't hurt, but has been very upset by it - or was on Saturday.
More than anything, I think it's the confusion that has come along with it, as it was totally unnecessary, and instigated by one who was his best friend.
I'm also concerned that the once best friend could well have been coerced into doing it.
Somehow, we need to find out what the lads would like too, as I do appreciate that my son really can be annoying...
...I know but it is sad when he gest such mixed messages about who to trust.
You say you would like to know if your son is doing anything to annoy them, and you are right if he needs to be taught something or reminding about it. However, it does not excuse their behaviour and maybe they need to be told that if they have a problem with something your son is doing, then there are other ways of dealing with it!
Thank you. I agree.
There's no answer at the school today.
He texted his friend yesterday asking him to come, and again this morning, but no reply. He's only texted once, and has agreed to leave it now.
He seems happy enough, and I've asked him to do an aeroplane presentation for the Cubs on Thursday. Keep him busy...
Why does an error have to occur when I post a long reply, with detail that I won't remember!
The incident has been dealt with immediately with by the deputy head - who was a confused as we were over the issue.
Thank you all for the support.
I feel I'm building up to a crisis (yes, again...) with things becoming overwhelming, but having written it out once, I won't this time incase there's another error!
Censoring for drama queen episodes maybe...
Nooooo...........!
Sometimes when I need to make a very long post I either do it in Word and paste it across, OR I click Post when I am a certain amount of the way through, then click Edit under what I have already posted and add the rest, so that at least the first half is Ok, or you could even post part one and then do a second post for part two.
Glad that the deputy head has dealt with it and taken it seriously.
As for building up to a crisis, have a go at writing down your main issues on a piece of paper and brainstorming each one, however silly some of the solutions may seem. Some of the things won't be solutions, but coping techniques or things to ease the situation and make it less bearable. Are there any themes? For example, would saying "No" more often help more than one situation? or some specific support with 15 year old, or different time management or raising your self esteem? Sometimes just ONE thing shifting can impact on lots of different areas of our lives....
Main part is not necessarily saying no to things, but dramas happening that stop me doing what I should be doing.
The drama yesterday was horrendous! Had there not been a teacher's traning day, it would never have happened, and things would have been ok. The 15 year old was so upset that he ran off. Terrible afternoon. And no one was actually to blame...
Back in more control again now, having got scout cooker sorted!
I used to copy and paste when the board was having that bouncey period! And I've got out the habit...
Really pleased the Deputy has got on to things straight away Sparkling. Take care. xxx
Great to hear that you have got the scout cooker sorted! Also that the school have dealt with the incident immediately.
Nothing ever seems to go as planned, I think we have to give in to that one! Take care of you. I hope today you can do something nice for yourself, while everyone is out of the house! :)
Now he's getting his results from recent 'mocks'. His mood is going down again.
**sigh**
Awwwh sparklinglime, are the results not what he hoped they would be?
Big hug for you from me xxx
Flaming GP continually engaged. Thing the time has come to see if CAHMS can get around to putting him on the waiting list to see if he needs to go on the waiting list.
I'm feeling drained!
Thanks tiredmum
Yes, I know all about those waiting lists...it is a YEAR wait in this area.
No wonder you are feeling drained.
Hi sparklinglime, isnt it terrible when you as his mum can see he does need a little help but actually getting the help is a nightmare as you say you go on a waiting list just to see if he can go onto a waiting list.
It will drain you but you can do this xxx
I can... And I've been through worse. I'd just like things to tootle along boringly 
I get Carer's allowance for him, and some of the time feel really fraudulant over it (because I do like to feel bad about things), but when he is in this mood, I have to be ready to drop stuff, go into school etc...
I don't know.
Outer hebrides here I come (so long as I can have internet and tele)
Dont feel guilty about carers allowance as you say you have to be ready to drop everything xxx
Dont go to outer hebrides, oki fin oki is much better ha ha xxx
I just fancy my own island, and as I won't fly, outer hebrides springs to mind - might see the northern lights too
oh yes private island sounds good to me actually, oh I would lovve to see the Northern lights something I have wanted to do since childhood that xxx
I figued I could manage a cruise to Norway - but the children are insisting they come too!!
Had planned to go alone... 
Oh well maybe you can bribe them to let you go alone xxx
I've told them by the time I can afford it, they'll all be grown up and have to pay for themselves.
I figure that means I'll be going alone.
xxx
A private island, that sounds good. Your life is so busy, no wonder you crave a bit of peace. The carer's allowance, you get it because you have to commit that time to sorting out all his stuff. Don't feel bad.
(hope you allow visitors to your island though, we could develop a One Space mini-break service for harrassed parents, )
Oh yes. How good does a One Space mini-break service for harrassed parents sound??!
I think I've always been busy - except for after I became homeless as it was when my legs went wonky, and I couldn't walk. I think walking may have been my therapy before.
All I'm busy with (and I've been the scout hut this morning and do need to go back this afternoon, getting stuff ready for tonight, including a little birthday surprise for the Cub leader) though, means I can drop stuff and be with my son when needed.
I'd love an idea for a business though, so my son (and the others if they want!) could be involved, and hopefully lead to independance for him... Just need the idea!
son ran off from Scouts this evening. Luckily more than enough CRBd adults about for me to go and find him.
Life's so hard for him.
Given the pep talk, suggested ways that he could have behaved this evening so that he can try in the future.
**sigh**
Oh heck, sparkling lime, glad you found him Ok, it is harder as he gets bigger. Do you think that he understands now you have explained to him?
I'm not sure really. He hasn't got up yet (they all seem to be struggling with the change in the hour too), but it was a late night.
Hopefully get through today and then see what the weekend brings. Parents evening on Tuesday for his year.
Well that will give you a chance to talk to the teachers.
I am sleeping more this week, the hour must have affected us all.
Hi sparklinglime, do hope you and your son are ok xxx
I hope so too... I've just been driving around, just in case he's AWOL from school. I don't quite trust them to notice at lunchtime. Had to pop to the electrical to get the invoice for the cooker - and they've lost it!! People giving grant want it today (lucky I know her)... so took advantage of having the car out.
Didn't spot him though.
I've asked if he wants to come home at lunchtime, but he says no... won't accept lifts to/from school either. Had a battle when he was little to keep him communicating, I'm determined not to 'loose' him now.
Youngest home with pretty bad asthma. Just given him a big dose of ventolin to hopefully relieve it.
Feeling quite emotional, actually, writing all that down!
Such a worry.
Sorry to hear that youngest's asthma is bad as well.
Awwwh sparklinglime, I`m sorry you are having a difficult time, hope you have a better evening and that your son is ok xxx
Great big hug for you xxx
Sparklinglime, how awful for your son and for you, I dont know what to suggest, it isnt ok at all for anyone to do this to your son, what are the parents like?
Would you involve the Police, sometimes it is the only way espaecially if the school dont do much or anything about bullying.
i am so sorry this has happened xxx