This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
my little boy turned three april 2010 and for the last six months he has developed strange eating habits, i cook everything fresh for my son and the only frozen foods he has is homemade things, but recently due moving home and my son staying with his father who feeds him frozen food from supermarkets my son will now only eat food from a packet. i could deal with this if only my son would allow my too cook this food for him but once it has been cooked he says it tastes funny and refuses to eat it, he also has a bad habit of eating whilst still frozen and i have a very hard time getting it from him and reasoning with him about how sick it will make him, i have asked him if he has pain or anything but he says he likes the taste. i have replaced all frozen supermarket food with veg but he wont touch it. so i have tried a variety of things to combat this but he wont eat food. the only tie he eats is when you starve him for three days, he drinks plenty of water and still has one bottle of milk at bedtime but this is getting fazed out by being watered down more each night.
i have spoken to my doc and health visitor they both say it is a faze but im really worried as my son has not put on any weight in a long time, this is startiong to effect his energy levels and bodyily functions, i have spoken to his father as we share custody but he refuses to see an isssue.
is this just a control thing for my son, as he puts up with a lot from us the parents as we are seperated and i have a very strict routing with ym son and his father does not?
please help me
Hi Anna
thank you very much, you have made me feel so much better about things i actually had success in him eating i went back to making everything fresh and he helped bake a lamb pie and ate more of it that i did, its one small victory but i will take your advice and run with it.
very happy mummy
why are fathers like that. i dont like my kid having sweetes like that either i give my lui fruit or healthy snacks, his father actually gave my son a bag of fudge and choc for brekfast the other day... there should be a law against it, its cruel to do that to your kid
Sorry, just had to post as I'm a father.
: )
My mum took my son to the Sea Zoo and while he was there gave him a Mars bar, this was when he was about two and a half. He still remembers it, probably as it was the equivalent of an adult doing their first E. He's now nearly eight, he still goes on and on about it.
My wife used to bring bags of cheap sugary sweets and crisps and pop and squash to contact sessions when they were running, I used to be convinced it was to get at me but on reflection it was because she didn't know any better and was just trying to be nice to them in her own way.
There isn't really anything you can do about it, just don't let it get you down, if it's not your X introducing it all into their lives it will be school, or their friends there. If they watch TV the adverts are going to be brainwashing them for all those drinks and sweets, if you take them to the pictures that is all they will see and want, Pic & Mix, McDonalds, bright colours and toys, unless you go and live in a hut on a mountain it is all unavoidable.
You just have to battle on against the tide, keep home as healthy as possible. Mine know they don't get much in the way of sweets from me, if they do it's a major treat. But! I've just let go with what other people do, I see it as a treat for them, they go to relatives or friends houses and get doped up with sugar, saves me the money and they like it, the buggers : )
But just so you know not all fathers are like that, just like not all black people mug you, listen to rap music and smoke dope.
:D
Yep and it is not even "all parents without day to day care, whatever gender/colour or religion they are"
Sometimes the other parent will try to undermine your child's routine as a malicious gesture but some of the time they think they are doing the right thing. Plus, if you only see your child once a fortnight then maybe you want to look like the fairy godmother/father. There are lots of sides to this question 
Hi mykidismylife, that is great to read that your son helped bake a pie and then devour most of it!! 
bubblegum is right, we have to keep our home as we wish and try to ensure our children grow up with our values, it is important to keep talking to them about why 'we' in 'our family' do this or that. It gives them a good sense of self, even if they do rebel against it, surprisingly though, I think a lot of people do revert back to the way they were brought up regarding morals, eating habits etc, especially when they have children.
Big thumbs up for home cooked food! Also for your son helping you, hopefully he will enjoy and know how to cook as he grows up. 
Hi mykidismylife,
Food can be such a difficult issue...it sounds like your baking tactic was a winner though, is cooking something you and your son both enjoy?
In terms of medical advice I would urge you; if your child is lacking in energy and losing weight over a pro-longed period, to seek further medical advise. The NHS advise that children who refuse food be reguarly weighed and measured to ensure they continue to thrive.
http://www.childrenfirst.nhs.uk/families/experts/f/food-refusal_20-months.html
However, it sounds like you are taking really positive action and I'm sure your little one will soon be loving his food again.
HelenT
Anna, I've become my parents in respect of morals, eating habits etc, especially since having children :(
...and I even hear myself saying the same words that my mother said to me.....
I now understand why my mum used to get so mad when my bedroom was a mess! I behave in exactly the same way. If it isn't put away properly, it is going in the bin!!!
Anyway, back on topic, mykidismylife, how is the meal times going with your 3 year old?
Hi there mykidismylife, welcome to One Space.
I am sorry to hear that your son has picked up a strange eating habit, it is very normal for children of your son's age to pick up fussy eating habits and more often than not, like your GP and health visitor has suggested, it probably is a phase. However you do need to take control of it otherwise it could last longer than a few monts. It can be so worrying as a parent when our children refuse food, but you are not alone, I think we have all been there when ours were small!
Children often use food to 'assert' themselves, if they see that their behaviour causes a reaction, they will continue it.
Don't copy what his dad gives him to eat, it sounds as though you are really conscious of what you give him and I would stick to it, he needs to learn your rules and what you expect of him.
It is always a good idea to eat together, perhaps let him know 'family dinner' will be ready in 10 minutes and to go and wash his hands.
Serve up his food in small portions and sit down and eat yours, discussing anything but food! If he complains, take it on the chin and carry on the conversation. He needs to know that you expect him to eat it, there won't be anything else until the next meal time, (although you could give him a snack of fruit or yoghurt, if you are really concerned and he is asking for food, but only a very small portion). Children will not starve themselves.
We need to keep consistent and not let them know we are worried about it, not talk about it to others within their hearing, or question them during the day, 'are you hungry?' Meal times are meal times and if you don't eat then it goes in the bin.
It is a shame that your son's father doesn't see your concerns, however this can often be the case when parenting alone, my daughters dad used to give her a can of coke and a mars bar when she said she was hungry - at 3 years old??
Remember your house - your rules, don't let anyone undermine that.
What is his favourite food that you cook?