Need Advice about Ex

Hi Louise, I have tried that email, was thinking of changing my email, but i need to leave at least 1 line of communication open for him to be able to contact me on. now his gf is in on it and has been psoting nasty things on facebook, thnak god i can block them there so i do not need to put up with it there. He did tell me to get lost and i have been thinking about it, in terms that i have applied to universities that are no where near where i live, and i thought all i have to do is move, not tell him then close my email down so hecan no longer contact me at all. but not to sure if its the right thing to do,

He wants me to get lost but i really dont think he realises how easily i could disappear with M.

he never really does give me any notice. he has just told me that he will be picking M up at 10am tomorrow, even though i informed him 5 days ago that M will begin speech therapy tomorrow morning, and with health services you really dont get much say as to when you go.

So now hes told me to go and *********, i'll leave it at that as i have told him i can send him a copy of the letter form the health service. 

Why does it feel like im always fighting a losing battle

Hey Lousie, cheers for that, Speech therapy is good, glad M is going. its a shame though as now i am getting abusive messages from his mum as well. bloody people need to back off

Have tried, his parents have no legal leg to stand on when it comes to seeing M at all, so i can try and stop, but im used to M's behaviour so i know when he's been round. as for ex's gf well, she puts 1 foot out of line with me by threatening me then i go to the police and report her for it. she even thinks of touching me and i will have her arrested and of course her being a mum to five means more trouble then she realises. Ive already told my friends and family that if she comes near me and hits me like she is threatening to do, then i will not fight back, i will take the beating as i will report her and my ex to the police armed with enough evidence to even stop him seeing M period. just have to bide my time.

Hate seeing M so quiet and not himself after a visit from ex and ex's parents

hey tinkerbell2, i am doing that already, my ex already has had a run in with the police after i ignored some messages him and his half sister sent me, he came round to my parents as he knew i was there for a visit and smashed in the door.

So i will continue to ignore his and his families nasty messages, however, if they act upon them then i will sit back, take whatever they deal out and let the police and social services do what they have to do. i am not going to retaliate on them. 

But i may just do what he suggested and "get lost" however i will take M with me at that stage. Migt do it when i know which uni i will be attending next september.

it will be to do with going to uni more than anything, i never applied while we were together as he did not want to move from the comfort of his mother's home. So now i have applied and have chosen unis that offer what i am looking for, and also near to where i have friends who have offered to help out with looking after M when i am studying. 

plenty, have started looking at the areas around the chosen uni's for what properties are available. also looking at nurseries and schools for M, there is alot to consider before i can even move and i will not be able to do much until at least january when the acceptence letters start coming out

i agree there with you louise, i dont think any of us would chose to be in the position we are in now at all. but it does definiately make you a stronger person in the long run. 

Good news is that i have been accepted to become a Homestart volunteer, so pretty much i willbe helping people in similar situations as the ones we see but on a more one to one basis. Looks good on applications for uni courses that deal with children, so midwifery and nursing. 

training starts on the 2nd october, so not long to go, it gives me time to arrange child care for M.  My brother has offered to look after him on tuesdays while i attend this course. so pretty much my week is slowing filling up and is helping me and M to prepare for when i go to Uni as i will go in full time. Am really looking forward to this. 

Its eight weeks of training, plus its free for me to do and i get a qualification at the end of it. Also it is something i can continue to do while i am at uni as it can help with my care in the community area of studies

Thanks louise, cant wait to start. to me it is important to help others in similar situations and a lot of the time we do feel like we are alone.

Thanks Anna, it helps to know there is support out there for everyone.

Hi Anna, thanks for the encouragement, started the course yesterday and found myself face to face with a student who is neither a mother nor has had any experience with children as of yet, she was on the course as part of her studies, its something to do with child care, either social services or health visitor, but she definately coursed an outrage at the course between myself and two other single mums there, stating it was our fault we were single parents, its a good thing the trainer had sense to put us all on one side of the table and her on the other.

Some people are really ignorant, i certainly would not trust her if she was in a postion of child care, my poor M would suffer.

its good, very informative, it actually helps to understand the role of certain people that we as single parents come into contact with, its also eight weeks long, so should be fun. just hope silly girl does not speak to us like that again and to think she actually wants to work with children in a position of care, makes me wonder why most people hate social services or distrust the health profession.

its definately been a week of first this week for me. Ex still being a pain, but hes also up to something as he is being too nice to me now?

will definitely let you know, but i do have my suspisions about it any way as the behaviour is the same as before we got back together

well me and the other single mums and even the ones that have partners are going to try and do, they thought she was very negative and not at all conductive to the course discussion. Maybe it is the way she was brought up or something, but we are certainly going to try our best.

I thought that as well, as the last time, i was trying to get back to work and sort myself out, but i reminded him then, that it was a joint decision that i stopped working, now with me learning to drive, going on this course to become a volunteer and applying to university, it is showing that i am very very determined not to become one of these stay at home and scrounge of the goverment mums, like the girl he is currently with.

Itis either that, or when he told me to get lost a couple of weeks back that is exactly what i did, and took our son with me, he hadno contact with him for 2 weeks. it was to teach him a lesson, Keep up being nasty and i will dissappear from his radar with our son.

so am i