Hey, im new to this. so not sure how these things work. Im just looking for abit of advice really. As i dont have anyone at home to talk to. Me and my babys dad Split up last year, when my little lad was 1 and a half. Wasnt a good break up. Since then, we have tried to sort maintenence out between us, but he kept messing me about. sometimes not even giving me anything. so eventually i told him to forget about it. Ive since then met a new partner and we have our own place with me him, my little boy and his daughter from a previous relationship... hard work for a 21 year old. but. i love it. 2 weeks ago i went to the csa to get child maintenance, so i can get it regually and the same amounts each time insted of up down when my ex wants to. so since then my ex has been giving me HELL! He now says i have to provide everything for when he goes to his dads.. clothes nappies food.. etc.. is this correct? because i thought the csa took all that into considaration when working out payments?
He has also now started giving me alot of abuse. sending me horrible text messages callng me all the names under the sun. ive been ignoring them, trying not to rise to him, but im at my wits end..
He is on the birth certificate.. and he says he has half as much rights as me.. i havnt disagreed with him with this but when he refuses to bring my son home for days at a time i feel so helpless and dont know what to do. been told i cannot go to the police when he does this because he is on the birth certificate.. so im just really unsure about everything..
any advice is greatly appriciated!!
hi natlie
firstly save all your tex
if they are abusive then the police will have to intervene.
secondly if you feel that your son is not getting the care he need you can ask that his dad see him through a contact centre. cafcass will do an assessment. just because hes on the burth certificate does not mean he should have right to keep him. you need to seek advice from legal team to find out what to do. an alternative is for you to conact social services and tell them of his abuse and yur worries for your sons stability. they may advice you that he does not see him unacompanied. also they may give you advice on how to get conact centre visits. either way he will still be liable for the csa.
Hello natalie 2012
Welcome to One Space.
You need to have some legal advice. Contact our legal adviser by clicking this link here. Ask her about the time your boy's dad spends with him and whether this should be defined by a contact order.
I would have thought that whilst you may send clothes and a favourite toy or two that it would be sensible for your son's dad to provide food and nappies while he has him. Ask the Legal adviser if there is anything you can do to enforce this and whether you are able to say "If you are telling me that you are not prepared to feed him then I feel unsafe handing him over to you" or what she would recommend.