hey im new in here being single 4 nearly 2 weeks it was my choice got 3 kids under the age of 6. me and my ex were 2getha 4 6 years and over that time he became v controlling weneva i wanted 2 go newhere it was always why cant we do it 2gether, bascially there were a million and 1 reasons for splitting and it wasnt until i od'd in december that i realised wot i had 2 do xxxxxx
Hi loopylou. Welcome along to One Space. Sorry to hear you took an overdose, but delighted that you have walked away from the relationship that you were in. That takes a lot of courage, so well done. Your life must be very busy with 3 little ones. Look forward to 'chatting'. Take care.
Hi from me too.
I do hope you have a good support network of friends and family, as it helps so much.
This is a great board for company.
Hi loopylou, what a traumatic time you have had, WELCOME to One Space, I look forward to getting to know you.
Leaving your ex was probably one of the hardest decisions you have ever had to make so be proud of yourself for escaping, things will be tough for a while, but if you keep reaching out to all the professional support you can get, you will see it was also the best decision you ever made.
Take care of you and let us know how you are doing 
Hi and welcome from me too loopylou
Well done you on taking that first step and leaving an abusive relationship, do have a look at the link for the Freedom Programme that Louise has given as other users have found it really helpful.
Look forward to getting to know you. Are all your children at school?
my eldest is hes 5 my daughters are almost 3 and almost 17months so defintly got my hands full, it wasnt until recently that i realised that i was in an abusive relationship coz i thought he hasnt laid a finger on me but u forget that mental abuse is just as bad. xxxx
thanx everyone for all the kind comments, it is tough esp since im waiting for money 2 get settled down and very hetic with the kids but i no im gona b alot better for it, i just hope he steps up2 the mark soon and becomes a better dad coz rite now hes still sitting about feeling sorry for himself which is understandable in a way, but hes making hardly ne effort 2 get money sorted out and il only be holding off 4 asking for maintenance for a few more weeks.
im getting help for the depression that led to the overdose, im on tablets and theres therapy available if i want it but right now im so grateful to all the help of my family and friends my family have being helping with shopping and making sure me and the kids are ok, and friends which i thought id lost through him are now back in my life and are being so supportive, it really makes u appreciate them when they're there at the worse poss times xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey loopylou, nice to 'see' you again
It sounds as though you have found lots of support, which is always brilliant to read. If you have been offered therapy, I would strongly urge you to take it. You can learn sooo much about yourself and get a better understanding of yourself. Take the bull by the horns and go for it. Your family and friends can be brilliant, but whilst offered this valuable free resource accept with it with both hands.
I think that you may be waiting a long time for your ex to step up to the mark. I know that you believe he has it in him, that was probably what kept you with him for so long!
I am presuming that it is all the joint benefits that you have to re-arrange is it?
the only joint benefits we were getting were tax credits everything else im applying for new just gota wait for decisions mainly now xx
ur rite i did stay with him for so long coz i alwas thought he would change and i think il b waiting for a long time
im def thinking of going for therapy iv talked 2 a couple of mates and theyve been really helpful with advice but im realising how much iv got buried in me and def need to get me figured out, i no iv done the hardest part getting out of something that was awful xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey loopylou, yes it is so tough leaving. There will be other difficult things to face, but it sounds as though you are looking forward towards the future, rather than pondering the past.
Did you have a look at the Freedom Programme as Louise suggested?? It would be great to do this course either face to face or online with us, whilst having counselling.
A friend once said to me that counselling is the best present you can give yourself and loopylou I think you deserve it
How are the children? Do they miss their dad or are they happy that their home life has calmed down? Come and tell us what you think The Best Thing about being a Single Parent is..........?
they do miss their dad but they seem happier because the atmospheres alot better than it used 2 b
im def considering it, i have 2 look 2 the future itd b 2 easy just 2 sit and wallow like my ex is from the looks of it, i want my children 2 b proud of me when they get older,
Good for you loopylou (ooh it rhymes!!)
It sounds as though you got to the end of your tether! You still will probably need to go through the grieving process of losing what could have been, but you are dealing with it. It sounds as though your ex is not able to recognise what has happened, cope with it and find/learn ways to move on.
Have you seen him? Is he visiting the children?
yea he watches them when im at work and he has them on a weekend but sometimes it feels like i have 2 fight just 2 get him 2 watch them 4 longer than half a day
iv grieved a little bit not that much yet though
hes stil wantin me 2 bail him out wiv money and that even though hes givin me nothin 4 the kids yet but 4 the 1st time eva im bein strong with him and saying no which is a nice feeling
Hi loopylou
You need all your income to look after you and the children so I am really pleased to hear you are feeling stronger about him asking you for money. It is good that he is seeing the children as they will enjoy the time together and it gives you a break!
Hello loopylou
Welcome to One Space! Hope you soon feel at home here.
You have been through so much by the sounds of things, an abusive relationship leading to you taking an overdose. Well done on realising that you needed to end the relationship and for moving on with your life. Have you had much support around what happened during the lead up to the split? Counselling, for example? Have a look at The Freedom Programme (click), which we offer online, and for free, to help people recovering from abusive relationships.
You have three little children, which will make life pretty hectic. Do you have any help from family and friends nearby? I was wondering if you could get some extra help from a national organisation called Home Start? It is also worth asking your Health Visitor what is available in your area in terms of groups and meeting other parents
Do hope you will become a regular visitor, there is lots of friendly support here
.