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I have sat and tried to evaluate my life today. Divorced for 4 years I have been bringing my 2 children aged 12 & 15 up alone for the past 2 years 24/7. I have a new partner of 2 years and no family around.
I lost my job of 20 years last year, my best friend moved away, I lost a pregnancy (unplanned) in February, was unemployed for 6 months and to top it off my daughter was sexually assaulted by some boys in April and we have a pending court case.
Trouble is, I feel unable to cope. I tried the anti-dep but they left me tired all the time. I just cant laugh at anything. I have no energy to do things, like make packed lunches etc. My partner sometimes helps me but I feel im asking too much of him in our early stages together.
I just feel I want to scream help me all the time. I go to work and count the hours down everyday just wanting to get home.
What do I do?
Hi alone1969
Read your post and you've got alot going on. I am no expert but reading your troubles it seems that none of them were within your control. Does talking to someone help. In my local area they have free counselling for women.
Could you take off time from work for a bit until court case is over?
Hope things get better for you and your family soon.
Hello alone1969
You are very welcome here at One Space, there is support, information and online friendship here.
The story of your life in the last year or so is a list of things happening one after the other (which, as tired mum says, does seem to happen in life).
You did the sensible thing and saw your GP and tried anti depressants and these did not help. Did you go back to the GP and say so? there are several different kinds of treatments. As well as different medications there may be support groups locally or other helpful services.
Bessie suggests talking with a counsellor and I totally endorse this. Many of the things that have happened to you lately come under the heading of "loss" (the end of your marriage, your miscarriage, your job, your friend, and even the security that your daughter was OK, all those things have been suddenly "lost"), no wonder you cannot wait to get home each day and try to feel safe again, and get so emotionally exhausted that household tasks feel like a mountain to climb. My heart goes out to you. I wonder if the local Victim Support would be able to help you and your daughter as well? Click here to see their website.
There are lots of practical steps you can take once you feel a little stronger. Ensuring you have a good support system is one of them, so in the future there are people to lean on, I hear what you say about your partner and appreciate you don't always want to be moaning but men tend to like a "solution-focused" approach and if you can tell him that a. you are addressing your unhappiness and b. SPECIFICALLY what he could do to help eg do a chore, give you a massage, go out for a walk with you then it will help.
Keep posting and we will keep supporting you, Remember if you need to hear a friendly voice at no matter what time of the day or night, the Samaritans are great and have helped me on a few occasions, click here to see their number
Hi alone1969. Sorry that you're going through all of this. It's hard enough just coping with one thing, let alone all of that which you're dealing with. I would suggest going back to your GP and asking for different anti-depressants. It can take time to find one that suits you, but with his/her help, you will get there. Also like the others say, counselling? Perhaps just talking to someone outside of everything will help. Your partner has offered his help, so please take it, no matter what it is.
Please keep posting, so members of One Space can also offer you some support.
I'm so glad you've found us and hope that in some way we can give you some support.
What an awful time you're going through, so over whelming.
Thank you so much ladies. I have obviously found the right site. Its so hard. I have so many dark times and I sit in my bedroom sometimes putting on a brave face and im screaming inside. I cant explain how it feels. Its as if no one understands really.
I think not having any close friends doesnt help. I used to love seeing my friend and popping round each others for coffee etc and confiding in her like no other. Just doesnt feel the same with other people.
I will keep in touch. I almost feel like im in this half sleep like state at the moment, almost just surviving each day.
xxx
Unfortunately I cant really take any time off. I have only been there around 8 months and they have been fantastic in allowing me time off when the incident happened with my daughter.
Few weeks off would be lovely.....
Hi alone1969
I think we can all identify with having the dark days, and putting on a brave face for others. To the 'outside' world, we seem to be coping, but....... We're all here for you, so if you want to have a rant, or just to tell us how you're feeling, then we'll all listen, not judge, or tell you to pull yourself together or whatever.
Have you given any thought to going back to see your GP?
I know Sparkling will identify with what you're saying about your close friend. Do you still get to chat with her though or has that dwindled off since she moved?
Take care, I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
x
Hi there,
Im off tomorrow so I may make an appointment. Maybe some of its hormonal too?
My friend lives miles away. Even to far to travel to see each other really. I really miss having someone to have coffee with and share inner thoughts. Will have cyber friends now x
That sounds a positive idea, alone1969.
I am glad you have a day off as well!
Stick with us and we will all help you through 
Hi alone1969
Glad you are feeling a little more positive about things
Hi alone1969
You have certainly had a lot to cope with haven`t you.
I can empathise with much of what you have written, it sometimes seems like when one thing happens then everything else goes wrong too, well thats how its always seemed to be for me.
My daughter was very badly beaten up in July 2009 just after her 15th birthday, it wasn`t a sexual assault, the person that did this was a grown wooman of 28 at the time with 3 children of her own, it took forever to go to court but in a week she will be sentenced, something I am dreading right now.
Losing a baby no matter how early is so difficult isnt it, again I have complete empathy with you, I found that talking about what happened did help, that was after bottling it up for months and even to this day some of my closest friends dont know.
I can`t give you any answers to make you feel better but I can offer you the hand of friendship through here, I am usually around in the evenings, dont sleep very well so can be here till very late.
I do hope that things work out for you and that your daughter gets the justice she deserves.