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So all benefits will stop.
However, the good news is that rent and council tax stay the same until the end of the course.
I can see some very tight times ahead. Have had family conference and they are warned that it will be so hard seeing what their friends will have for Christmas...
Also pointed out that their friends with two parents may have a rather different budget to mine where only me pays for stuff.
I've emailed the money expert, but don't think there is anything eldest can claim.
Fingers crossed he'll get more hours at work. I have to pay £100 a term material costs - he had £60 back for this. I couldn't afford to buy a bus pass at the time, which was a shame...
We'll manage, I'm sure.
He was telling me that he texted his Father to see if he'd help with petrol. I've said that he shouldn't have done that really as we'll manage.
Ah well...
Thank you xxxxxxxxxx
Oh well, it will be interesting to see whether his dad helps out......hmmm...part of the reason you are struggling is his non-provision of Child Support
As you say, your son needs to do his very best to get some more work. If there are no actual "jobs" available, then could he do something like dog walking for people? or car washing? or shopping/gardening for old people? Your daughter is also old enough to be looking for work (I know this should not be the case but some employers seem to favour girls) I know I am draconian but I gave my son a pile of CVs on the day after his 16th birthday and said I expected him to find work. It isn't as mean as it sounds as they need to understand that by the age of 16 they are expected to share some of the responsibility for money-making for the family.
Unfortunately you are facing the fact that whilst "the system" is very good with provision for children, suddenly the rug is pulled from underneath you when they are a certain age, and I have seen so many parents reel from the shock. This is especially the case when there has been a substantial amount of child support paid, that stops as well (NOT a problem for you or I, sparkling 
)
Glad you have emailed the Money Expert though 
I was prepared for it though, so its not a surprise.
Eldest does wash cars - he gets to keep that, and then I "have" his EMA and wages! I know it sounds awful, but he does then get petrol money... I also have receipts off him 
or go down with him to pay for the fuel. Not that its a trust issue or anything... 
In a way, its all down to him re-doing fifth form and getting booted out of sixth form, so a "waste" (I don't like to say that, as it did teach him some lessons) of two years there.
I have told daughter that she needs to be getting a job, but she's too happy doing her volunteering bits. She doesn't go out mind, and never touches her EMA. She's even had the lecture before school this morning!
I know there isn't a solution, but it the biggest relief is knowing that the housing benefit doesn't change, and council tax too.
We survived before I got the DLA, so I know we will manage...
I know, and what you do isn't awful AT ALL. I just want all the weight not to be on YOUR shoulders, that's all and I think single parents in particular get so used to being the one and only family juggler over the years that it takes quite a shift of perspective to share the responsibility with our adult children
I've got a spread sheet on the desktop now, so he can see how much money he's having, whether its his or mine, and if I've had receipts or not.
He's quite surprised when he's seeing it written down.
Should have done it before really, rather than just telling him...
That's a good idea sparkling, I am not as clever as you re spreadsheets but I did find the list of bills and food costs, divided by three equals "x" very useful when I was ready to explain to my eldest why he had to contribute. I have got one ready for the youngest already, unbeknown to him heh heh
So I am now down by £104.23 a week IS. As eldest is now classed as an adult I'm not considered to be alone and so lose the severe disabled premium.
Have also been told by council that I have to pay £60.60 a week rent and £16.50 a week council tax.
Now, I really can't live on this much less a week. I know I have to, but really, that is a bit much when son is dependant on me.
Letter to MP, I think.
Blimey, it does seem harsh. Didn't your eldest just find a full time job, or am I mistaken??
He's in college full time, but has found a weekend job after losing his other job at the end of summer.
Six months - maybe five - left of his course. Somehow we'll have to manage.
Hopefully he will get some overtime at work.
I do find the disability bit harsh though. I had only worked my figures around losing the child element and the child benefit - as I knew that was coming...
Feel a bit sick really, but it will be a case of not leaving the house for anything other than essential things.
Hopefully I'll be working from January which might improve things slightly.
I just can't really boot out the eldest - however tempting. I'm angry at him today for failing at school, yet at the time I understood how hard things had been on him.
Lucky he's at college!!
I would feel the same Sparkling. I couldn't boot out C either (not that I could at age 9 anyhow)!!
I think it's awful that they can take the disability premium away from you. I do hope you write to the MP. Nothing gets easier does it!
Hi Sparkling, sorry to hear things on the money front are going pear shaped, i hope you write that letter to your MP is their any chance that you could appeal this decision?
I've posted the letter to the MP.
From what the girl was saying (and to be fair she was rather shocked), the decision stands.
At the moment, I'm not sure how we'll manage, but I'm sure we will. If the credit card - which has been coming down so nicely - has to be used, so be it.
Its only money.
Hope something crops up for you sparkling, maybe that MP will be able to do something will keep everything crossed for you
Any plans for the weekend?
Flambards.
Blooming big contractors. They've done a major error and called my friends business off site until the new year. They will then make decisions as to what will happen.
They are known to come into areas, sack the locals and bring in their own workers - a way of getting around the Welsh language policies in their contract.
So... Friends have just taken on an office to move into next week.
So... There goes my 16 hours a week. I know youngest is almost 13, but I do need to be about for the fifteen year old. Had his review today, and can see another crisis coming up with transition.
Would anyone happen to know if I can get away with 16 hours a week as a carer? Or would it need to be a lot more hours due to youngest's age? Not to worry if not...
Just would like to think of things being on track.
Not sure if this will help you, all about if you're a carer, and also you are disabled. Am looking for something with 16 hours for you as a carer too. here
Thank you so much.
I still need to be here, which is my problem - although with my friends, I know I could do stuff from home. New girl is very efficient though, and with the accountant's visit there wasn't a chair left in the dining room, so I was listening, leaning on the kitchen work top taking notes (kitchen/diner) quietly - as I do. Friend said hold on, this isn't right and shuffled everyone around so I was opposite the accountant and the meeting went through me.
She was not put out at all - she isn't in any way trying to fill in gaps to leave me out of things. My problem is that I'm not assertive enough.
Just after what happened yesterday, once again there may not be a job for me.
I don't actually think I would be any better off whether I work or am at home getting the £20 a week. Just this is going to be an awful few months.
Daughter leaves school in May/June - although benefits carry on until 31 August if she does decide to carry on in education (talking about college at the mo), so things are changing here - but I know about it...
We really have been incredibly lucky.
Sorry, rabbitting on a bit. Due to the slight panic I feel really
Oh sparkling, everything is up in the air for you....more insecurity after the invasion of your home. As things settle down in your house, you will start to feel better, I feel sure.
I am not sure about the carer rule, how about emailing the Money Expert?
I did, and sadly no good new there.
Eldest will have to get more hours - not that there are any...
I'm not going to worry about things until after the holidays. We've been through too much to not try and enjoy the next few weeks.
I'm so limited in what I can eat that I could live off cornflakes and milk Its the others that aren't so cheap to keep!
Ok I did not realise that you had asked about Carer's Allowance. The benefit system does have these "points", I have noticed, where the rug is suddenly and ceremoniously pulled out from under peoples' feet....the one about the youngest child being seven is a case in point.
I agree it is a good idea not to worry about it over Christmas. You are looking at a period of six months then. I know it will be a while till you get a response from the MP but let us know when you do.
Neither the twenty year old or my daughter can claim Carer's as they're in full time education.
Definitely a case of pulling the rug, unfortunately, but in all fairness it does have to be pulled at some point.
I remind myself that I did work full time for 24 years to try and make me feel better about things. But fail!
Debts from when my Renault blew up and replacing the engine and then it kept breaking down are the back breaker. I also used the credit card when I first moved in here to furnish the place as The Git had the furniture as I moved into furnished accommodation. While some was second hand, the beds, cooker, fridge/freezer were new. I've reduced them by heck of a lot though - but nice credit card firm has reduced the available balance to what I owe!
I'm all geared to working 16 hours a week from January, but the contractor has pulled us off the job because of something another firm has done.
Fifteen year old has DLA until July, so perhaps I'm better "just" doing the wages and my college work.
Fifteen year old had his review yesterday which was like pulling teeth trying to get him to agree to a Plan B. Next year is going to be horrible again like it was last year for him. And he will need me.
I just have to hope that the chap I spoke to in the council was right when he said that I'd still get full council tax and housing benefit. If I do have to pay £76 a week I really, really do not know how I'll cope as that will bring the loss to per week to an horrific amount that I really don't know how I'll deal with without resorting to selling my body fraudulently 
But yes, a period of six months. If only I could come up with this genius business plan that the whole family could be involved with so we could make a decent living
Six months feels at least like a finite period of time.
Ok I am not a benefits guru but I would have thought the housing benefit and council tax benefit would continue (unless you do start working the 16 hours of course) as although J is an adult, he is a "student" (the same as if he was at Uni for the purposes of those two benefits)
They did say that when I phoned them, but received some sort of note on Friday which I don't quite understand
That was another letter, just for them to hopefully confirm what they told me back in early November. The college will give J a letter to confirm he is a student there if needed.
Hopefuly the learning thing will be able to put something in the pot too.
I think if rent and council tax is paid that I shouldn't start work until the summer when he and possibly S have finished FTE...
I know I've said I'm not thinking about it until after Christmas but it's hard not to.
Daughter's told me to take her EMA - have said thank you rather than the usual noises!
Ok well let me know if you think I can shed any light on the contents of the note
Thank you.
Hi sparklinglime, have you been in contact with Contact a Family recently? their helpline now offers information ensuring that you are getting all the financial help you should be whilst caring for disabled child. 0808 808 3555
I have just been in touch with them and they have very kindly forwarded me information about current grants that are available for families in your position. I will send it to your personal email address.
I hope something there will be of some use.
Thank you so much for this Anna
MP's going to look into it.
Not holding out much hope mind... But grateful...
And trying to stay calm after the instalment thing of £70 a month for council tax.
Spoke to MiL - don't as The Git, she said, he's only a student. As if I'd ask The Git for anything!!!!!
Well, yes!
Thinking of you Sparkling. xxx
Panic attacks starting. I just can't make ends meet now.
It is indeed a big drop for you, sparkling......but please try not to panic. Remember what we said: six months.
I'll get my head around it.
It's the paying 75% of the rent plus £70 a month council tax that's thrown me.
I'm also telling myself that it could be five months...
Yes it could.
So after being given assurances that you would not have to pay these, you now do? I feel really unsure of this one, as I was assuming that J would be entitled not to be counted as an adult resident because he is a student. Anyway have a look here and put in your details to see what the calculator comes up with
Thank you.
I just hope these notices have crossed with my letter asking them to confirm that rent and council tax weren't payable...
I enter him as a dependant adult, but they're treating him as a non-dependant.
Yes I see. But maybe you can still get allowance for him as a non-dependant as he is a student and has a low income (I think)
They reckon not as he's over 20...
I don't like the way that it's looked upon as me moving in a boyfriend!! They should look at what the relationship the adult has with the main person (if you get my drift...)
Yes they should.I suppose people are looked at as "units" in terms of who could potentially be out earning rather than there being a common sense approach 
£578 per four weeks down (had housing benefit this week) (end of child benefit not included, also have to pay council tax)
Really I suppose its awful that I was even receiving that amount. That's jaw dropping really.
Need to start paying for dental care now as well for him.
Live in hope they'll reconsider the rent thing. Posted a cheque for £70 for this months council tax too.
Really don't know how to face this at the moment.
Get one thing sorted and think you can breath, and then another comes along. Daft to think that things might be copable really.
Cross as I'm getting angry that The Git gets away with things, when normally I don't think of him often at all.
Off to bed to cry.
sorry things are so tough - sending you a hug x
Ouch, sparkling, that is a lot to lose.
Have you heard from CAB about the home visit yet? Can you chase them?
I know this is a place you didn't want to go to but your two eldest are of an age and understanding that they need to be involved now. You are a team (Team Sparkling.....I like it) and they can be involved in the process of both bringing in money and taking decisions about economies. Our instinct is to protect our children but there comes a time when they are young adults and need to help take up the reins. I just want you to feel less alone with this. I also want to say to you that both my boys have had jobs since they were 16, whilst at school and college and the eldest gave me a lot of his wages at the time as it was sink or swim. In many cultures, they would have been doing this from a very young age. Don't take it all on your own shoulders........
He does give me his wage and EMA, but that doesn't cover the council tax and the rent.
Daughter is giving me her EMA, but hasn't been able to find a job.
We have had a family meeting so they know what's going on. Third child's 16 on Sunday - that will be tough on him. Daughter 18 next month - a write off already, never mind the 12 year becoming a 13 year old next month - may as well cancel that one
I'll be ok. I think MiL rattled me too though, which just sort of added to things.
I know we'll be ok. I'm just sulking really...
You're not sulking, you are very fed up and no wonder. The two eldest need to keep searching for work, though, it is easier once they are 18 in that respect, I have found.
Yes the MiL thing was very annoying....
Wish my mind would let it go though! My mind often doesn't co-operate with stuff like this
Yes I know what you mean!
One thing I do with my counselling clients is I ask them to visualise what would "contain" their worries. It could be a large chest with a heavy lid, it could be a chest of drawers with different worries in each one, it could be a tall cupboard, or something else....you pick the one that feels most appropriate to you. Whatever you choose, it has a large key.
Mentally place your worries in the container you have chosen. Lock it. Say to yourself "I am in charge. I have the key. I can unlock it anytime I want" . If you find yourself worrying inadvertantly, say "Ok these worries have escaped, I am going to allow them X minutes to play in my mind and then they are going firmly back under lock and key" Set your stopwatch on your mobile if you need to, then mentally put them away, saying "I am in charge". It takes a bit of practice to envisage this at first so don't worry if the worries keep escaping. The most important part of it is NOT the locking away, it is the affirmation "I am in charge"
I've written in my 'rant and rave' book (well a new one, as the original is................ in the garage!). Doesn't always help, but then I just write until it goes.
I'll try the container. Thank you.
Rant and rave book sounds an excellent idea too
Hi Sparkling, it is so hard isn't it? I really do hope the eldest can get more hours at work. My fingers are crossed for him. I know you've said before that your lot are really good when it comes to Christmas, and I can't imagine how you manage to budget on what you get, but somehow you always pull through, and the kids all know that you do whatever you can. Am thinking of you. xxx