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i'm new to this but i need help,
i've been divorced now for 2 years and oh my god i feel so alone and scared,
i have two beautiful children that i love with all my heart,
i can't carry on putting on a brave smile everyday and living my life as if everything is normal. i sit at night when my kids have gone to sleep and cry my heart out i don't want to be alone anymore.
i struggle with money and try to give my kids everything within my power.
but is it worth it am i giving my children a good life?
i don't know what to do anymore i don't want to be alone. i can't do it any more
xxxxxxxxxxx
Hi
This site has been a life saver for me. I often come here and ask opinions on stuff to do with the children. I don't have anyone else I can ask.
This site can calm me down when I'm in a panic, and lift me when I'm down.
My children are older now, so they are about in the evenings which makes a difference.
I sort of understand the crying when they're in bed. I did that and to be honest still do when things feel a bit overwhelming.
Please do keep posting. While the compnay may be virtual on here, there is often someone about.
Looking forward to getting to know you.
Hello alone and scared. Welcome along. I think we can all identify at some point with the tears once the kids are in bed, or even when they're not!! It's perfectly ok to cry to let out our emotions. The struggling with money too, and wondering if we're doing everything we can is also something we are/have been through. Somehow, we manage the money, purely by juggling it around, robbing Peter to pay Paul. Its awful, but we do survive don't we? You're not alone, so please keep posting, and we'll be here to support, listen, and try and help. How old are the children? How are you doing today?
hi all and thank you for your kind words.
first of all my children are 3 and 7 years.
they still see their dad even though sometimes i wish they didn't is tha bad of me?!!!
i'm not working but have been applying for jobs 20 this week!!! lets see if i get a reply!
my ex doesn't pay towords his kids even thigh he has left me 12.000 in dept.
everything at the moment is getting on top of me and day to day things are getting harder and harder.
i sometimes i feel i'm swimming in the middle of a lake and screaming for help and no one heres me. i'm just waiting for that rope.
at least today i didn't cry :)
Hi
so glad to know you didnt cry today, thats a start isnt it xxx
3 and 7 are both lovely ages, full of the word why at that age, is your 3 year old in nursery?
No it doesnt make you bad to wish your ex wasnt around.
The job situation is difficult for everyone and to find something that fits around the children, really really hard, I am also looking but not finding, what is it that you do when you do work?
xxx
i use to be a care assistant, but i've done lots really. at the moment i don't care what i do as long as it pays decent and i'm able to get rid of some of these debts that are hanging over me.
my daughter does go to nursery so i get a few hours break but all i do is sit and cry i've had enough.
things are just pants lol
xxxxx
Awwwh, it will get better, honestly it does xxx
Debt is an awful thing, I have been there and do still have some debt but its sort of managble now, one thing I did was to take out a social fund loan for £1000 and pay off all the little debts I had, socail fund money is interest free so I decided it would save me a few pounds in the long run and also as they take the money back before you receive it then you dont get tempted to spend it.
I dont know what your debts are for but have you tired to negotiate with them, sometimes particulalry when the debt has been sold on to a collection agency they are prepared to take less than is actually owed sometimes you can reduce the amount by up to 50%, might be worth having a think if you havent already tried that one?
Do you have any family support or friends that pop round, it is hard on your own and it is lonely but you will get there xxx
Hello alone and scared. Please contact here It is totally confidential, and they can give you advice regarding money situations. Have you been in touch with CSA regarding your ex not paying maintenance?
Are you able to get out and about during the Easter hols? I know money is difficult, but a picnic in the park, or garden maybe?
Hello alone and scared, great to hear from you again. Do use the link that hazeleyes has provided, this is to our own money section who can give you 1-2-1 advice. You need to have a plan for managing your debts, that is for sure, and they can point you in the right direction.
I was first on my own when my children were three and eight, so very similar to you. I know what hard work it can be. I remember the main feeling was that I was wading through treacle.Good luck with the job hunting as well.
Look at this link to Child Maintenance Options: even if your children's father is not working he will still have to contribute £5 per week and it is all about him sharing responsibility for them.
It is two years since you were divorced and it is time to start looking after you, I am so glad you contacted us, there is lots of support on here as I think you have already found. Do use the money link TODAY and take the first step towards your future!!
Hello there alone and scared
I can feel your pain i have been where you are at the moment i to was left with 3 children and a pile of debt by my ex wife.
Yes i admit i cried to many nights wondering how i was going to make ends meet and give my children a decent life.
Its hard dam hard the hardest thing i have ever done in my life my children needed me and i was weak,hurting and confused.
But please do hang on in there and things do get better with time one day at a time, talk to your debts and call them try and come to some arrangement with them.
Its been three years for me now and the scares are still there but i have moved on become stronger and a more wiser person for it.
Theres lots of good people on here who will listen and support you i anyway they can.
Stuart
Hi there
I haven't been on here for a while - but I joined when I was feeling down and blue and it really did help meet people on here who are in similar situations and who can support you. In fact tonight I came on here because I am feeling just how you described.... alone and I feel like crying.
My husband left us. He lives abroad and my children don't see him. He left a pile of debt behind. I discovered a good website for debt management and through good advice I am slowly getting myself back on track. I don't get any money whatsoever from him.He isn't working where he is and has no money...... and I know I will probably get my wrist virtually slapped for this... but I do send money from time to time because I just soft.. or a mug! But he can't even support himself. I work full-time but it's basically just enough to pay the huge mortgage.
Even though I don't have any answers for you, apart from get some debt advice - it will put your mind at rest and that will be one less thing to contend with, I thought I'd post this so that you'd know that you are not alone.
x
Hi mamoftwo, sorry you are feeling a little down today, would you like to chat xxx
Ahh thanks. Haven't quite navigated my way around yet. Is there a separate chat board? Don't want to hijack alone and scared's thread :)
xx
Yes if you go to the bottom of the threads home page as it were you will see the daytime and evening chat room, come and join us there xxx
If you look you will see the lastest posts for today, possibly me or hazeleyes, so just carry on from there, it isn`t instant chat but its still great!!!!!!!!! xxx
We are in the daytime one, wasnt sure so just checked xxx
Thanks - see you on there! x
Hope to see you there too. Not sure if I'm on line for long though, but I will catch you all soon. Have fun!!!
I wish I knew how to do that hazeleyes xxx
tiredmum, I did it wrong, hehe, so it has been edited, lol
lol xxx
here Louise or Anna will have to tell you how though, it's beyond me, hehe.This is the day time chat room but it doesn't matter eh?
Hi mamaofwo, it is good to see you again, but I am sorry hear that you are feeling down. Will pop over to Chat and hope to catch you there 
Hiya Louise
Had a busy Easter with the children - ended up doing Easter egg hunts. Just taking a 5 min break from watching Ice Age 2 so thought I'd pop on and say hi. Hope to catch you on catch soon.
Tiredmum - I was so eager to get onto chat the other night I didn't even realise you said you were on the daytime chat and I went straight to evening chat - lol
Hope you have all had a good Easter. Chat soon xx
Hi mamoftwo, that made me smile xxx
Hope you are ok xxx
Hello mamaoftwo
Glad you had a good Easter. There seems to have been a lot of chocolate around for all of us! What does this coming week hold for you?
Hi Tiredmum - I'm ok thanks. Slowly heading in the hours of insomnia. Hope you had a good Easter.
Louise - there was far too much chocolate and because I don't let my two eat too much chocolate I obviously have to help them out - ha ha ha. There's always tomorrow to be good and strong (again).
Well fortunately I have this week off work - April was/is a great month. I had the week before last off and now this one. Tomorrow and Thursday are 'me' days as the children are back at school, however I need to go and sort bills out and tedious solicitor stuff ;( - but at least I am getting my head round things that need to be done instead of sticking my head in the sand still.
Hope you all have a great week - mind you I'll probably be on here again tomorrow.xx
You are welcome anytime
Glad you are getting things sorted, it truly is best to do so even if painful, you will feel better afterwards (honest!)
Dear alone and scared
Firstly you are not alone, you will see by reading posts on thsi site that there are lots of us here and we all help each other along. You are very welcome here
I could give you lots of practical information about making new friends and turning your life around, and am happy to do so at a later date. Right now, it sounds as if you need to talk a bit more about how you are feeling. How old are your children, do they still see their dad, are you working at the moment and how is that for you? Do let us know how you are feeling today and we can all support you through this.