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Hello,
Im due my baby in novemeber this will be my second. My partner and i have recently split and this will be our first child together.
He is demanding that he has the child 4 days a week thursday to monday, as he thinks there is 8 days in the week. I am planning on breast feeding to give the baby all the goodness she needs to get started i have told him this and he said to ' ok but when she stays over at mine i will give her formula'. I dont think he understands a mother can not breast feed and then the father give her formual, i understand combined breast and formula but not what he is saying. he wants to take her to his a few days after she is born as he believes the first 3 months is really important between a dad and baby, i have told him this is not the case the rest of her life is important. He is saying i am being controlling, yet i have said you can come every week to see your child and once she is old enough we can discuss sleep overs, but this is not good enough. Can some one please help me as he is now saying he is going to take me to court, i feel sorry for this baby as she is not even born yet poor sole :(
Hi Kirsty,
I think your ex is on another planet on this one. He is insane to think any court in the land will seperate a newborn from its mother for 4 days a week. He needs to get real. A baby is not a possession that can be shared 50/50 contact has to be arranged with the childs best interests in mind. If you are breastfeeding (and if even if your not) it is clearly the case that a new child needs to have continuos contact with its mother.
I wouldnt worry too much about your ex threatening to take you to court as on this one the courts will be on your side.
Thank you for your comments, really means alot having someone to talk to. I have told him that i will not talk about this until the baby is born as the stress wont do baby any good. I have told him many of times he can see her and if he cant get over i will kindly take her over and stay with her there for a few hours, i dont think a child should be without its father apart from those that mistreat their children. Im now thinking weather its a good idea to put him on the Birth Certificate or not.
xxx
Personally I think you should put him on the birth certificate and even if you dont, he will be able to go to the courts and get Parental Responsibility anyway.
You did right to tell him not to contact till after the birth x
Hi KirstyH, your partner is trying to scare you and it is working. This is not healthy for you or your baby to have so much worry.
Is it possible that you can have limited contact with him at the moment?
Both one space legal expert and several lawyers have told me that children do not get over night visits until the child is 3- 4 years old (this is normal court rules) and I'm pretty sure a lawer would tell your ex the same! A new born shouldn't really be away from its mother during the first 6 months or so.....put your foot down and say she will not be going to his for over nigjt visits ESP if your breast feeding- he sounds so stupid (sorry to say) and living in LALa land- maybe suggest he gets a book or classes on parenting before you even let him near the baby!
Hi
At the moment he can't be demanding anything. Until the baby is born he can't be making demands. There's five months to go, and in theory, I'd be telling him not to contact you. You will contact him when the baby is born.