This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
I cannot find the thread that I started for my son being bullied, so have started another. Louise, if you find it, not sure if you can do it, but could you put this post onto the bullying one please.
First week back in September, my son was kicked by the same child that has been doing awful things, since year 1. Son now in year 5! So, in September, C tells me that the teacher saw, and dealt with the boy. NO APOLOGY to my son. I didn't follow this incident up with a letter. Then, same boy uses the toilet, decides not to wash his hands, but thinks it's okay to wipe his dirty hands down C's fleece. Back in the playground, C won't play with him (who can blame him) so boy tells teacher, both boys are made to apologise to each other?? Next the boy informs teacher that C has said something horrid, and without getting any side of the story, immediately tells C not to say such horrid things. Later that afternoon, boy decides to pull C's hair several times. When TA is told, she merely says to tell the teacher! Following all of this, I wrote a letter (one of many over the years) and explained that this sort of behaviour has been going on since year 1, and like the years before, I do not want C and this boy to sit near each other, or for C to play with him. Teacher completely understood. Again, I was told, that other parents have been complaining about same boy (again, nothing new there)
Yesterday, C was kicked several times by same boy, witnessed by the PE teacher!! I was gobsmacked. Was told this morning, that the matter will be dealt with. C was also told yesterday that teacher would also deal with the boy. Was it???? No, of course not. Instead, and I'm livid about this, and cannot get my head around it, C was told he HAD to play with this boy, as his feelings are hurt when C doesn't. If C doesn't play, this calls for detention!!! What the hell is going on here? What about my son's feelings, when he's been kicked, punched, pinched, hair pulled? Does he not have feelings and rights?? The boy wasn't even told to apologise about yesterday's incidents, no missed play or anything.
I really am so ruddy angry, and not sure how to go about it. If I'm like this in the morning, I shall seriously blow my top. How dare they make my son play with someone, who is nasty, sneaky, and horrid. How dare they not acknowledge that my son also has feelings.
Being end of term, the teacher won't have time to see me after school, as they all head off.
I could cry for C, I honestly could. It's totally unacceptable
Thankyou Sparkling (oh wise one) I know about the proceedures, but to be honest, where would I stand in all of this, job wise. C comes first of course, but, well, you know. I'm going to start googling things in a moment, not that that will help of course.
Just so sick of all of this
It won't affect your job at all.
You are Miss hazeleyes the TA at work.
You're Miss hazeleyes the parent with this.
They will see it the same way too. Just don't discuss it with anyone during the working day, other than the head, so the staff can see you're identifying the difference.
Just try not to push the teacher into the wall when you accidentally trip up and shove into him... 
I don't know what the answers to any of this is. As you know, with C it is still an issue. It started when he was probably in Year 1. I don't think it was the reception class. This vile lad will stop and stare at me when I pass him too.
I promise to try not to push teacher into the wall, hehe
Why are some children so vile!
I have no idea...
I was just following you to bed, hehe (chat thread)
Good morning hazeleyes,
I won't tag this on to the other thread as this feels like a fresh look at it
I am not surprised you feel so furious. It is awful when teachers just give you that "blank look". Now, I can understand what they are saying (ie that this boy feels hurt that C does not want to play with him) but surely the whole structure of discipline is based on consequences? ie if you are horrible to person X then do not expect person X to be your friend or to want to play with you. It seems inconceiveable that C should be forced to play with him. The only logical or slightly mitigating circumstance I can think of is that this boy has a dreadful medical condition that you have not been advised about.
Sparkling, as ever, has given you some great information. You as a parent are separate from you as a worker BUT it is important that you are not seen to be distracted in your paid work hours by the fact that you are on the premises. I think rather than continue your complaints about this boy directly (which have not had any effect) then a good tack to take would be what sparkling has suggested....ie that you need support from the school re C's emotional distress, and lay it on thick. Do you see how this changes the emphasis? Rather than asking them to attack the boy, you will be asking them to protect C (the end result is the same in terms of them not sitting next to each other, him not being forced to play with the boy etc)
Did you ever get in touch with Kidscape?
The other thing I would like to say is that this issue cuts to the very heart of us as parents. I remember only too well that feeling when something happened to one of my boys...and our instinct, quite rightly, is to defend and protect our child. However,anything we do is more effective when we have regained control of our emotions...and so getting through today and dealing with it in a more cool fashion after the hols might be more strategic?
Hi Hazeleyes,
What a nightmare for you and C. I really do wonder about strategies schools put in place sometimes.
My A was bullied by a boy when she was in year 2, the school initially dealt with it really well but then a few weeks later I was asked to come to talk to the teacher because she was concerned that A and this boy had been playing together and she felt this meant that A was deliberately seeking him out to get him into trouble! I suggested that maybe they had got over their issues and were now friends which was surely a good thing, as the boy hadn't complained about A and she hadn't made any more allegations against him then I felt the matter was over. But no, the teacher decided that A should not approach this boy anymore, and told her and me that if she did she would be the one in trouble!! I still can't get my head around that one 
.
I think louise is right about dealing with it when you are not so angry, I know about myself that I say all the wrong things when I am annoyed and upset about something.
Hope today went well for you both x
Hi Hazeleyes, what a totally frustrating situation, everyone else has given you some great advice all ready, the only thing i would suggest is that you keep copies of letters and dates of when you have spoken with teachers and what it was about, as you will then have documentation to back you up if you have to take this further.
Hi all. Too late, (not logged on, so just read all words of wisdom) I played it by the book yesterday, and spoke to teacher at 3.30. During the afternoon break, I broke down, because a TA was telling me how great C was, and that he'd helped her, by playing with the boy. Guess I was emotional hearing that, thinking of him not wanting a detention etc. So, end of the day, C came out, and immediately ranted about the boy, and what had happened that afternoon. Afraid to say guys, I saw red, I was so upset. This kid was glaring at me, could not believe it!! Left C in another classroom, and then teacher and I chatted. Firstly, asked him what he'd said to C, and whether it was true with regards detention. He seemed to find that oddly funny! Apparantely, he tried this out last year, and it did the trick. (not this year, it won't) I then pointed out that no child can be made to play with someone who thinks it's okay to be so nasty, and that no way was C going to play with the lad. Teacher nodded. I then asked if he (teacher)had also said that the lads feelings were hurt, when C didn't want to play, he said yes, he'd said that. Again, I launched into it, by saying, yes, I understood that the boy's feelings must be hurt, but it was hardly C's fault, it's not him attacking the lad, as everyone knows, it is the lad doing the attacking. I then said, I was appalled that not once does anyone think of C's feelings, never asked how he feels etc, and how upset he is by everything. We then spoke about the events of the afternoon, after my son had played with this child, the boy was slapping continuously, shouting in C's ear, that he was stupid, horrid, and lots of other stuff. Then taunting C by saying that he had to play with him, otherwise he would get a detention, then laughing about it. Incredible. After this, the children watched a movie, and the boy was sitting in front of C, and proceeded to kick him from behind!! The teacher was unaware of any of these things, as he hadn't been with his class at the time. C did report it to an appropriate adult, that knows the history, but the boy was just told to stop, no discipline, nothing. I asked the teacher how on earth this can be fair? To be honest, he didn't have any answers. The boy has special needs, and has social issues, and I was told he is trying to make friends. For god sake, are these professionals blind to what is going on? I have left it, that C doesn't play with him, is giving no detention, and if he so much as hurts C again, I shall be back in there
Sounds rather good to me... Follow it up in writing perhaps?
Hi hazeleyes, I think you did really well - what difficult circumstances.
You have tried again and again to talk with the school and you feel like you are getting nowhere. I think sparklinglime's suggestion of putting it in writing is an excellent one.
So, I am thinking that generally in life there is always a 'bully' whether it be in the workplace, mate in the pub or a stranger. So now we need to turn our focus on C and how he will learn to deal with it.
Does C have other friends? What tactics have you given to C to divert the situation or remove it? Has C ever retaliated? (I am sorry if I am asking old questions..)
Hi Hazeleyes,
Is there another school nearby C could go to? Maybe you could move him? My friend did this after years of problems, she had always been reluctant as she didn't see why her daughter should be the one to move, but in the end she did it and has never regreted it. Her daughter is really settled and has made new friends and they have put the bullying thing behind them.
Hi all. The letter shall be written this week 
Anna, I have always told C the best way to deal with the lad is to ignore. To be fair, he has, but after 5 years, it must become draining on him. He has never retaliated, and I also think this is the right thing to do. Some of the other parents have now told their kids to hit back, do it in a way that is sneaky (which is what the boy does) When asked, deny they did anything (which is what the boy does) This of course is the wrong thing to do, but I can actually see where these parents are coming from. Pq, C has lots of friends, I've suggested he move from the classroom (as little as contact as possible with the lad) and we've spoken numerous of times about leaving the school. Again, he won't consider it, and I guess like your friend, I feel as does C, why should he be moved, when he isn't the problem. It would break his heart if I did this, and I feel a bad enough parent as it is, without doing this. Blimey, he'd hate me forever 
Hi Hazeleyes, i am wondering if the other parents would be willing to write to the school about this childs behaviour towards their children, i would imagine that the school have a behaviour policy which you may want to ask to see. I'm thinking that if they keep getting complaints about the same child by more than one parent they would have to take action.
Hi Sally. Almost everyday, there is a letter sent in about this boy. The behaviour policy, well, that might as well not exist!! One of the other mums, has even had meetings with the Board of Governors, which again, results in nothing. Like you, I would have thought that action would have been taken, but nothing is ever done, which is why the whole thing is so frustrating. Also sends a message to the children, that are being hurt by him, that he can do anything really, get away with it, and the likes of them, don't matter.
Hi hazeleyes, so there have even been meetings with the Board of Governors too
Have a look at this, unfortunately the fabulous ACE organisation has closed down, however their website still holds some useful information. A Practical guide to parents legal rights - Making a complaint
It may be time to involve your local authority. Not only to protect your son, but also for the wellbeing of this other lad, who obviously has some very difficult issues, that don't seem to be addressed.
Good luck hazeleyes. As I said the other day, when this lad gets to secondary school he is going to find things very different. By not dealing with it, the school are doing HIM a disfavour as well as C and all the children whom he bullies.
Wow, this is truely unbelievable, and I haven't dealt with it as yet, apart from writing it down for my own benefit.
Teacher comes out, all smiles to the lad's mum. She has a huge grin on her, and starts rubbing the teacher's arm up and down. Not just once, but several times. You know the sort of thing, as if she's saying 'you're doing a great job'.
My lad comes over, he's been pushed down the stairs, did get an apology I have to say, but that's it. No missing break or anything. Nothing is reported to me at end of the day, and yet, teacher has ruddy cheek to report that this lad has had a good day!!!
He does have issues, and he is being monitored, and it's being noted down, but come on. Shouldn't the mother have been informed about what he'd done? Or is it, 'well, we won't say anything, don't want to upset her'. I know a few things, but cannot put them on here, just in case.
My son does matter, he does have feelings, and this boy is a bloody menace, bully, and he goes out on reward trips with the school. I cannot fathom this at all.
Let's teach our kids to behave badly, get rewarded for it, certificates, afternoons out, and laugh openly in your victims faces!!!
Hi Hazeleyes it does sound rather unjust behaviour, i suppose we don't know what the mothers story is which could be part of the acceptance of his behaviour, though they are not doing this boy any favours, whatever has happened this boy still needs to be tought how to behave towards others.
This rewarding children that have behaviour issues has been abit of a sticky issue for a while, especially as children that generally behave well because thats the way they have been tought too, often can see the injustice of that kind of discipline system.
Thankfully due to cut backs my youngests school no longer adhere to this kind of reward system. I think Anna's earlier suggestion of writing a complaint to the governors and local authority is the only other option available.
Hi sally, this has been done before, governors and local authority. Not by me, by one of the other parents that has continous problems. Nothing is ever done. The Headmaster doesn't like to upset the parents it seems!! C definately picks up on the injustice of rewarding bad, but nothing for the good. It's appalling in my eyes, and makes my blood boil.
Last week, some lads broke a plastic clock, and knocked a display down. The teacher went mad, and for punishment, they weren't allowed to take part in an activity outside of school. A note was also written to all the parents. Okay, this is the correct thing to do, and only right I feel, but no punishment for hitting, pulling hair, kicking, pushing someone down the stairs?? Definately not right. He clearly has behaviour issues, and he will NEVER learn unless he is punished. In the meantime, C is expected to rise above it, take it on the chin.
I think another letter, saying how distressed C is (even if he isn't), and how his fear towards this lad is making it difficult at home and to get him to school.
Letter to head and letter to chair of governors. Put in the letter to the head that a copy is going to the Chair of Governors as you don't feel their anti-bullying policy is protecting your son...
xxxx
I think sparkling is right hazeleyes. I know you say that a letter has already been written by another parent, but sometimes its the volume of complaint that attracts attention, start writing and don't give up until you get the response you want.
Thankyou Sparkling and Pq. Will tell you another odd thing (well, I think it's odd anyway) Monday's incident, I wasn't informed, and the mother is told that all was well. Yesterday, teacher came out, wanting to speak to this lad's mother and another mother (the one whose son has problems with the 'bully') Apparentely the bully did something to other boy, and as always, this other boy retaliated. So, both parents are spoken too separately about it, and yet, when the bully does something to C, who doesn't ever retaliate, then nothing is said, or done. Does anyone else find this strange, or can offer an explanation?
Do you think the teacher treats you diferently because you're a member of staff?
That isn't the case Pq, as it was going on way before I joined the staff. I deal with this as a parent, at the end of the day, and don't discuss it when I am working.
I think it's because C does seem to take it on the chin, at school, is very forgiving by nature, so maybe they think it doesn't bother him. He has told me that name calling hurts him more, as it stays in his heart, whereas a bruise, a punch etc, the pain will last for minutes. How sad is this? Breaks my bloody heart, that much I do know, and I would love for him to punch this kid. Yes I know, I shouldn't say this, but if it's good for one child, then why not mine? C would never raise his hand or anything in school, yes, he will defend himself when we've had a friend here, that has hit him first, then he'll hit back, but that's because I'm present I guess. It is no wonder that children are hitting back, because nothing is done, and the 'bullies' can and do get away with things, especially when their parents threaten legal action on staff, for trying to get the child to tell children why they call them names, hit them etc. How ridiculous is this, legal action, for trying to sort things out??? Which is why I imagine, no teacher will deal with a particular child in the way it should be dealt with. The parent should face up to the fact they need to help the school sort things, instead of burying their head in the sand, and denying there is a problem.
Hi hazeleyes, this is so frustrating for you.
I really think you need an explanation as to why the school are dealing with this situation as they are. An answer to why if C retaliated then you would get called in, but when he 'takes it on the chin' you are not even informed. I want to know how they expect you as a parent to deal with it.
I think it is fair to speak to Head or Deputy and ask them that question 'What are you expected to say to C when this repeatedly happens?' In the adult world C would be able to press charges. He needs to have his voice heard.
Hi hazeleyes I hope you are ok. I have girls m and t aged 6 and nearly 3, I also have a 10 year old nephew who can be quite grotesque, but I dont think its exactly his fault, yet.
I wondered what c thinks he should do, or what he would like done about it? Perhaps you could have a casual chat with him to find out his general feelings? I must say from reading these posts that I think this boy is trying to make friends with c, does c like him at all?
When m started school I told her always be kind, if someone is nasty to play with someone else, never hit anyone...dont really tell a teacher unless someone really hurts you and doesnt say sorry...its hard for everyone to get along with people, even most adults including me but I told her to tell me if she was worried about anything and i would try to help.
After a few months she started saying nearly every day a girl pulled her hair hit her kicked her etc , i said shes probably trying to make friends, especially if shes got older brothers sisters cousins, that might be how they play ? After a few weeks of her complaining I asked her if she liked this girl she said emphatically yes! I suggested that she should tell her then, for example I really like you and id like to be friends but when you hurt me pull hair etc i dont want to play with you. I said she might have to think carefully to make sure she says what she means and she could practice if she liked she did and seemed to like the idea they are friends now.
I would listen to c as hes the one experiencing it first hand, hes probably got a solution but might need a bit of help even if its just mum listening calmly. I did strengthening families/communities parenting course through onespace which had a section about helping children solve problems, i think it helped me with this.
best wishes, good luck
Hi hazeleyes, an interesting perspective from fairyface (thanks for the post ff)
I don't think you are treated differently because you are staff as this has been going on from well before you were working there.
Anna's suggestion is excellent, but you need to be able to do it calmly (very difficult when your every instinct is telling you otherwise) Maybe you could even spell it out in black and white and ask the direct question: is there something about this boy in terms of his background, or medical condition that justifies your "special treatment" of him?
But fairyface's suggestion is interesting...I wonder how the boy would respond if C said to him "I would like you if you stopped being violent, could you stop being violent so we could be friends?"
I have great empathy with you, Hazeleyes, it is excruciating
I have tried that tactic with my lot, and it can work. I also think that hazeleyes and C have tried this over the years, but its gone beyond that...
I know that a regular bully of my now sixteen year old quite enjoys the challenge of seeing what he can get away with even now, and in this case it started in nursery school.
It's good to know it can work
Hello fairyface. I have spoken to C about this, for many years, since the day it started in fact. What children would like, and what they get are two different things of course. He would like to see this boy outside the Head's office (as other consistent bullies are) He would like to see this child miss his breaks (as other bullies and trouble makers do) He would like this child not to be given 'special' treatment for his actions. Quite simply, my 10 year old would like to feel counted. My son has tried on numerous occassions to play with this boy, and for his efforts, he has been punched, hair pulled, kicked in the stomach. He has also told him how he won't have friends if he keeps hurting people, but this lad laughs in his face.
So, you see fairyface, both myself and my son have explored different avenues. From day one of school, children are told to report any hitting etc to the teachers (it is the school's responsibility afterall to protect our children) I have encouraged my son to do this, as I believe it is the correct thing to do. He doesn't hit back, which I've also told him not to do (but I would like him to do) This is also told to children from day of starting school.
This boy is in no way trying to make friends with my son, and I wouldn't want my son to be friends with him now anyway. We've tried this angle before.
I'm glad everything worked out for your daughter though.
Hi hazeleyes, it does sound as though you have tried every angle, but what are we missing? There is always another alternative, or another tactic to try.
I am still in the arena of you writing all of this down and sending it to the school and then asking for them to make an appointment with you so you can discuss it in more detail. What do you think?
Oh you poor thing :(
If I were you I'd see the head teacher and demand action to be taken, say it's ridiculous siding with the bully and if it's not sorted or being sorted within a week you'll go to a higher authority. If you know the parents of the other children being bullied ask them to go with you.
It does seem a bit strange, schools tend to be on top of bullying a bit more now so are you 100% sure you're getting the full story? If it carries on I'd be inclined to send c to a few kick boxing lessons and tell him to belt the bully one, I doubt the bully would carry on after that and when your bought into school because of it tell them you decided to tell c to deal with it himself after the teacheers continually ignored him
Hi Colie. Thankyou. I don't believe for a minute that schools are on top of bullying these days. In fact, I would say, they seem to brush it under the carpet. I am 100% sure that I'm getting the whole story. The kick boxing sounds good, but that isn't the way to go I'm afraid.
I hope it gets sorted for you, I know it's not the ''right'' way to do things but I do think bullys stop if they know the victim will fight back and if my son ever gets bullied I'd tell him to fight back rather than faff about with teachers and get upset going to school every day.
Hello hazeleyes, I picked up a leaflet last night that I thought might be helpful, it is for a website called BullyingUK It is part of the Family Lives organisation (used to be Parentline) I am posting a link to a page here that lists all their articles and resources and even goes into things like legal rights, I think you will find it very interesting 
Thankyou Louise, shall take a look.
Do follow it up in writing. Always, always, follow it up in writing.
What's in black-and-white, unlike even the most helpful-sounding face-to-face discussion, cannot later be denied (unless the teacher gives permission for any meeting to be recorded - frankly unlikely, I would suggest). This is the voice of experience you hear, in dealing with teachers and the educational establishment.
What you're doing is right, and for the right reason. Don't accept injustice on behalf of your own child - nor yourself. In short, don't be a victim too.
There is rightly a process to deal with bullying - and despite the bullies and the perhaps onerous and uncomfortable task of dealing with them and their habits, it must be done. Your childs teacher is obliged to deal with this - it is an obligation of their well-paid employment, so hold them to it without fear or guilt as that is the right thing for you to do as a parent and the right thing for them to see to as a teacher. This is what is just - don't be fobbed off with injustice.
Chin up, head up, keep going forwards - right is on your side and everyone who reads your posts will see that and stand with you I reckon.
Good luck - but make your own!
Well, here I am again in this thread!! Back to school on Tuesday, and it started again with the hitting and punching. It was at the end of the day, so although the teacher had a word with the boy, no punishment was given! The teacher wasn't in yesterday, but C came out and told me that the boy hurt him more than ever. I spoke to the PE fella that comes in, and he admitted that what C is going through with this lad is bullying, not only physical but also verbally. He himself has reported things, but like me, is feeling like he is banging his head against a brick wall.
Not sure if I've said this in previous posts, but I do know that the school has been threatened with legal action (from this boy's parents) Most of the teachers have now said they felt intimidated by them!! I feel that my son is of no interest to them whatsoever. Last night I was so angry about it all, tried to speak to Head, but in a meeting. Tried my boss, but also in a meeting. Today, hopefully, I will speak to the Head of year, and see if he can help in anyway, but very much doubt it, from what I've already heard. Obviously, board of govs know what is going on, as they've had meetings, so I guess they all feel intimidated.
I honestly feel I am letting my son down, constantly telling him that I am doing everything I can in the school, but in his eyes, maybe he doesn't agree and who can blame him! Last night he told me that he honestly would like to hit him, but again doesn't want to get in to trouble, but I've told him that getting into trouble doesn't really matter, he is sticking up for himself. Wrong I know, but after all the punches, kicks, being dragged, surely he has the right to defend himself? I told him that I certainly wouldn't tell him off, even if the school did. If an adult was being bullied, then that adult wouldn't stand for it, so why should he?
I have (in the past) been in touch with different sources, regarding bullying in schools, and have followed the proceedures, letters etc. When I mentioned it all to the new boss earlier this year, to get some advice, she said, 'well, you really don't want to take it to the Board of Govs do you?' Not sure if she meant because of me being there, workwise, or what!!
C also said last night, that he wishes the boy would cause him serious injury, like break a wrist or something then maybe something would be done, and maybe he would get told off.
Anyhow, today is another day. Needed to vent
Gosh, not surprised! Wow that is a real bombshell if the school and its board are not taking any action because of the fear of legal action!!!!!! Good luck with seeing the Head. I totally sympathise with C thinking a drastic injury would be needed....
Oh hazeleyes, what a nightmare for C and for you. Do you think the time has come to seek help outside the school. Is there a governong body you can go to? Does ofsted help with this kind of thing? I think you have been more than reasonable and patient about this. Another suggestion, although a bit underhand, would be to go to your local paper!
Sending you a big hug, hope C has a good day today x
Oh hazeleyes, it is so upsetting isn't it, I am sure that I have sent a link to you about this before, but do have a look again it is Making a Complaint - a practical guide to parents legal rights.
It looks like ACE Education have received some more funding as their website is live again Look on the top right hand corner there is a telephone helpline with the opening times.
I hope today was a better day for C and that you got to talk to the Head.
Hi all. Thankyou for replies and advice. I did ask to speak with head of year, I worked with him last year. Anyhow, before I got the chance, another member of staff told me to take it direct to the Head, as the boy had done a Karate move on C, which isn't allowed, unless used in the lesson. This action can result in him being removed from the classes. So, off I went to speak to Head. Told him about last two days incidents, that I had spoken with the teacher filling in for normal teacher, so an eye could be kept on things, had spoken to C at lunchtime, and nothing had happened, and told the Head I simply didn't know what else to do, that I had to protect C, as I felt nothing was being done etc etc. He got up (I was quite shocked to be honest) said he would look into it, again said there are problems etc (I don't care) and off he went!! Apparently he went into the classroom, walked around, and back out again. Is he for ruddy real. Patrolled the playground at last break, and as far as I know, that was it.
Head of year did approach me at end of day, and I explained that I had spoken to the Head, but felt very sure, I'd be speaking to him tomorrow, which I will be.
Member of staff did tell me to threaten them with legal action, threaten with the police, and the papers.
Anyhow, we shall see what happens next. Anna, I shall take a look at that site, thankyou.
This really spoke to me. I was bullied from primary 1 until the end of school. The teachers were useless. I always told a teacher. Nothing ever got sorted. No matter how many times my mum went to school.wrote letters, seperated me from bullies.
As terrible as it sounds. I would advise hitting back. I'm sorry if that's bad advice.Or moving schools. The boy i used to babysit has in the past few weeks moved schools. he's in primary 6. because he has had much the same things through the years. This has convinved me the teachers havn't changed in the last 10 years at least. Or some kind of self defence. Karate,judo?
I had horrible issues in my teens because of the damage the bullying had done through the years! I hate to see that in another child and completely understand why your blood is boiling. Threatening the school with Legal,police or papers sadly would draw more attention i think. It's terrible how they work.
Hello again
I do think something like karate would be great for C, wee froggy, but as Hazeleyes said, he cannot use it in this situation as it is against the school rules. However, it would increase his confidence.
Hope that the ACE website can provide some solid guidance to you. Stay with it, Hazeleyes, the way you are being messed around is infuriating
I had major meltdown with the new woman, and whether or not, she'll carry through with her words (heard all of this before) she has said, she is going to have a meeting with the parents (good luck with that one) We shall see folks
Fingers crossed....
I do hope so hazeleyes....my fingers are crossed too x
Thankyou.xx
I really don't want to go in tomorrow
Hi hazeleyes, I hope today isn't as bad as you were dreading.
You must stand proud and tall, primarily you are dealing with this because it is affecting your son, but I also believe as a learning assistant you are acting as concerned member of society who wants to know/see that the school deals with these situations effectively.
I hope C has a good day today too.
I don't blame you for being angry.
If anyone had ever suggested that my son had played with the bain of his life, I'd have been livid.
The bully, as far as I recall, never apologised to my son. It would not have been a sincere apology, so in that case I would not have wanted that to happen.
If it were me, I would be seeing the teacher who's decided to dish out this punishment to say that C is very VERY extremely ultra distressed and is hysterical with fear at the thought of playing with this lad who does nothing but hurt him by kicking, punching and hair pulling.
You have literally had to drag him to school as he felt so sick with fear.
Extreme?? What language is this boy's mother using??
Insist that this threat is immediately removed.
See the headmaster and take in a copy of the letter you sent in, stating that C must not sit near this boy as the boy is pulling his hair, upsetting him greatly and distracting him from his work.
Point out that C has never been anything less than polite with this lad, yet C is the one who seems to be being blamed for the actions of this lad.
Tell the headmaster if immediate action is not taken you will be writing to the had of governors to have this matter of lack of action with regards to this bullying addressed.
If no satisfaction is had from the governors then you write to the Education Department.
No satisfaction from there, then go to the local paper on how the school is not implementing its anti-bullying policy.
This is a disgrace.
If C is asked to apologise again, I think he needs to with respect, as why he needs to apologise when he's been kicked without doing anything to set things off.
I'm sure Louise will have some brilliant suggestions here.
There's been an incident in the local primary where my lot went to. A parent was saying how that in primary, bullying is dealt with very differently to high school.
In high school its instant suspension and expelled if it carries on. And it does happen at the high school.
Having said that, the bullying of my C continued through high school, and I still worry about him meeting his bully plus gang of 3 who wonder about...
Loads of hugs.
xxxxxxxxxx