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Ex has been saying for a while now that when he settles down with his new partner he wants to have DD for overnight stays and weekends.
I have worries about this and concerns for her safety. Can I say no you are not having her for weekends/overnight stays? What is the best way to say this? Has anyone been in this position? What did you do and what happened next?
Hello englishrose
Can I ask what you mean about concerns for her safety? It would be important to get legal advice in this instance, you can find a lawyer here, but please tell us a bit more about the situation so we can give more constructive help.
I had a solicitor for the divorce proceedings and when I asked her about obtaining a residency order the solicitor said it would not be necessary as at that time residency was not in dispute. I have recently spoken to my G.P. about my concerns for dd if ex was to have part time residency and she said if I'm concerned for dd's safety I would need to go to court. She advised to do nothing until he actually has accomodation that would be suitable for dd (he is currently in a bedsit) as G.P. suspects ex is never going to get accomodation that would actually be suitable and that it's all "pie in the sky".
I'm concerned for her safety for two main reasons, firstly ex is in very poor health and he may blackout leaving dd in danger not to mention trauma, secondly dd has medical conditions that need special care and attention that I really do not believe he would be able to cope with and she would be in pain and suffering if he did not give her the care she needs.
Hello English Rose
Sounds as if what your GP is saying makes a lot of sense, in other words, you may never be faced with this BUT you need to be ready with your "case". If you have concerns for her safety then one option is to refuse overnight stays etc and let him take out a court case if he wants, at which stage you have everything ready. It may be that these concners will lessen as she gets older, and also if you see that the new partner is there all the time and turns out to be quite reliable? (annoying though this may be to think about it right now!)
Thanks for reply.
How old is your child? A lawer told me that even a "good dad" wouldn't be granted over night visits from a court until they are 3 years of age & over as I am going though the same thing- no child can be taken out of their home without legal guardians agreement, I doubt any person would pick up their kid & fight their way past you, as that's kidnap, hope this helps x
That's very interesting that you were told that, Tinkerbell2, as I have been working with separated families for over ten years and have seen many instances of smaller children staying overnight with their dads. It really does vary from individual to individual case.
That's what I was told by my solicitor & this web sites one but u refured me to email, obviously each case is different but I can only go but what I have been told by two different people one being a qualified person of law
Yes, and I find that really interesting that that is your experience, thank you for sharing that...it is only by us all contributing that we find out all the things that are going on! 
Yes that is very true Louise & you have been so help for to me over this past week- I think this web site is very helpful & it's great to share experiences with other people in similar situations :)
situation has changed - my ex has a two bed flat. before school holiday he said he was single. after Christmas he said I had to let his ex continue to see dd as she wants to maintain the relationship. an hour later he said he was back with his ex. his ex/not ex whatever she is sent me a nasty text threatening solicitors if i did not agree to more visits during school holiday. i offered friday afternoon - they said no we're busy. what a happy new year to look forward too.
It sounds as if you are developing the ability to "rise above" some of the things that are going on, english rose, and that is all to the good.
So his new relationship is nice and stable, then? 
hmmmmmm
I'm confussed does his partner not realise dd is NOT her child and it's between you and your ex partner?!!!
Hi englishrose, keep that text and all correspondence. If they do decide to take you to court then you have documented evidence of what has transpired over the months.
At this point I would try and carry on as normal, try not to worry about their next move, you have to get on with your life and let them do the running. You offered Friday afternoon they said No. If they want to ask again, let them and you can decide.
Hi englishrose. I haven't been in this situation, but you would have to voice your concerns, explaining why you're concerned for your daughters safety. Do you have a solicitor? Others will be along at some point, who can guide you in the right direction.