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Hi,
I am hoping someone can give me some advice on a difficult situation at work. I have recently found out that I am expecting and am not planning on telling my workplace for as long as possible (hopefully @ 20 weeks), as I work in an office of approx 80 people, mostly women, and I don't want to be part of their gossip and rumour mills.
I work with my best friend and also her very recent ex-bf. I have told her about the pregnancy and some how, either through reading her private emails/texts or eavesdropping on conversations, he has discovered I am expecting. Not only this, but he has approached my friend to ask her why she didn't tell him about it, (she denied all knowledge) and I am certain that he is speaking to other people in the office about it. Not only this, but he is a deputy manager in my department and is very chummy with our "boys club" managers and I am worried he is planning on telling them my news.
I am just coming to terms with this myself and have known less than a week! And am really unhappy that he has found out and feels that he has a right to know about my condition. I have sent him an email today, explaining that I am aware that he is enquiring about my health and wellbeing, but to approach me if he has a concern over it and not to fuel office gossip by talking about me to others as it is very unprofessional and I will take it further if it does not stop.
What rights do i have at work? If he, or another manager, asks me outright do I have to answer? Is it possible to raise this with HR without my department being made aware of the pregnancy? And if I make a complaint, will it be taken seriously?
I really don't need this on top of everything else. it feels like I am in a playground stuck playing childish games, when really I am a proper grownup!! :(
Many thanks
Hello naomicj and first of all congratualtions!
I understand your wish to keep this news confidential especially in the early days....the only thing I would say is that you may need time off if you are unwell, or for appointments and you have a right to this time off but the right is in respect of the pregnancy so you would possibly have to tell your line manager. However you don't "have to" tell an employer until 15 weeks before the baby is due. See this page.
There is an organisation called Working Families, who are up to date with all the employment legislation and concerns of parents and parents to be. They have a Helpline, see the info by having a look at this page. Hopefully they will be able to give you some advice about the confidentiality aspect.
Good luck and let us know how you get on!