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Just need abit of advice! Myself & my child's father signed private written agreements about child payments and myself having full child guardianship with him having visits - both agreements were signed and dated by us both (father is on birth ceft) if god for bid things ever turned ugly and went to court, althou these are not legal documents would they stand up in court and be taken into consideration?? Many thanks
Thank you very much Louise- things have not got any better since our last chat her father has self invited his mates to my house with him and on his last visit he refused to pay any attention to my advice so she spent the whole time in tears :(
Hi Tinkerbell2
Well hopefully doing this reseach now will help you to feel a bit more empowered. Her dad needs to understand that he should be spending quality one to one time with her.
Hi. I just wanted to comment, because myself and my ex have similar written aggreements for visitation and maintenance for our 3 children.
The agreements themselves are not legal in the sense that they can be inforced if one or both of you don't follow for example when he doesnt pay which is more often than not the case or when he grabbed my 6 year old son by the throat I refused to allow him visitation anymore until he got involved with anger management which he still hasnt done.
However they are useful because if you do ever have to go to court they WILL be recognised by the judge, by signing it it is recognised that he agreed, and in good faith you believed him. If you are going to court because he is not sticking to it keep records that show he should have visited on (a) but did not turn up etc
If the agreement you have signed is a reasonable one 9 times out of 10 the judge will go with it. Also remember to keep any texts or emails or even facebook messages in regards to the kids because they are ALL recognised in court as written contracts, aggreements now because they are so common.
Based on what I have read in your post just because you agreed access if it is causing your daughter distress and he is behaving inappropriately is bringing his friends to your home. you are perfectly entitled to revoke it.
I would advise writing to him being polite but clear. I am....... because....... if you....... I am perfectly happy to consider.......... This then becomes a doccument you can provide court. You should set out exactly what is expected of him, how his actions affect your daughter and be clear that it has nothing to do with who has more rights mum or dad, As the resident parent you have the right to look out for your child and act acordingly to protect their physical and mental wellbeing. Where possible do as much as you can in writing even if its text message, be reasonable at all times, never make it about you and him, you can be a shi**y human being but still be a great dad, never use how it makes you feel always stick to how it makes your daughter feel. of course it makes you angry but take a step back and write it as if you were doing it on behalf of a friend.
Hope this helps x
Hi Tinkerbell2
I am not a lawyer but we do have the legal expert on the boards as you know and I would recommend you email her. Here is the the link.
Hope all is well with you